The $100 Question: Tell Justice Fergie From Mamalaw About Your Worst Work-Life Balance Mistake Ever

I used to be a complete workoholic. Eventually I started losing friendships, gained weight (which I am losing now) and was way too stressed for my own good. The wake up call was when I started to get adult acne from all the stress I was putting myself under.

Since I'm a writer, it's just impossible to get anything done at home! And it's so easy to spend way too much time in front of the computer.

Now I've been going on job interviews--time for a career change. I've been trying to figure out who can watch the baby (well, she's a toddler now!) while I go out. Sometimes friends will watch her. My husband has taken her on his lunch break before--my interview lasted and hour and a half, which means I was gone for over two hours. I felt so bad since he actually is WORKING! Time for me to find a babysitter....

From December to April I work long hard hours. I work for an income tax software development/support company and tax season is horrendous. I rarely ever see my home during the daylight hours. The past three years I have juggled the births of my grandchildren with working tax season. The first born in January 2007, the second born into Heaven in April 2008, the third born in March 2009. Try taking off a few days during the peek of tax season! Luckily I work for an excellent family based company who are very flexible when it comes to family matters. My fourth grandchild is going to be my dream baby though. He's due the middle of the summer when I can actually take time off to enjoy his birth and homecoming without having to wonder if my customers are being slighted by my not being in the office.

That story goes down in history, LOL.

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http://justfergie.com ( http://www.justfergie.com/ )
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During my Med Tech internship, I was also going to classes AND preparing for my liscencing exam AND caring for my grandmother as she went through tumor-removing surgery and chemo and radiation. Some days I got so tired I thought my heart would stop or my head would explode. I even fell asleep STANDING UP more then once

When the children's nannny called me at work and asked "what's in the tupperware jug in the fridge?" I answered "rum punch". Silence on the end of the phone was followed by "I poured some into Stacey's thermos this morning". Luckily I worked close to my second graders school so I ran to my car, sped to the convenience store, purchased a juice box, hurried to her school, sprinted to her locker, found her lunch box and made a quick switch. Nobody was the wiser. I downed the rum punch, headed back to my office narrowly avoiding a DUI citation and a visit from the department of child protection! DP

Oh I got this one.

As a single mom I found myself trying to date a guy long distance, take care of my son while working full time (monday to friday) and juggle a freelance writing career.

This always meant I'd be trying to conduct phone interviews on my lunch break (sitting in my car so I wasn't using company resources) and then going home and putting my son to bed and writing until midnight, then getting up at 5:30 am to start all over again.

I was probably writing seven or eight articles a month and working 40+ hours a week at the full time job. But trying to "be there" for my son in the morning and evening as best as I could. For a while he hated my computer time as I wasn't there for him so I had to give it up and write while he slept...

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www.heather-cook.com
www.thewritingmother.blogspot.com
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When children's nanny called my office and asked what was in the tupperware container in the fridge, I answered "rum punch". Silence at the end of the phone was followed by "I poured some into Stacey's thermos this morning". Luckily I worked near my daughter's school where she was in the 2nd grade. I jumped from my desk, drove to the nearest convenience store, bought a juice box, sped to the school, ran down the hall to her locker and made a quick swap. Nobody was the wiser. I drank the rum punch and returned to my office, barely escaping arrest by the department of child protection! DP

For the past 10 years, my husband and I have had amazing careers. Five and a half years ago, I gave birth to triplets after 10+ years of trying. Almost three years ago, I gave birth to a surprise 4th baby. Since children, my husband and I have juggled our careers so we could manage all of their care. Last year, my husband was laid off. Three weeks ago, I was offered an opportunity that will move us 3K miles cross-country to be closer to family. I accepted the job, b/c my current job will be gone soon and it will mean stability for our family, the kids are older and will be starting school. Then, just last week, SURPRISE! I found out I'm expecting baby #5. Now what?? Take the job - and move - and be in an office 5 days / 50+ hours a week, or bail out and have my husband find work? For the first time, I feel like I'm faced with the decision of choosing family OR career. And struggling to figure out the balance has NEVER been more challenging for me.

ps: for those nursing/pumping moms > have you ever seen a hands free pump bra? They are an absolute must have!!

pss: Funniest thing I ever had happen with work/family balance was discovering my toddler triplets were chewing snails in the back yard while I was on a conference call. And the phone wasn't on mute, so everyone on the line heard MY gagging and choking and screaming as I told them to SPIT IT OUT!!! (It's funny now. Definitely wasn't THEN!)

Jen & The Amazing Trips

www.TheAmazingTrips.com ( http://www.TheAmazingTrips.com )

Keep 'em coming!

Here's mine (be prepared to laugh):

http://svmomblog.typepad.com/dc_metro_moms/2008/10...

Blogging at:
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http://www.justfergie.com ( http://justfergie.com/ )
http://dcmetromoms.com ( http://dcmetromoms.com/ )

Tweeting as:@JusticeFergie

I'm a police dispatcher and consequently have a job where I'm sometimes required to stay past my shift if it's busy or if the next dispatcher calls off sick and I can't find someone else to come in. I've been called in to work in the middle of the night because there was an emergency...one Sunday I ended up being ordered into work because there was a hostage situation going on and the dispatcher center was overwhelmed. Being ordered in is not "optional"..you come in or you're written up. That particular Sunday happened to be my oldest son's confirmation...I barely made it to the church, still dressed in my work uniform.

It's tough balancing work and home..I'm lucky to have a supportive husband. We try to work opposite shifts so that someone is always home with the children but there have been times when I've worked all night, come home to drive kids to school, slept until it was time to go pick them up, came home, cooked dinner, and then tried to take a nap before doing it all over again.

I've been doing freelance translation work from home since 2002, and the most ridiculous thing I remember doing was announcing to all of my clients that I was going on maternity leave for a few weeks, yet still taking assignments up to my due date. I never was one to turn down work, but it was really uncomfortable for me working at the computer that huge.

My worst work/life balance mistake was taking a job that was 35 minutes from my son's preschool, which was 25 minutes from my daughter's afterschool program, and getting off work exactly 60 minutes before she needed to be picked up.

It meant a break-neck pace from the moment I left my desk until I had signed my daughter out. The most minor inconvenience meant that I might be late getting her. Every day involved major stress. Forget it if a flake of snow fell from the sky...

~Margaret

Just Margaret ( http://maurhoffbarney.blogspot.com )

...my father shared the play-by-play via phone but I had to go on the road for BlogHer and may have missed his last basketball game ever. Sniff. He was fine with it. But Mom was not.

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette

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I work from home on the computer and I find it really hard to get Off the computer to do housework and things that need to be done around the house. Any tips on how to find balance when working at home? Thanks!

If I ended up picking up a few extra hours while working retail (I don't anymore), I would have to scramble to have someone feed my cat or otherwise use my break to drive home and feed her.

Other things can be rescheduled, but not her feeding times.

Sonja

The Mud and the Lotus ( http://www.mudandlotus.com )

I managed an American Express Travel office in our corporate account's building when my daughter was 4. I never felt like I could take time away unless it was a pre-scheduled vacation and when my daugher got the measles I brought her to work and put her in an empty office for 4 days. I still feel bad about it!

Nancy

http://teachingsundayschool.blogspot.com
http://www.abridescookbook.com/blog
http://www.givitup.com
http://onlinestoregivitup.blogspot.com
http://thenestempties.blogspot.com

About 5 years ago I was traveling toooo much for work, and my older son was also playing traveling soccer. I tried to make sure my younger son got his share of family resources, too, so we ended up with one spring week where I was to fly home from a project site in Key West on Friday afternoon to pack up for two trips: leaving Tallahassee in early AM by car for a tournament in Mississippi, and then heading to the beach for a few days of fishing especially for my younger son.

My flight in the Keys = canceled because of torrential rain.
Drive to Miami to see if I can fly out of there = no way. And no seats open for a long time, because of the backed up Spring Break weekend rained out flights.

So that I wouldn't disappoint my children I did a single mother superhero drive home, Key West to Tallahassee is about 12 hours of driving with little breaks. Coached boys and their sitter on packing via cellphone; they loaded the car while I slept for about three hours in the middle of the night, and we took off again.

Ta-da. We did it. Every obligation made.

I completely changed my work-life balance after that. Completely.

Deb Rox

3 Smart Girlz ( http://www.3smartgirlz.com/ ) consulting

Blog ( http://www.debontherocks.com/ ) like a freaking butterfly, sting like a Tweet. ( http://www.twitter.com/debontherocks )