13 Songs My Parents Probably Shouldn't Have Let Me Listen To as a Kid

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5. "Bump N' Grind" by R. Kelly

Before R.Kelly started peeing on people, he was a pretty decent R&B star. One of his catchiest songs is "Bump N' Grind," and let's all face it, we sang along, and grinded our hips into the air as we sang. I don't even need to post specific lyrics here, the whole song made things a little awkward when it came on the radio while you were riding somewhere with your parents. Your mind was telling you to not to sing, but your body, your body was telling you yes. One of my favorite scenes from the movie Without a Paddle, has the song in it. I love this movie, and the cave part makes me laugh every single time.

6. "I Wanna Sex You Up" by Color Me Badd

Tick-tock, you don't stop... I remember secretly listening to this song, locked in my room, and turning the radio off real quick if I heard my parents walking anywhere near my door. The whole song is censorship worthy, but my favorite lyric has to be, "We can do it 'til we both wake up." WTF? Is someone falling asleep while they are having sex? If so, I'm sure she won't be back for more, buddy. I always liked how people got all up in arms about this song, but Boyz II Men's "I'll Make Love to You" flew under the radar. Is it because Color Me Badd just wanted to drink wine and have their way with you, but Boyz II Men wanted to make it all sweet and sensual by adding emotion? I want to note, for the record, that I actually remembered that the Badd had 2 d's in it. That's the nerdd in me...

7. "Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aguilera

Before Christina's "Dirrty" phase, she was sweet and innocent, singing about genies, bottles, and "You gotta rub me the right way." Wait, what? Double entendre, anyone? I will say that you have to give her props in this song; she does say that, "Hormones racing at the speed of light, but that don't mean it's gotta be tonight," encouraging kids to wait on sex. This is a far cry from her next album's song, "Dirrty", where she was then preaching, "Let's get dirrty, I need that to get me off, Sweatin' until my clothes come off." Somebody lost their virginity between albums #1 and #2...

8. "Freak Like Me" by Adina Howard

So, the name itself should have been a huge indicator that the song was probably not appropriate for young ears, but did that stop you from listening to it? Hell no. It's starting up in your head right now, isn't it? "Cause I will be a freak until the day, until the dawn, And we can pump pump all through the night, 'Til the early morn." Catchy as hell. And, you can't forget about my favorite line, "I will take you around the 'hood on a gansta lean," 'cause you know all the white girls in suburbia (like me) knew all about gangsta leanin' in the hood... And about the dog in me...

9. "Possum Kingdom" by Toadies

This song, at first glance, is just slightly suspicious. There's nothing in it really that screams inappropriate... at first. In fact, when I was telling Hubby about this post I was writing, and brought up "Possum Kingdom," he argued with me that it wasn't inappropriate... until I ran over the lyrics with him. This song, in a nutshell, is about a guy taking a girl behind the lakehouse and killing her. I'll summarize for you: "Behind the boathouse, I'll show you my dark secret...I can promise you, You'll stay as beautiful, With dark hair, and soft skin, forever... Be my angel, Be my angel, Do you wanna die?... So help me Jesus." Your jaw just dropped open, didn't it? You've been singing that since your teenage years, belting out, "Give it up to me," with no idea that dude was killing someone, haven't you? Tricky, tricky, that 90s alternative music.

10. "Red Light Special" by TLC

I know every girl had this scenario happen: "Creep" and "Waterfalls" came out, and you really liked those songs, so you (or your parents) bought the "CrazySexyCool" CD, because TLC seemed to be a pretty decent band. Then, in the privacy of your own bedroom, you listened to the entire CD, to have "Red Light Special" catch your attention immediately. Suddenly, your new CD needed to be hidden from your parents, because if they actually paid attention to the lyrics to that song, they'd take it away from you in a heartbeat. Here are some highlights: "I'll let you touch it if you'd like to go down, I'll let you go further if you take the southern route," "If you want it tonight, Just come through my door, Take off my clothes, And turn on the red light," and my personal favorite, "If I move too fast just let me know, 'Cause it means you move too slow." Damn. It's like that, huh?


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