“Mother-in-law languages”

 

She’s sitting across from me;

I had not seen her in over 2 years. She came to WA because I had given birth to my 4th child, her grandson and she wanted to “help”.  I just want to show you my mother in law’s ways of “helping”. I know many military wives who are dealing with way too many mother in law issues.  I’m a 34 year old Puerto Rican woman, and to this day, this still kills me when I think about it.

As I’m sitting down in my living room couch (about 2 months ago) with my husband standing in the kitchen to my left, and with my 2 year old daughter running to me with her hands full of chocolate, and with my newborn on my breast sucking the life out of me and making me a little bit more dehydrated at the moment. My mother in law was trying to ask me something about a movie or something, and I completely decided to attend to my 2 year old hands instead of answering her, which made her stop talking. It’s that simple.

I didn’t ignore her by getting up and moving to a completely different room or by rolling my eyes because she was talking too much (but now that I think about it, maybe I should have) I simply said to my toddler as she was running towards me, “ Izzy stop, and go to daddy Hun, you have dirty hands”. My mother in law stops in mid sentence and she very politely, of course asks me, “Do you have ADD”?

Now, when I realize what she had asked me, I really couldn’t find anything else to do but smile at her and reply “No, why do you ask”? All while looking to my left at my husband, who at the moment couldn’t speak at all. Actually I think he went paler than usual. Now, her reply as to why she’s asking me this revolting and rude question to me is, “Because you’re all over the place”. Now let me explain this as fast as I can.

I had just had my 4th child. This woman – my mother in law — has had 4 children for heaven’s sake. You’d think that she would be the first one to really understand what a woman’s mind and body goes through right after birth? I was also getting used to, oh I don’t know, the fact that I had 4 children now who were under 8, and they were all fighting for my attention now. How could I have known how challenging that was going to be?

Now, this is where the irony lies, this woman has been on anxiety medication for years at a time.  She’s been married 5 times, and one of those men she met while he was in prison. Now, I’m not saying anything negative about people who have been in prison, heck my youngest sister’s boyfriend is in prison as I type. And I’m also not going to dive into a Tom Cruise scenario like when he trashed Brook Shields on live T.V for using antidepressants while she was going through post-partum depression.

I have many friends at this very moment who are taking medication for anxiety or for depression. I know friends who are in rehab right now, yes Military Spouses in rehab. I know why sometimes, you just have to go there, I get this, but I’m a 33 year old Puerto Rican woman who has never been on any medication other than getting a prescription for an inhaler for my asthma attacks. I’ve never been on any anxiety or depression medication in my life. Period, check my medical records, you will not find anything.

And one thing that I cannot put up with is when people make up stories about you that come from no were. No facts, just lies, just poison. For some reason there are women out there that happen to be on anxiety medication and think that just because they have issues that took them to that place, they somehow believe that it makes them an expert on what other women need. Now to ask a woman who had just had a baby if she has ADD? To this day this still blows my mind that she asked me that in front of my children and in front of my husband. My husband stayed out of it. But why? Why would he let his mother get away with asking me such a sick question?

I really don’t know how I just didn’t kick her out of my home. But this marked the beginning of arguments that would last for weeks between me and my husband. Why didn’t you stick up for me? See because when you love your spouse you stick up for them no matter what, you say things like, “My God mom, what are you talking about”? or, “Lucy, I really have to apologize for my mom, I don’t know what she was thinking to be honest”. But to be honest my husband is too embarrassed to even admit that his mom said something so idiotic.

See before she had arrived she had called the house one day a few weeks before my due date, (and I have to be sincere here when I say that, I never answer the phone when I see that is her on the ID caller, why? Because I want to avoid, the drama this woman brings. I’ve ignored her calls through many Deployments, through K- 9 School and Dev Group Training. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate my mother in law. She is by far a great woman. But somehow every time she gets close –she gets too close- and too comfortable. To the point that she starts telling this 33 year old Puerto Rican woman what she thinks I need or even how I should go about in asking my husband for the things that I need to buy. Yeah, I’m sorry, but I don’t think so. Today I realize that men, will almost always not argue with their mother. It’s a gift men have to be able to basically not take anything personally. Where as we women take everything personally. Word.)  I quickly passed the phone to him.

I went about my business in the kitchen and I started serving the girls some dinner when I suddenly hear my husband say, as he’s coming into the kitchen, “Oh I don’t know I’ll ask her”, and he looks at me while I’m serving my children dinner and asks, “Are you still peeling the apples for the girls”? See I’m laughing right now, because this is again, another one of her completely absurd questions that leave me baffled and it just makes me think, “Is she really asking this idiotic question”?

As I’m serving my girls dinner I think that is my husband asking me, because at the time it didn’t really hit me that she was asking him that question, and so again, I thought that HE was the one asking the question not her, and so I laugh and say, “Kiss my Puerto Rican Ass”. And that’s the extent of my dirty mouth by the way. You can ask anyone that knows me, I don’t curse when I speak to friends in social situations, and if I ever do I have to be extremely mad. But, I am married to a Soldier who curses every day.

So of course after 9 years of marriage we communicate in a completely different manner, he knows my humor; as well as I know his. But that incident marked the first issue we had in years and right before my due date when she was planning to come to us, to “help” and right before the “Do you have ADD” Question. When he hung up the phone I realized it all, and I asked him:

“Please tell me that that wasn’t your mom asking the Apple question? And please tell me that she doesn’t really think that me peeling an apple for my child is a bad thing”? “Please tell me that I’m not right”? It turns out that I was. My mother in law thinks that I shouldn’t be peeling the apples for my girls. Now, I had never heard anything like this before. I was baffled just like I always am by the things this woman says.

I knew she had grown up poor and that she was a single mom for a period of time. She has shared many sad stories about what her life was like growing up poor and trying to survive on her own. But you know what; my family also grew up poor on a TINY little Island.  My family suffered as well. We suffered through Hurricane after Hurricane. Through bad healthcare, just like she had in the past as well with her kids, because she has told me that many, many times. For some reason she feels the need to share her suffering every other time we do something positive.

If I post pictures on facebook of us in a farm picking pumpkins for Halloween, she’ll leave a message on my photo that say’s “You all get to experience and do the “fun stuff”. And then I have to reply, “That just means that we are blessed but we’re also thankful”. It’s one of those relationships that really just drain’s all the energy out of you. I came to a point in my life were I really didn’t want to be told certain things, and I realized that I really didn’t have to put up with those types of people if I didn’t want too, period.

If all I felt was anxiety when I talked to them, why would I want them in my life? Why would I want to complain about someone every day of my life when I have the power to not put up with IT? Exactly! certainly not me. Then I realized that she had been judging me in my own home. When I thought that she was there to help me the first time I had seen her in YEARS, when she came to “help” when I had had my 3rd child in WA, she was not there to help at all? She was there to watch me? And she wasn’t watching me because I was doing something wrong.

Whoever knows me knows that I keep my house clean, that my children go to school with clean clothes, and that I’ve never had to deal with people telling me otherwise. I realize that when she was watching me as I was peeling the apples to give to my daughters she was standing by nodding her head in secrecy and in disbelief that I was “spoiling” my girls by peeling those apples. See, because they should just eat them as they are.

Was this woman’s upbringing so horrible that her mentally goes as far as thinking that peeling an apple for a child means that you are spoiling your children? She probably also thinks that children should be seen…not heard! This is the same woman who didn’t allow her son to watch Scooby Doo when he was little plainly because there were ghosts in those cartoons, and evil would come into her home if they watched them.

Then I started to understand that this woman somehow saw Malice in things that she couldn’t understand or explain, and it all came from of course, fear. She sees a gun by my husband’s bedside, and even though her son has been a Cop for almost 10 years and he’s owned licenses for plenty of guns she’s known of and seen before, she still makes a remark to me in the car that she though my husband was going to commit suicide when she saw him holding the gun, which he was basically just putting away in the safe when she saw him, “But you guys had such a horrible argument the day before”, she explains.

So get this, because her son and I had an argument, she thought that her son was going to commit suicide? I was done by then, I just didn’t know how to end it with her; her mind was just too out there for my taste. There comes a point where enough is enough. It’s ok if you don’t like something or someone, but to just make up things, things that are basically happening in your head only, that’s too much and for heaven’s sake, that is seriously not healthy.

Just knowing that I had someone that I basically had not seen in a long time, someone that I really never was even close too, judging me for peeling APPLES for my children? Is it only me that thinks that that is completely absurd and weird? And this is exactly what started happening. I’ve seen this happen with younger Military Wives as well, especially wives like me who don’t get to go see family of their own for years at a time because there’s never enough money for it, or because the Military sends us to far away from our family, and they can’t afford to come and visit us.

The husband’s family takes over completely, and it’s usually the mother in law who’s smoldering the young married couple. After a while my husband was swallowing his mother’s speculations about what she thought of me, or what she thought was wrong with me, or with our children or with our family, or with our life, and I had had enough of that.

TIP # 1 for Mother in Laws: Leave the Marriage alone, and let them be in piece!

I’ll tell you why in very simple English. Is their marriage not yours? It’s that simple. No matter how young they are, they’re adults now, and you can say this as calm as you like, “I just want to help” “they need my help”, but really, you’re not helping. Especially when you are causing friction and arguments, and they are telling you that you are causing friction an arguments. That’s a huge stop sign right there. When there is abuse to the spouse or to the children and the house is crawling with roaches and there are drugs all over the place and alcohol cans everywhere every time you stop by, by all means please intervene and do whatever you can to save those poor souls.

By all means call the cops as soon as you leave that home, and tell them to come quietly so the children are not scared to death, take the kids for a while, let the cops look around. By all means do something about that, because something is better than nothing. When a car breaks down and they need some cash and you have it and you want to share it, by all means please, I beg you help those poor souls. When the kids need clothes for a special recital, send something, but please send it without asking for praise.

Do you see where this is going? When your help is truly needed and it’s called upon, help them with all your heart. But please, don’t speculate about what you think is going on in the marriage f there are no visible facts about what you’re speculating about, and don’t be a drama queen to your son about his wife. She’s a bad mom in your eyes? Then let it be seen by the right people and they’ll tell you if she’s a bad mom or not. Don’t cause unneeded stress.

This happens a lot when the mother in law doesn’t want to let go of her son, they just always want to be that special lady in their son’s lives.

This is my mother in law having a meltdown because of an issue over at Facebook, facebook? Really?

This was all because I had deactivated my account and she couldn’t find me on facebook one day. To be honest I started to deactivate my account because I was starting to realize that I was in facebook for way too long some days, just hitting refresh, and then I asked myself one day, “I wonder if anyone commented on my status” and I thought, oh no, nope. I don’t need this though in my head, I could really use some new ones, goodbye facebook, just for a little while. And then my husband leaves his facebook page open.

Now, my husband leaves his facebook account open, now why would he leave his facebook account open? You got it; let’s see who he’s been talking too. I don’t know what wife wouldn’t do the same.

I didn’t have any suspicions about the mother in law; I had suspicions of a few girls that my husband was adding that looked like they were offering their private services over at Craigslist; the posing in the profile picture, the lipstick, the pout, the tight mini skirt, and the HUGE gold earrings? Not your girl next door. But as soon as I open his received e-mails I see his mother in law’s first paragraph line “Lucy’s off of Facebook again”? And I think “What in the hell is this”? I had to read it.

How she managed to twist all the little things that I had said to her in a simple photo she posted, again, is beyond my comprehension. Why is this woman making up all these stories? And why is my husband acting like I’m the crazy one? Are you kidding me? Again, do I really have to put up with the bullshit coming from this pathological liar? Hey gossip about me, I don’t care, really I don’t, but telling LIES about me? Or about things that are not even happening at all doesn’t make any sense, and to be truthful, that’s just pure evil. Nope, no more, and believe me after I read this e-mail I had already decided to just end the relationship between my mother in law and myself for a very long time.

This is how her e-mail went, to the tee by the way, word for word:

Lucy’s off of Facebook again. Do you know why? She made a comment about being ready to go off on rude people.

(1st, I honestly never knew that she worried about me deactivating my facebook account, why would she? I had been doing that way before I had her in my friends list. Since I had her in MySpace already for over a year, I really didn’t feel the need to have her over at facebook, I should have kept it that way.

2nd, the way she’s asking my husband, “Do you know why”? Creeps me out, and honestly it’s mainly because I never knew she was this nosy or this gossipy. This reminds me too much of high school. I trusted her, she’s older, not even my mom is this nosy. Everything hit me while reading all of this. Jesus Lucy, she has always been this way, and you were too blind to see it.

3rd, When I made a comment about “getting ready to go off on rude people” before that sentence I had specifically talked about my academic advisor at my Online University, and how she was frustrating me by simply ignoring half my e-mails and leaving questions unanswered. Important questions, questions that I need to know to be able to take my next set of classes. So my mother in law just takes half of my post and includes that in the e-mail. Clueless, again of why she would do this. But it shows that she was somewhat paranoid that I was going to go off on her, maybe because she is RUDE and she KNOWS IT?
She continues to write….

She did write derogatory remarks that everyone could see on a picture of Kayli who was in a Hawaiian outfit. I had gently suggested she not bemoan the fact that she’s not in Hawaii, and she didn’t like it.

(Again, I was in awe of what this woman was saying to my husband in this e-mail, but let me show you what “derogatory remarks” she’s talking about that I apparently wrote. It’s simple, she posted a picture of a Luau that her granddaughter had at her school graduation and my mother in law wrote, “It made me think of Hawaii”. Because she had been there once to attend our Wedding Renewal, so I comment on the picture of how cute it is, and I write:

“Remember the Luau Janet? Ahhh I’m going to go cry now”!

Because when she came to Hawaii, we went to a Luau together. Then she replies this:

“What it is is. It is best we not bemoan the past if we cannot change it”

Can you tell me what that means? What the heck is this woman talking about? And then it hit me, she doesn’t like the fact that I miss Hawaii and that I talk about me missing Hawaii in my Facebook page. Almost all of the military spouses in my list on facebook are from Hawaii, hello! So basically she visits Hawaii for 2 weeks and she can write, “It reminds me of Hawaii” and I live in Hawaii for 3 years, have a child there, go through a Deployment there, start my photography business there, and I can’t talk about missing Hawaii? Kiss my beige ass. So I reply back this:

“I will “bemoan” about Hawaii all my life, because that is MY right, just like it is YOUR right to give ADVICE, right? Love you!”

And I added the “Love you” out of respect. I wanted to show her that I do love her, but she’s not allowed to walk all over me or lecture me, because If she thinks that she’s lecturing a little girl here, she’s wrong; I’m too old to play these games. I have a mom, and my mom has never told me what to say or how to say it. That is one of the blessings that I thank my mom for. She never told me what to be, she let me be what I wanted to be. My mom never pushed anything on me. My MIL reads that, and comes in very quickly and short and writes:

“I know, just though I’d put that in….but you can be you”.

Thank you, really? I can be me? She’s giving me permission to speak my mind? I write back to her:

“This is why we have to be very careful when we give advice, it’s ok to give advice sometimes, but it’s not always needed…I just thought I’d put that in as well” :-)

Hell I give her a smilie face! And this is where she writes in the e-mail to my husband that I basically told her that I didn’t need her advice. Nope, we need to read better, I told you that we have to be very careful when we give advice. It’s funny when she writes him “She tried to be polite but it was getting to a point that soon, she would not be”. Did she think that I was going to shoot her over the internet or something? She felt oh so threatened by my words? My words were that frighting? My God.

Basically, she told me that she didn’t need my advice, and to keep my opinion to myself. She tried to be polite, but it was getting to a point that soon, she would not be. Maybe you told her something else I’d said to you and she didn’t want to hear.

Whatever, I didn’t think everyone on Facebook should be able to see dirty laundry and deleted all those remarks, her’s and mine.

(Wrong, she erased them all because she felt embarrassed that I put her in her place in front of all her Christian friends and family members) she goes on:

I do hope Jazmine had a good birthday, and “things” didn’t spoil it.

And here she thinks that because we had that ridiculous dispute on Facebook that it will somehow affect my daughter’s birthday party? Yeah, I’m going to shut down my plans and my life because of her idiotic comments on facebook? Can she be any more Vain? The she writes to my husband:

Call if you need to vent, and I will try not to voice my opinion that will cause trouble. “What is is.” “Serenity Prayer”

Call if you need to vent, she writes to my husband, because she will “try” not to voice her opinion that will cause trouble. Then she types something that doesn’t make sense again. What is is. “The Serenity Prayer”?

A poem that all “Christians” love to recite but can’t fully comprehend.

In Short the prayer say’s…

“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference”

And I still have no idea why in the world she wrote that in the e-mail. “What is is?” Basically because I’m no longer in Hawaii and I complain about the DEPRESSING COLD STATE of Washington she thinks that I should just stop talking about Hawaii because that’s in the past, and I cannot change it, and I need the courage to change the things that I can change, and I ALSO need the WISDOM to know the difference.

Wait, who calls herself a “Cristian” here? Not me, I don’t flip people off, and then go and read the bible. This woman flipped me off in my own home in front of my husband…of course in the most gentler way…she might say. I had not seen this woman in….years….and she flips me off…laughing at her own finger….because I correct something that she misunderstood that my husband and I were talking about in the kitchen.This woman prides herself for taking care of Seniors and reading to little children at Church, and she finds it hilarious…..to flip people off?

Why is it that religious people….

ARE THE CRAZIEST PEOPLE ON THIS EARTH?????????????????????

This woman makes AMAZING Quilts and amazing little dresses for the girls, she sends us these amazing creations and I’m in awe…but she is so insecure, that no matter how many times I tell her how much I LOVE these amazing Quilts….she still thinks…that we hate them.

Why? I have NO IDEA. You would think that it’s because either myself or my husband have told her…”WE HATE YOUR QUILTS and THESE DRESSES” right? No..it’s in her own mind, there’s a little person in there telling her that…….we don’t like her quilts. She asks the most ridiculous questions about them when she sends them out to us.

“Did you hide the Quilts, or are they out”?

I send this woman pictures of the Girls wearing her beautiful creations people, I’m a Photographer, this is what I love to do. I take the girls outside with the cute little dresses take photographs, and then quickly send them to her…and she LOVES them. I do the same with the Quilts, example: We went Camping to these beautiful Cabins here in WA a year ago, the girls had one of her Quilts in the back seat keeping them warm, I took a picture of it, and sent it to my mother in law….She loved it that we were using them. She was still not happy.

Me? I’m tired. I’m done. This relationship drains me. It drains all the good out of me, and I am NOT going to put up with it anymore.

After I read her e-mail on facebook, I started to see things I had not noticed before. My husband was actually following his moms advice. She was telling my husband that I needed therapy…or something like that. I have 4 children under 8, my youngest is 2 months old…and it’s amazing, she was here in WA when I went into Labor in our home. She saw it first hand. I’m the 4 minute lady at the Naval Hospital here, because when I arrived, my water had broken in our Minivan, and they were waiting for us with a wheel chair.

I was pushing in the elevator…. and they had to run…you should have seen this nurse that was pushing me, she was flying in those hospital hallways. Once in the room they took off my blouse and my pants so fast I didn’t even feel it, all my clothing flew up in the air. They lay me down on the bed and I was a full 10…I pushed 3 times and this precious Boy came out……..8 pounds 13 oz. There was no time for IV’s, or monitors, it was all natural.

Then I come home to 3 kids under 8……and she’s telling my husband I need counseling? Lady….I need sleep. Let a mother sleep for 3 days straight…..let me tell you, she’ll be a completely different woman. By the way, this woman has been in counseling many times before when her children were little. The Counseling had to do with the fact that she married a man who abused 2 of her children, you know the man she met in jail.

People, I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I will not sugar coat them in here. Heck my husband and I had Marriage Counseling in Hawaii for a short period, but don’t stick your nose in a marriage, don’t ask a woman who has just given birth if she has ADD, and don’t tell her husband that she needs counseling.

I’ve done all of our Deployments ALONE. I’m not as lucky as some, I can’t get on a plane and fly home to see my family as soon as my husband Deploys. My family is not here by my side when he leaves. My family lives in Puerto Rico, and they in no way shape or form can afford to get on a plane and fly to come and see me. When my husband left to Kuwait a year and a half ago, guess how many times I called my mother in law? NONE, I didn’t call her not one time, and I think that bothers her, that I didn’t need anybody while my husband was gone.

Not even my mom got a call from me sounding like this, “OMG mom, I’m so sad, I’m so tired, I’m so depressed”. My mom didn’t hear from me either. I was in a strange state, fresh from landing in WA, and my husband leaves 3 months after we get here. Not only do I know no one, I go through the worst winter storm WA had seen in more than 20 years. And this Puerto Ricn has seen snow. My mom was born in N.Y, and her entire side of the family is in NJ and PA, when we were little we were lucky to fly to the states on holidays, in winter time. But to actually live trough a winter storm when you have never had to deal with shoveling your front porch or your driveway? And to deal with that for the first time alone with 3 little girls all under 6 years of age?

But this is the thing…..I’m NOT a cry baby, I don’t complain to people, when it comes to those things, especially when they are happening to me through a deployment. I just deal with them and move on. I don’t call anyone, because I KNOW that they are basically not going to understand anything that I’m saying.  My mother in law….has noticed this in the 8 1/2 years that I’ve been with her son. She’s notice that I don’t share certain things. And shes probably wondering, “Man, how does Lucy get through all these changes without MEDICATION”? And I have done them all without Medication. My medication is music, my medication is laughing, walking, running, singing, or hell having TANTRUMS fits helps me deal.

My fits are fun, and I do them in the privacy of my own house. A lot of people can’t cry, it’s just something they don’t know how to do. I have floods here people-in private-but I have them. And that’s how I deal.

So after reading that e-mail that my mother in law sent to my husband, that e-mail were she twisted everything that I said to her, I decided to end it, and so I sent her this letter:

You and I must NEVER communicate again.

And before I say anything.

Please show this e-mail to Kevin. Yes, I need Kevin to read this e-mail to you Janet.

To make sure that YOU don’t “twist” everything that I say Janet. To make sure you understand what this e-mail really means.

Because I just saw all the e-mails that you have written to Josh on Facebook. My God Janet, how could you? How could you TWIST everything around that I have said or written to you Janet?

Is this what you did to Lorena as well? Is this why the Cops laughed at you when you “though” that Lorena was giving your granddaughter “old” juice? You keep saying things Janet that are NOT THERE Janet.

They only happen in YOUR HEAD.

Is it the Medicine that you take? Is that what makes you Confused? Janet I’m asking HONESTLY. I’m sorry but those e-mails that you wrote Josh were all lies. Basically, You are the one causing friction here with those e-mails that you keep writing to Josh. No one else Janet, but you. Those e-mails? I’m in shock.

Do you remember when you flipped me off in my own home? Yes Janet when you FLIPPED ME OFF with your finger, “kidding around”, Do you Remember that?

Or are you going to “twist” that around to your own liking? Do you know why I didn’t flip you the finger back? Like you did to me? Yes Janet, I did not flip you back. I do not give the finger to anyone. EVER.

Josh was here. THANK GOD Janet that you cannot “twist” that around Janet. Because I don’t flip Off Mother In Law’s, and I talked to Josh about that later that night. That is not something that I do.

Not even kidding around. You flip me off, and then you act like a Saint and go off to read the Bible? And to give everyone advice? That has a name, it’s called being a Hypocrite. I will no longer put up with you twisting everything around to your own liking, and lying to Josh about everything.

That will END TODAY. That is your own doing, no one else’s. Your lies in those e-mails, did this.

The picture of Kaily in the Luau. You know the picture where YOU posted, that it made (YOU) THINK OF HAWAII? You know, where I asked you, “Remember the Luau Janet, I’m going to go cry now”. Remember that? You know were you told me that it was best I not “bemoan” things that I cannot change?

I NEVER wrote you that I did not want you NOT GIVE ME ANY ADVICE. Why did you twist that around when you wrote to Josh?

You need to READ BETTER JANET. I told you that you need to be CAREFUL WHEN YOU GIVE ADVICE. Did you forget what I wrote??? What in the heck is going on with you Janet?

Or was it the fact that I PUT YOU ON THE SPOT for everyone to see? That is NOT dirty Laundry as YOU told Josh on your e-mail to him Janet, THAT is someone being HONEST with you. That is why I also told you that remembering Hawaii and Puerto Rico…..is my RIGHT. Just like it is yours…..to give ADVICE.

Apparently when someone is honest with you…..YOU TWIST EVERYTHING THEY SAY to your own liking.

Do not ever ask me if I have Attention Deficit Disorder in MY HOME. That was just REVOLTING and RUDE. Especially asking me that in front of my HUSBAND. And Especially to a woman who had just given birth.

How could you ask me that Janet?….I don’t know Janet, but it seems that everything that comes out of your mouth….CAUSES A PROBLEM…and everything you say does not make ANY sense at all.

Do not write Josh about THE PAST…yes Janet. You wrote Josh about the time when I was staying with you in NM…when he was in MP School.

You also told him IN A FACEBOOK E-mail that I never told you that I did not have a Driving License. I HAVE HAD MY DRIVING LICENSE SINCE I WAS 16!

I was the one PICKING JOSH UP from the Barracks in Puerto Rico. You know….when Josh DID NOT HAVE A CAR.

Do not SPECULATE about what YOU think the “Issue” is with me. I had a HARD LABOR, and a PAINFUL Delivery….Simple as that Janet. I’m a mother….is that simple Janet.

Josh curses when he argues or gets mad..yes YOUR GEM says things like…SUCK MY COCK. Your Gem has a dirty mouth. No, he has it when you are NOT HERE.

I have tantrums when I argue….that’s it. I scream…I cry….it is that simple. Then…I MOVE ON.

I did Kuwait Alone. Yeah….there you go. I did it SNOWED IN, SICK, TIRED, SLEEPY….I did it ALL ALONE. I didn’t call you….I didn’t call ANYONE for help. No one was here to help me…I survived…JUST FINE.

I also did it Without PILLS and without COUNSELING. I have tantrums…and I MOVE ON…it is that simple. That is HOW I deal. I don’t need Medication for anything.

You are the one on Medication Janet…..not me. I didn’t have your childhood, and I’m glad that I didn’t Janet. We are different Janet.

I’m done with your lies to Josh. Those E-mails that you wrote him….all LIES.

You and I can be friends again when:

YOU STOP TWISTING EVERYTHING THAT I SAY like you did in those e-mails.

If you need proof….WE will pull them all out and point out EVERY TWISTING LIE YOU TOLD JOSH.

Josh is DONE…..with you talking ABOUT ME TO HIM….he doesn’t want to tell you..

BUT from now on HE WILL IGNORE ANYTHING YOU SAY ABOUT ME and reply….with a SHORT REPLY.

He will ignore YOUR TWISTING LIES from today and on.

I don’t call you and VENT when he is screaming an the VIDEO GAMES at night……Go suck a DICK! to his BUDDIES.

Neither does he need to VENT to YOU when we have an Issue.

This is OUR MARRIAGE. Please mind your own Marriage, PLEASE not ours. It’s NONE of your business what happens here.

Again….until you LEARN to STOP twisting the things that I SAY I will not Communicate with you.

Goodbye.
Lucy

Yes, fumes where coming out of my ears as I was writing that letter, you know when you’re speaking into the monitor at the same time you’re typing? That was me, but guess what?

After I wrote that letter came relief. I was honest, direct, and yes furious, but I was in no mood to play games anymore.

Cased Closed

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