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My daughter had her first alcoholic drink at 14. She and her girlfriends passed around water bottles of vodka at a sleepover – after the host parents had gone to bed.
“Nearly 20 percent of 14-year-olds say they have been drunk at least once,” says Dr. Kenneth Moritsugu, Acting U.S. Surgeon General, his 2007 Call to Action. What’s worse:“Young people who start drinking before the age of 15 are 5 times more like to have alcohol-related problems later in life.”
As someone who has personally survived the ravages of various loved ones’ drinking, I desperately wanted to help my daughter avoid the perilous path to alcohol abuse or addiction.
So, what can concerned parents do? While writing “If You Loved Me, You’d Stop!” I came up with 10 ways parents can help their children avoid underage drinking and the potential for lifelong alcohol use-related problems.
1. Model moderation.
Easy to say, but what does it mean? Basically – avoid binge drinking (4 or more for women and 5 or more for men) and stay within weekly limits. For men, that’s no more than 14 in a week, with no more than 4 in one day. For women, that’s no more than 7 in a week, with no more than 3 in one day.
2. Don’t tailgate with kids in tow. As tempting as it is to bring your children to a tail-gate party before the big game, pass on the family outing if alcohol is central to having a good time. The same is true of child-centered events and activities (team sports, birthday parties or milestone celebrations). By cutting out the alcohol, you send a message that drinking is not the key to having fun. [Of course, an adults-only tail gate party is something else, entirely.]
3. About that drink; there’s more to it than you think
You’ve read the amounts: 5 ounces of wine, 12 ounces of beer and 1.5 ounces of 80-proof distilled spirits (vodka, gin, scotch) – all equal ONE drink (meaning they all have the same alcohol content). Try measuring each quantity into a glass to see what it looks like. You may be surprised! Even more surprising may be the fact that common drinks adults consume at bars or events often contain two or more drinks of alcohol - each!
4. Don’t Drink and Drive.
You may know you’ve metabolized that drink before you get behind the wheel, but if your children are with you, the message you’re sending is there is a “safe” level of drinking and driving. Don’t...
5. Know about the adolescent's brain development.
You’ll likely be surprised by the new brain research that shows the brain goes through a critical developmental stage that lasts from adolescence through early 20s. Add to that the lack of hindsight (which only comes with experience) and it’s no wonder the answer is a blank stare when you confront your teen with, “What were you thinking?!” It also explains why the drinking age should be 21. Check out this video about adolescent addiction.
6. Know what’s in your cupboard.
One of the primary sources of alcohol for kids is their parent’s or a friend’s parent’s supply. Keep liquor cabinets locked and monitor refrigerator supplies.
7. Change the rules.
It’s probably a good idea to stop the sleepovers (talk to your child’s friend’s parents to make it unanimous) by the end of Middle School, and set the alarm so you’re up and ready for a chat when curfew brings them home. [Knowing you’re going to be up gives them the excuse to say, “I can’t. My mom/dad is always waiting up for me.]
8. Find the time.
Sometimes the teen years seem to be all about rules, curfews, homework, being grounded and rants about what they’re doing or not doing. Try to set aside time each week when the two of you do something together (could even be an errand or a trip to the yogurt shop at 9:00 p.m.) where there is no lecture, no criticism – nothing but positive messages and even a few laughs. If you’re wondering what to talk about… ask a question (but not about grades or school or homework or sports or why they weren’t named captain); something like, “Who would you vote for President if you could vote?” Once they can rely on
