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I am 62, divorced, basically without living relatives, endlessly curious, spiritually imaginative and always embarking on one sort of journey or anot...
 
 
 
 

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10 Ways: Quiz Yourself to Help Stop Hatred

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Hatred has become a frightening part of everyday life. From the web to Congress, from casual remarks over paper cups of coffee to snide remarks over cocktail glasses, the shadow of hatred can be found lurking. Hate crimes in America continue to rise. It is time to step further up and to support positive change, both in our communities and in ourselves.

The Southern Poverty Law Center has just produced a publication called Ten Ways to Fight Hatred that can be printed from their site or ordered in quantity. It speaks pragmatically of things that can be done in one's community. The Guide Introduction says, in part:

Whether you need a crash course to deal with an upcoming white-power rally, a primer on the media or a long-range plan to promote tolerance in your community, you will find practical advice, timely examples and helpful resources in this guide. The steps outlined here have been tested in scores of communities across the nation by a wide range of human rights, faith and civic organizations. Our experience shows that one person, acting from conscience and love, is able to neutralize bigotry. Imagine, then, what an entire community, working together, might do.

10 Ways to Fight Hatred

ACT
UNITE
SUPPORT THE VICTIMS
DO YOUR HOMEWORK
CREATE AN ALTERNATIVE
SPEAK UP
LOBBY LEADERS
LOOK LONG RANGE
TEACH TOLERANCE
DIG DEEPER

The area I'd like to discuss here, with you -- Digging Deeper. Take a deep breath and quietly ask yourself the ten questions below (inspired by the SPLC). Hatred, prejudice, bias -- they are all like glue, and we may have rubbed up against some and gotten some on us, or inside our thoughts.

And, unwittingly, we may have passed these ideas on to our children. That compounds the tragedy. The roots of hatred, however thin or thick, need to be routed out. The stakes are too high not to do the work. We will pass this world to the next generations. Will they say that we helped heal the hatred?

Partners Against Hate has released some frightening statistics about hate crimes and youth:

33% of all known hate crime offenders are under 18
31% of all violent crime offenders and 46% of the property offenders are under 18.
29% of all hate crime offenders are 18-24.
30% of all victims of bias-motivated aggravated assaults and 34% of the victims of simple assault are under 18.

We live in a culture that serves up prejudice in insidious ways. We all need to muster up the courage to look inside to see, or we can never heal ourselves, or our world. Think through these and track them back - imagine how your answers to any of them may have affected the way you view others.

10 Questions that Dig Deeper

1. If you believe in God, and you suddenly imagine an image of a person to represent God, what color is he/she?
2. Have you ever passed along an e-mail with "redneck jokes"?
3. Have you ever told a gay joke? A joke about illegal immigrants? A joke about a fat person? Ethnic jokes?
4. How many people not of your race are in your personal address book?
5. When you think "terrorist" -- what religion is that person?
6. Have you ever asked a friend or work colleague not to tell a sexist,racist, ethnic or homophobic joke in your presence?
7. How often are you in the minority -- ethnically, racially, religious, income level, or by sexual preference?
8. When you learn about another group, where do you get your information -- from members of that group or from a third-party group that may bring their own limits with them?
9. Do you speak differently of members of another group if they are in the conversation with you as opposed to when they are absent?
10. Have you ever clumped all members of a group together with a negative value statement? ("All Irish are ... ," "Muslims are ... ," "Those immigrants ... ")

Everyone is going to find something on that list to fix. Everyone has some time when they have not spoken up or when they have spoken badly. But that was then. Now is now. Fixing the problems in our troubled world runs concurrently with fixing the problems inside ourselves.

The stakes are so very high. We are all part of the human family, unique, but connected. Our futures are each inexorably bound up with each other's well-being.

RESOURCES

Teaching Tolerance.Org has a list of children's books

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Mata H 5 pts

Good comment. I see your point. The use of the word "tolerance" above was from the Southern Poverty Law Center quote. They have as their slogan "Fighting Hatred. Teaching Tolerance. Seeking Justice"  To that end they have ben publishing a free magazine called "Teaching Tolerence" for many years. Here is how they describe it:

<Blockquote>

Teaching Tolerance magazine reaches more than 400,000 educators across the country. Published twice a year and provided free to educators, the magazine was the first national forum where K-12 educators could exchange fresh ideas for teaching about diversity.

</blockquote>

Check out their "teaching Tolerence" section on their site. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. It definitely takes the tone of "recognition".

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool ( http://timesfool.blogspot.com )

Graycard 5 pts

A good and useful post, but I have a niggling beef with the use of the word "tolerance" in this context. A person who "tolerates" another appears to me at least to suppose an inherent entitlement, a superiority that permits her to refuse to tolerate that other if she chooses. I'd like to argue for the word's rejection in favor of "recognition"; when we recognize that the other is in no significant way different from ourselves then we have cleared compassion's first hurdle and the hatred you wish to overcome has no basis for existence.

Thanks for your time.

Mata H 5 pts

I agree. Why is it that so little is being directly addressed about this in schools, the media and in government?  We see so much of it, yet hear comparatively so little about how to stop it, and why it is wrong. (I don't mean to ask just you that. It is a question for everyone.)

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool ( http://timesfool.blogspot.com )

christinajeanne 5 pts

There is still so much racism and hate in this world. Obviously or the worldwould not be in it's current state with all the violence and other bad things.

Mata H 5 pts

You are right about judgmentalism. The key is to find ways in which compassion and justice can walk hand in hand.

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool ( http://timesfool.blogspot.com )

Mata H 5 pts

You are so right. The unexamined life is not only not worth living (as the saying goes) it is also potentially harmful to others. Yes, the questions are to "dig deeper" - becaus the tendrils of prejudice, bias, negative attitudes can beome breeding grounds for really hateful outgrowths. As you said, "Racism and hatred around us and in our hearts is more likely to flourish if we pretend they can't possibly exist without or within."

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool ( http://timesfool.blogspot.com )

Beverly Flaxington 5 pts

I think so many people are judgmental because fundamentally they don't really feel very good about themselves so if I put anyone else down, it brings me up (but of course, not really). My kids get so frustrated with me because even when they just gossip I say, "But, maybe there is something else going on with that person.... we don't know". They say to me, "Why can't you just say 'yes, that person is a jerk', mom!?" But I feel like everytime we bash anyone else for any reason, we are actually devaluing ourselves. In my book, the fifth secret is "I'm okay, you are most definitely not okay" because we do find it so easy to say we're superior -- and those other people, i.e. anyone different from us, are "bad" somehow. I think we're all struggling and the best way to support oneself is to offer that kindness, compassion and support to someone else.

Beverly Flaxington

Blog: Dealing with Difficult People ( http://dealingdifficultpeople.blogspot.com/ )

Book: Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets ( http://www.understandingotherpeople.com/ )

Nordette Adams 6 pts

I think it's important to periodically examine our biases and not assume we're bias free or hatred free. And if we discover a bias, to keep that in mind and root out the irrational as well rational when it harms us. For instance, it's rational to be uncomfortable when entering certain parts of a city that you always see on the news with murders, but that caution becomes harmful when we treat everyone from that neighborhood with suspicion. 

To me, people who claim they have no biases without every doing a thorough soul-search to address them run a greater risk of developing both conscious and subconscious hatred of other groups and other individuals. But many of us don't recognize our emotions and how we reflect them to others nor the difference between reasonable anger that should still be addressed with an eye on forgiveness and cankering bitterness and bigotry

And as you know, my thing ( http://bigsole.blogspot.com/2010/02/define-your-ra... ) is that people should not jump too quickly and get bent out of shape at the mention of the word racist when used as its standard definition. It will be a long time before we are racism free, if ever. Racism and hatred around us and in our hearts is more likely to flourish if we pretend they can't possibly exist without or within.

I think your list of questions should be viewed not so much as as a way of identifying hate but as you say a means to dig deeper. I infer it means dig deeper before supposed accepted/tamer negative attitudes grow to something worse.

Nordette Adams ( http://www.bookotopia.com ) is a BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... ) & you can find her other stuff through Her 411 ( http://her411.com ).