The $100 Question: Vodkamom Asks Do You Believe Your Dreams?

I misunderstood the question. D'oh!

Never had a dream with a visit from a loved one who's died. (If I ever do, I'll believe it for sure.)

I blog over at Deckside Thoughts ( http://decksidethoughts.blogspot.com/ )

I rarely remember dreams. I have nightmares all the time and don't remember them either. Recently I woke up shaking from a too real nightmare that I remembered and couldn't shake because it felt so prescient. That's never happened before.

Nothing bad happened, so I guess I'm going with no.

I blog over at Deckside Thoughts ( http://decksidethoughts.blogspot.com/ )

I thought about including the guilt I'd had after my father passed. I think we all (well mostly all of us who suffer a pretty significant loss) go through so many different stages of grief. My father, too, was an alcoholic, and though he'd been sober for almost 15 years before he passed, he still was not used to "feelings." Most of his phone calls were talking about what the weather was like in Tennessee. (my sister and I live in California).... There were times, too, that I had intentionally forwarded his calls to voicemail. What I would give to go back and take those calls now.... I think we all learn from those things. We can't beat ourselves up (I don't think you are). I am glad that you found comfort in your dreams. Many people cannot ever let go of the anger they harbor after having kept it in for so many years....

Ashley King

but my Mom says that she does her mother (my grandmother) in her dreams. She doesn't give her advice or offer guidance, though, usually they are doing mundane things like going grocery shopping or in the garden tending to the flowers. Odd!

My sister and I had a strained relationship with my dad; he was an alcoholic and lived half-way across the country. He'd try to call every few weeks and there were times I avoided his calls in the afternoon and evening because he'd inevitably be drunk when he called. Towards the end, you couldn't even talk to him in the morning either.
He passed away two years ago from alcohol abuse. I felt guilty for all those times I avoided his calls. It wasn't long after he died that I dreamed about him and he apologized for all the hurt he caused my sister and I; it was a very healing dream because I know deep inside he really never meant to hurt us. It brought me a lot of peace whether it was really him talking to me or not.

I never have, although I have had some "dreams" that were more like visions. One was so significant and life-changing that I KNOW it wasn't just a dream. I should blog about that sometime, but it's too intense. No dead folks in it, though.

I have all kinds of crazy dreams, I used to have one about my great aunt that passed away from breast cancer when I was young and have tons of recurring dreams. Sometimes I have deja vu from dreams too!

Dream dream dreams. Dreams are amazing. I have been visited by so many people in dreams. Loved ones for sure. I can't think of a specific memory right now, but my dreams come and go. Some I remember, some I don't. Some upset me, some give me peace. Dreaming is such a powerful and strange world. Great question!

Or at least I like to think that the newborn baby in my dreams was the baby my daughter miscarried. I can see it's precious face so clearly. The little one we never got to meet, but one I have held in my dreams.

Shortly after my grandfather died of lung cancer he appeared in both my grandmother and my dreams. He was in the house just hanging out and I asked him how he was doing. He said, Im okay dear. Dont worry about me. Then smiled and that was it. I think it was him letting us know he was at peace. The same day I woke from that dream, my mom swears she saw him on the tractor out back :)

Strangely, my mother's deceased second husband has made several appearances in my dreams (as has that man's deceased first wife.) Not sure why this has happened or what it means but it did leave an impression on me.

I've been so lucky that I haven't lost anyone, really. I had 2 grandfathers pass away years before I was born. They haven't appeared in my dreams.

Both of my grandfather's visited me in my dreams after they died. It was amazing!

Kimberly writes at Outside My Head ( http://outsidemyhead.com/ ) and That's My Answer ( http://thatsmyanswer.com/ ).

I have! I lost 10 people in two years and think that my dreams often helped me cope with those losses. The most recurrent visitor I had was my best friend who continued to visit me for months in my dreams.

Krissy
Thinking-of-blue.blogspot.com

No, I can't say that's ever happened to me; anyone I've lost, I have to say I've been at peace with their passing. I believe in a life after this one, so I know they're going to a better place--maybe that's why I haven't had too many subconscious visits from friends and family lost.

Six years ago, my mother died and I was beyond devasated. It was not for a few years, but she has started visiting me in my dreams. The first was Xmas eve, and it was a dream where my little sister and I were on the couch opening presents and she was in the background. When I noticed her, I woke up.

When I was 21 I went on a mission to Italy for my church. The day after I flew to Italy, my grandma (who sent me off from the airport) suddenly had a stroke. Since it was against the rules to call home, I heard about the stroke through the mail about 3 weeks later. I was worried and so sorry that I couldn't see her.
About 2 months later, I received a letter that my grandma had passed away from pneumonia. I felt comforted that she was happy now, but so sad that I would never get to say goodbye.
That night I prayed that I would feel my grandma's presence and know that she was okay.
It felt like I was between wakefulness and sleep, but I dreamed that my grandma was sitting on the edge of my bed and rubbing my back. We didn't speak, but I was at peace.
I am so thankful for that night and I am also thankful of the wonderful memories that I have of my grandma.

I have believed for a long time that our loved ones can visit us. I had many visits from my niece during times of need. Just some examples:

When my daughter was 3, I got woke up out of a dead sleep to a voice telling me that my daughter was going to be injured, two days later she fell down the stairs and broke her arm.

Again both my mom and I were visited by my niece just before we found out my sister (her mom) was ill with a brain tumor.

I have since had similar experiences, couldn't place my finger on who it is exactly but am guessing it is my Mother-in-Law.

There is in my belief an opportunity for our loved ones to visit us.

My first boyfriend died in an auto accident when he was 19 and I was 18.

That was 35 years ago, and to this day, I occasionally have dreams about him.

Do I consider these dreams "visitations," with information that I should pay heed to in my wakeful state? No.

I believe when you're dead, you're dead - except in the memories of those you leave behind. I wish I believed otherwise -- it would be so comforting. But I don't.

My mother has been gone for 19 years and my father for 17. They both visit me frequently in my dreams. Not so oddly enough in my dreams my Dad is often rearranging my furniture. He was always trying to tell everyone what to do. And my Mom...most of her visits take place in the kitchen of the house we grew up in. It's the place where she taught my sisters and I how to cook and bake. She sewed in the kitchen, read her books in the kitchen and had heart to heart talks with all of us in the kitchen.

Just last week Mom visited me, inviting me to cross over but I very firmly indicated that I wasn't going anywhere yet. But yes it was the night before a good friend's mother's funeral so I'm sure that's why she was with me that night.

My father committed suicide January 11th. On the 12th, my husband and I flew to Texas to be with my family and attend the funeral. That first night at my grandma's house, I jolted awake, out of breath. The only thing I remember now was a bright flash of light right before I awoke, and the feeling of his presence in my dream. And I don't mean just a dream about him because I've had dreams about relatives and friends who have passed away, and personally, I don't think that means anything more than any other dream. It's just one's unconscious doing its thing. This dream was unlike any I've had; it was like he was there.

I'm not a religious person. As much as I'd like to think there's something beyond life, I've always figured that once we draw our last breath, we're all just wormfood, so that majorly freaked me the hell out to the nth degree.

 Lee Ann Thill

The Butter Compartment ( http://www.thebuttercompartment.com )
Where Do You Keep Your Insulin?

My grandmother visited me one night shortly after her death. She was radiant. I hurried out of bed and hugged her. She told me everything was fine and to tell my mother (her daughter) hello. It is such a comforting memory. Whether or not it was a dream doesn't really matter, does it?
I blogged about it here:

http://barbarashallue.typepad.com/musing_in_long_h...

Barbara Shallue writes about her life at http://barbarashallue.typepad.com and is contributing editor of http://jobs4autism.com.

My pet guinea pig died last year.. I miss the little guy.. I dream about him every so often. It's nice

I love my dreams.. Yes, I have been visited by loved ones that are gone. My mother passed away almost 5 years ago, and I dream about her almost every night! I love her and miss her a lot and I love dreaming about her!

I have not had these dreams, but I so wish I could. I've pleaded with my Momma to come visit with me. My cousin has been visited by her brother, who died of an accidental overdose in December of 2004. He actually broke the case to her, and gave her details of the night of his death that weren't revealed by proof until the month following his death. he died alone, in his jeep, unable to communicate overnight. He tried several times to call his mom, but couldn't get all of the numbers dialed. The bill a the next month actually showed this to be true. Each time he called the first 4-5 numbers. He told them who gave him the drug that he took, and everything.

~~>~@ Brooke @~<~~

By the Brooke Photography ( http://www.bythebrookephotography.com )

My Blog ( http://shutterflymomma.blogspot.com )

I've never lost anyone close to me. My mother-in-law frequently dreams with family members who have passed. But they never impart anything terribly insightful. Once a long departed uncle gave her a telephone number to call, upon waking she did, only to have a long pointless conversation with an absolute stranger she never spoke to again.

My oldest brother Buster was shot when he was 27 and became a quadriplegic. He died at 34, and soon afterwards I saw him standing - STANDING - at the foot of my bed. Yes, probably a dream, but very real and comforting.
I blogged about him here:

http://barbarashallue.typepad.com/musing_in_long_h... ( http://barbarashallue.typepad.com/musing_in_long_h... )

Barbara Shallue writes about her life at http://barbarashallue.typepad.com and is contributing editor of http://jobs4autism.com.

I have! My best friend lost her sister in the earthquake in Haiti, she couldn't get in touch with them, the night before she knew about her death, I had a dream abt her, she was so pretty, glowing I started yelling at her: where have you been? your sister is worried sick abt you and you out here looking like you just step outta a magazine! she smile and say tell her I'm ok. and the next day she got the phone call that shes been dead for 2 days!

I always wonder what that mean?
Fun and inspiring thoughts of a Working mom on career, entrepreneurship, raising kids, healthy living, marriage and everything in between. ( http://supermomplace.com/ )

My grandfather passed away about 10 years ago and his fortune went to his much younger, second wife despite some suspicious things. I never saw a dime even though things were left to me. (Long story.)

Anyway, I had a dream about 2 years ago that I was in a car. I looked in the passenger seat and it was my grandfather. He was crying and said to me, "I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to be this way." The next month I got a call from the executor of the will telling me I would be able to collect a large sum of money my grandfather left to me.

Amazing.

Michelle from six in the city ( http://www.mysixinthecity.blogspot.com )

I see my friend Sarah every now and again. She died at 23 of brain cancer. She comes into my dreams and I ask her questions about heaven and she laughs at me, like "oh come ON lina, that's not how it works!"

Oh, I miss you Sarah.

http://www.thewildercoast.com

I've heard that when a loved one who has passed, comes and visits in a dream, it's for real and I love to believe that!

The clearest dream I've had like that was a couple of years ago when I dreamed of my grandparents, both who have passed on. I spent a lot of time at my grandparents, growing up and a few years before their deaths, my uncle remodeled their house for them and it is barely recognizable, but they loved it, I miss the old house that held so many happy memories.

Anyways, back to my dream.....one night I dreamed that I was back at my grandpa and grandmas and we were all flying around the house, literally flying room to room, back in the house the way it was before it was remodeled. It was the best dream and I awoke feeling like I had just shared an adventure with my grandparents...haven't had one of them since :(

http://monroega.blogspot.com/

I think that our dreams are the gateway to the spiritual world and I am lucky to be visited by loved ones. It gives me solace to know that they are waiting on the other side :)

I don't know if it was my imagination or not, but at one point, during the custody battle I had with my ex, I think grandma came to me and she told me to never let go of my girl. I woke up crying and feeling her presence. It really felt as if she WAS there. I could even smell her perfume.
Love you Grandma and Thank you
xxx

Anne Morand

Freelance Writer

Household Engineer

I've never had it happen - but my husband has, thank goodness.
Twice during our marriage, his father showed up in his dreams and gave him solid advice about trusting me and letting me be there for him.

I believe very much that it happens.

Lucretia

Raising a child in a digital world, still a digital girl

My grandmother passed away in January, two days after my birthday. She was 91 and had battled Alzheimer's for over 10 years -- in the last few years, she was totally unable to communicate, though I still visited weekly and tried to make her laugh.

In the week after her death, I had several dreams about her. In each one, she was totally coherent, and I was aware that I didn't have long to visit with her. The main point she made in each one -- it was so clear that I woke up smiling and in tears -- was that she wanted me to remember her as she was; smiling, laughing, smart, lovely, and kind.

And I do.

Kristen

www.jeez-o-petes.com ( http://www.jeez-o-petes.com )

I never knew how I felt about the passing of our loved ones. I wondered where they'd gone after they passed, or if their body and soul lie 6 feet underground and there was just nothing more to it.

That was until my father passed away in 2007. I was in a not-so-healthy relationship. I wasn't being physically abused, nor was I being put down emotionally. I was with an addict. Someone who was never satisfied with anything. He always wanted more of everything he had, including money and women....

I was the last one to see this, BUT I did finally find out about the other women and the lack of money, and the attempt to get it back, and then some.

I don't like to preach, nor did I know how I felt about praying myself, but I figured that it couldn't hurt. I'd lie in bed at night, thinking about the conversations I'd have with my father if he were here. I felt like I was having these conversations with him, and I even imagined what he'd say back to me.

A few nights later, I dreamt of him. I dreamt he was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I had my head on his lap, just sobbing, uncontrollably. I had my arms wrapped around his waist, telling him how much I'd missed him since he was gone. He was rubbing my back and telling me that he knew it was hard, all that I was going through, including missing him. He went on to talk about my uncle, which I really don't remember much about, and how they were golfing like crazy, and their mother (my grandmother) would sip lemonade under an umbrella and watch them golf. Everything was SOOO detailed! I cried and told him about my relationship with David (at the time) and he said, "Now, you already know what I'd say...."

That was all I'd needed.

I CLEARLY remember waking up the next morning, and rolling over next to David, and feeling COMPLETELY different towards him. It was like night and day. The day before, I'd struggled about my feelings for him, and what I should do. That morning, I knew, I was done. I checked out emotionally, and moved out shortly after. Ever since then, I have conversations with my father, often; sometimes just telling him about my day and how I wish he could be here with me, other times asking for advice. He doesn't visit me everytime I'd like, but he has visited my dreams since then.... Usually just letting me know that he's doing okay....

I usually don't tell people, except my stepmother. I think it's just a fear that people might think you're crazy. Before this, I might have been one of those people thinking I was crazy too....

Ashley King

No, but I wish I had!

Nancy

http://teachingsundayschool.blogspot.com
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