10 Minutes of Life: My Son Braylon

 

Best Gift Ever
The little box…instead of leaving the hospital with my bundle of joy, I left the hospital with this….

 “Sometimes the smallest things, take away the most room in your heart”Anonymous

Brian had his small group brotherhood meeting on this evening and he called me before he came home. Once he arrived home, I grabbed my robe and headed down the stairs to greet him.  As we sat on the couch and talked a small shadow flickered in the hallway, Ahhh! That was Brenden.  I wondered why he was yet awake. He came and sat next to us and when it was time to go upstairs some kind of way he managed to get on his Daddy’s shoulders and enjoyed a nice ride upstairs and into his bed.  As Brian and I were getting ready to jump in to the bed, we could hear the sound of someone’s footsteps in the hallway, it was Brenden again! So the next thing you know he’s in the middle of the bed, playing with my hands, whispering secrets to me....then....just as short as his whisper he fell asleep. As I looked at his innocent cute face, I wondered, how big my little one has now grown up.  He’s 5 years old now; time has just flown so quickly.  I truly heard the Lord say to me, “They are hurting.”

Over the years I have realized that writing is the best way to release your emotions. So, I decided to pen down my thoughts. I love to get inspiration from other bloggers, so visited a blog called An Inch of Gray by Anna.  As I was reading about her latest thrift shop find, I looked over and saw a post years ago about losing her son.  Then I heard the voice of the Lord again, “Help those that are hurting...moms, dads, families.”  Then I had my AHA moment, as Oprah always says I knew what was required of me.


Emotionally, this is the toughest blog post for me to write, but I would like to do it. Just to tell you all, how important it is to listen to your inner voice.

My Baby Braylon......

Joy of motherhood
His tiny imprints are fading away but he will never be forgotten

Children are not merely lives we create, but they are god’s real gifts given to us. Motherhood is an absolute blessing! I am lucky to have experienced it. A woman has many roles to fulfill in a lifetime and the role of a mother is an integral one. At first me and Brian had each other, then the kids came along. Now we have everything!

It was January 7, 2011 Yeah my Birthday! The day I will never forget. I decided to have my ultrasound. It was then time for some yummy breakfast! I opened the refrigerator to check what I have, so that I can quickly whip up something. Guess what I saw, a gorgeous diamond ring in the first compartment of the fridge. I was smiling like there was no tomorrow!  What a perfect day! My man just surprised me, kids are happy, I said to myself life is good, life is really good.

As we walked in to the ultrasound office, we were greeted by the staff and it’s quite nice when you know the techs and doctors by their first name. That’s one of the perks of having multiple children you see. It’s finally our turn and.......IT’s a BOY!! 3 Girls and now 3 BOYS! This is turning out to be the happiest day of my life.  The doctor says everything looks good but there is a small thinning area on my uterus that he noticed and would mention it to my OB but other than that we were all set to go!  I can’t wait to go to church this evening and tell EVERYONE that we are expecting and that it’s a BOY.  As I was getting dressed to go to the church I started feeling a little tug in my abdomen accompanied by pain.  Brian laid hands on me and prayed for me. My mind must be playing tricks on me. I have been completely fine during this pregnancy up until now.  I had no idea what was going on.

At church I remember the pain getting worse and when they called for announcements, I could barely stand up. Then I thought I will share the good news with them on Sunday. The entire Saturday I stayed in bed and off my feet and I felt a little better. I could not wait to tell the Saints about our little bundle of joy.  I woke up that morning and as soon as I got up that “tug” that I was feeling loosed accompanied with the most unbearable pain.  I dropped down to my knees and before I could reach the floor Brian was right there to hold me in his strong arms. By the time we arrived at the hospital the diagnosis was not good. Uterine Tear and I was on immediate hospital bed rest until Braylon was born. Baby Braylon needed to be nurtured for another 3 months, I was six months pregnant then. The next few months were really hard. The pain was so bad and I wasn’t allowed to take any pain killers because it could mask the full rupture. Also, the only time I got up was to actually use the bathroom, it’s actually the only time I was allowed to get up. At that point of time, I could do anything to save my child. Around the 6th or 7th day, it was time for my daily ultrasound.  I could finally see Braylon, but this time what I saw stayed in my mind forever. I saw the sheer horror on the ultrasound assistant’s face and I couldn’t believe what I was actually seeing on the screen. Half of my son’s body was going in and out of the womb.  The tear had increased in size and now I was bleeding internally.

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