10 Things to Know When You're Trying to Get Pregnant
By Rita Arens on December 21, 2012
BlogHer Original Post
So you're trying to get pregnant, eh? I'm happy to kick off THE REST OF YOUR LIFE by offering unwanted advice! You're so welcome!
It's Harder Than You Thought
According to an Italian study, female fertility peaks before 27, and by "peaking," they mean "50% chance at conception at any given time." So yes, cruel irony, if you've been trying really hard NOT to get pregnant for years, now you're going to have to try TO get pregnant, if you're over the age of about 25. This is not intended to be depressing information -- plenty of people get pregnant every day over the age of 25 -- but merely a hat-tip to "Hey, don't freak out if it doesn't happen right away." Give it twelve months if you're under 35 before you think about it too much, six months if you're over 35.
You Have to Have All the Sex
When my husband and I were trying to get pregnant, we had sex every other day the month we conceived. This might sound awesome to some of you, but it did not feel awesome to try to get horned up after a long day at work when neither of us were in the mood. There will be many days when you don't want to have sex, but if you're serious about getting pregnant, you might want to invest in some lube. This is a numbers game, ladies. Fortunately, 2012 was the Year of Erotica in publishing, so there are plenty of hot romance novels in any given bookstore to help you out!
People Will Want to Know About Your Sex
If you tell people you are trying to get pregnant, they will ask shockingly blunt questions about your sex life. Note who asks the most, because that will be the same person who will tell you your baby needs a hat when it's 85 degrees outside. Proceed with caution. Pick a few close friends who don't normally pry where you don't want them to and tell them, but don't feel the need to tell the world until you've got a bun in the oven for reals. Unless you like talking about sex with the checkout girl, and if so, by all means go crazy!
Be Aware of the Power of Your Words
You may have a Facebook friend who is struggling with infertility and doesn't want to hear about your prenatal vitamins. This is not meant to muzzle you. However, there are a few hot-button things in life, and infertility is one of them. Just be sensitive about what you're saying. I learned this from experience -- and I was not sensitive and only learned later that I had hurt people with my posts. I'm all about letting you learn from my mistakes!
If You've Been on The Pill, Ignore That Cervical Mucus Stuff
Every article I've read on trying to get pregnant says some stuff about basal body temperature and cervical mucus. If you've been on The Pill for years, you may or may not have even seen cervical mucus in a while and your body hasn't been acting Normal Female since you started taking it. It will probably take a few months of the new normal before you're able to read your body's signs. When I was on The Pill, my periods were lighter and like clockwork. Now after having been off it for years, I'm often shocked by the force of my Woman Body, what with its unexpected sexuality, cervical mucus and mind-blowing cramps.