The $100 Question: Amy from Taste Like Crazy Asks If Children Should Be Guarded From Failure

No! It's in trying again, and maybe even succeeding, that we grow and develop a sense of ourselves as capable people.

Oscar Wilde said that " 'experience' is the name we give to our mistakes." How will our kids ever learn to do anything if they're not allowed to make a few errors along the way?

Absolutely not. People of ANY age who have never failed at anything are the people who have never tried anything. Protecting a child from the consequences of his/her own actions/choices will result in a human being who is elitist, selfish, ungrateful, EXPECTS something for nothing, demanding, and just generally babyish and unpleasant. I have some of those people in my college classes right now. Their parents are STILL on the phone and at the door, whining for teachers to change things just for their kid because, you know, their kid deserves special consideration, etc. The world does not appreciate people who not only expect but REQUIRE things to go their way at all times in spite of whatever they do or don't do to ensure that. Let your kid fail, if that is the natural result of the choices he/she made. Let them fail, watch them do it, hug them, remind them that they brought it on themselves and have only themselves to blame, and hope they learn from the experience, because if they don't learn from it, they've truly and genuinely failed.

"Don't be content with being average. Average is as close to the bottom as it is to the top."

Jane blogs as "Mamacita" at Scheiss Weekly, ( http://janegoodwin.net/ )hitting the fan like nobody can.

I don't believe that children should be guarded from failure because learning from mistakes is a valuable way to grow. I do believe that it is important to be supportive of children as they explore their world and ask questions like, "What do you think will happen?" "How would you feel if it didn't work out the way that you'd like?" "How can I help you to test this out?" It is important to teach children how to build the skills to think critically, learn from their mistakes, and accept failures for what they are... learning experiences, not the end of the world. When a child experiences failure, it is important to encourage them to get back up, think about what happened, and try again with a new approach.

Failure can build character if it isn't too intense

It depends on the child and the situation. I think it is our duty to protect our children from a certain amount of failure, but also our duty to let them experience a certain amount of it, so they can learn from the lesson offered.

I think it is important for children to learn from failures and rise above it.
Thanks for the chance.
mogrill@comcast.net

Simply put, if you shield your children from the world, they will be overwhelmed with it when they get out there into it and realize it isn't all gold and fairy dust.

No way - life is about learning from your failures. Failure also teaches them who they are as people too!

No way. I'm certainly not guarded from it. None of my adult friends are, either. She has to learn the hard lessons early in life so she doesn't come out of childhood thinking that life is a bowl of cherries! Life isn't fair; life isn't easy; and life surely does include failure.

No. If a person never experiences failure, they do not learn how to appreciate success.

I think you should do all you can to protect and instruct your children but failure is a fact of life and children should be taught how to deal with it. garrettsambo@aol.com

that children should not be sequestered from experiences. I saw an interview with Will Smith and Jada Pinkett recently, and they explained that allow their children a lot of freedom. They give them all of the responsibiltity they can handle--it is only when they show that they cannot handle that responsibility that their freedoms are curtailed at all.
In my experience, the children that are sheltered the most are the ones that, once given a taste of freedom, are the ones that act out and rebel the most. And because of their naiivite, end up getting taken advantage of.

Failure helps people grow :)

ktgonyea at gmail.com

I think they should be allowed to fail (safely) if it helps them grow, but not if it's something too hard for them to do that just causes frustration

Did you learn from your mistakes?
I did.
Did losing make you reassess your strategy?
Yes.
Can you stand up on your own two feet?
I can.
Are you self-reliant?
I am.

Thanks, Mom and Dad, for letting me learn—
from my failures.

Pinkerbelle
(a former Qwerty)

I don't think children should be guarded from failure.

No. They will never learn if you do.

No.If you never let them fail they wont know how to cope

No. If you never let them fail when something BAD does happen whe they are older it will hit them that much harder!

no let them learn

I think kids need to fail and succeed on their own. I'll protect my kids from major failures but otherwise they have to learn.

Absolutely not! Allowing a child to fail is allowing them to grow.

We all fail sometimes. so children should learn to fail as well as win

Well... I think it depends on the child. Yes, every child needs to learn to do their best and learn that sometimes failure comes before the success, but if your child is extremely sensitive, then I think the failures need to be cushioned somewhat.

There are lessons learned not just by failure but what one does after they fail.

I think that this is a yes/no question.Sometimes yes,sometimes no depends on age and situation!

That's how we as people learn. If your kids learn the value of consequences and thinking a situation out ahead of time, there will be less failure in the future when they are older :)

They will experience failure as an adult and so by experiencing failure as a child I think it will prepare them more for the future. When my child has failed a test then we encourage her to keep studying to do better.

I think this question is what it's all about...being a parent you have to decide when it's good to let them fail or when it's good to not let them fail...Each in it's own way teaches them something and they can't fail every time or they won't know they can succeed!

Children should be allowed to fail. It gives them good coping skills for adult life where there is failure.

Failures are a part of life. We learn from them and they make us stronger. So much easier said than done though when it comes to our kids.

I believe that we should give our children all the tools they need to achieve success, including an age-appropriate ability to gather their own tools for success.

I also believe that our children also have to know how to accept their current limitations and learn how to overcome them. They won't learn that, nor will they learn how to strive with their whole being, unless they are allowed to fail.

No at all. We all love to see our kids succeed but if they don't try things and sometimes fail then they won't learn anything and may be afraid to experience new things.

Guarding them from failure 100% of the time - is that even possible? :)

I almost wish that I had been taught to take more risks with my life, and accept that failure is an option to learn from, rather than fear.

no, how will they learn?

No children should not be guarded from failure, they need to learn that failure is not always a bad thing and positive can come out of it.

Life is hard and if kids think everything is going to be a bowlfull of cherries it will be a tough and depressing time for them. You want to shield them, but you can't really for everything.

Life is hard and if kids think everything is going to be a bowlfull of cherries it will be a tough and depressing time for them. You want to shield them, but you can't really for everything.

children should not be sheltered fro failure. it's a learning lesson..kids are not failures, just what they tried to do. then they can take what they learned and try again... children should always be praised for their effort, and the success of trying
something new. a good parent will reinforce their childs' effort and remind them if they want something bad enough, the CAN keep trying until they succeed. their is no problem with failure,only not to try at all.

It's so hard, but you have to let kids try things even when they fail. The consequences of failing now (when young) are small, but they learn what they need to do to succeed. Otherwise, they fail later, when the consquences of failure are more severe.

Failure is an essential part of learning and growing. If you protect them from failure when they are children, they will not know how to deal with it as adults. Thanks.

I think that children should be guarded from failure to a point. Thanks for the giveaway!

I think some failures you need to protect them from, others, they need to go through to learn from their mistakes. You can not possibly guard them from everything.

In a perfect world, everyone would be the best and there would be no losers, but that isn't they way things are. If you shield your child from failure, what are they going to do later in life, when they have been brought up to believe every thing has to be perfect and go their way all of the time and it doesn't work out like that. Encourage them for what they are good at and tell them to practice what they need to improve on the other stuff.

yes & no. They need to learn hands on about life, however they do need to be protected from possible dangerous situations.

It would truly be wonderful if we could protect our children from every negative thing in the world - even if some "negative" things are subjective. However, by sheltering them from failure, we deny them the opportunity to learn from it and become better equipped for the "real" world, where failures are a part of life.

Many thanks!

If not from your mistakes? Failure is a stepping stone, not a wall.

I say NO, failure is motivation, many people have failed and kept trying only to succeed, past anyones expectations, because the past failure gave them more of a push.

I think it depends on the age..anyone under 3,yes..anyone over 3,no

jdmimi at gmail dot com

Heck no......you have to know what it is like to fail before you can learn how to succeed. :)