“I want the life that goes with these shoes…”

The hushed silence was suddenly disturbed by a piercing squeal of delight -"Oh my gosh! I cannot believe it!” All within ear-shot turned to stare. The accompanying female chorus joined in the shrill caucaughany as they gazed in disbelief at the banquet before them. The conspiratorial silence returned as they took a moment to breathe in the magnitude of it all. “Those girls must be from Australia” I remarked, “because we just don't have anything like this at home”. I too had experienced that same adrenaline pumping, heart racing orgasm the first time I entered through the hallowed doorway of the Designer Shoe Warehouse.

My partner-in-crime and I returned to our gentle exploration of the latest featured wares. “I am tired of Mommy-shoes,” she explained as she reverently selected and held aloft a beautiful scarlet patent leather stiletto “I want the life that goes with these shoes…”

And there it was, the mission statement for our current crossroad. Too old to be a yummy mummy, too conservative to be a MILF (and too realistic to be one of the girls from Sex and the City) our shoe persona at this juncture would carry us on the journey to our “what next”.

What is it about “shoes” that lures us into this addiction? The sole purpose is to protect and cover our feet from the external elements. How many of us have shoes that only meet this very basic criteria? Do we really not feel the "bed of nails” pain associated with stunning stilettos, or are we so distracted by our racing estrogen and sense of empowerment that we don’t care?

Either way, it was clear now what I must do. In the same manner in which I started the kitchen renovation project with just two swatches of color, I must now take inventory of my existing collection and determine which shoes would reveal my true desires and lead me forward into my next life phase.

For a woman who is happiest barefoot at her desk (or in the yoga studio), I have way too many shoes. I am drawn to the sensual pleasure of color and texture as Gollum coveted The Ring - “my precious…”. This will help to explain the following selected features from my collection. What do they say about me and my future?
"Slave-girl-meets-Amazon" and super-sexy, these shoes have as much stability as my roller blades, so I can really only wear them where I have a soft place to fall. Needless to say they are my husband's favorites.
Very NOW, these cute little shoe booties are actually not that uncomfortable and I imagine are what I would wear if I went back into a corporate office environment (although they would most likely spend much of their life on the floor under my desk).

I love these shoes (so pretty) but have yet to actually wear them (a whole season later). They are very OC and I now believe best belong to the Botox/Juvaderm/hair extensions/fake tan Housewives of Orange County lifestyle that I will never be able to embrace. I expect they will still be in this same pristine condition when (one day in the very distant future) my granddaughter, digging through the back of my closet wipes the dust off the top of the box and says “oooh, Nana, these are sooo retro cool!"

I think these are the ones! They are European and stylish and comfortable. The suede meets my sensual requirements, and fortunately living in Southern California – I do not need to worry about rain. There is something iconic about red shoes that inspires a certain “click three times” magic. I believe these shoes will take me where I want to go!

What shoe are you?


Reflections and impressions from this Aussie behind the Orange Curtain...