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THE WORLD: Through Mom-Colored Glasses
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Summer Embee is a writer/editor, wife and mom, not necessarily in that order. She tries to be funny and her kid actually is funny, so her blog may ha...
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16 Ways Husband and Child Can Give Mommy a New Twitch

March 29, 2010 11:34 am by summer_embee in Family
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  • Take a dirty plate into the kitchen and teeter it on the smelly stuff already in the sink.
  • Tell her you want another baby.
  • Tell her you don’t want another baby.
  • When asked if she looks like she’s still pregnant in this outfit, pause before answering. Squint. Then say no.
  • If she stays at home, ask what she does all day.
  • If she works, ask what she does all day.
  • Shove the pile of mail and toys just far enough down the couch that you can sit down. Let a few things fall onto the floor. Do not pick them up.
  • Ask what’s for dinner.
  • Yell “Mommy, change your shirt! I don’t like that one!” Mommy may elect to stand her ground but she’ll walk around all day wondering if her kid has a point.
  • Tell her you don’t like eggs after she’s made them per your request.
  • Cry so hard you barf.
  • Put magnets on everything metal in the house.
  • Shout “watch my magic trick” every 35 seconds: Perform some basic physical skill you mastered six months ago.
  • Stick something up your nose. Really far.
  • Take your underwear off but don’t tell Mommy. Expose yourself at the park.
  • Eat boogers.

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