2 weeks out of back surgery

I wanted to start out by saying I’m doing pretty good and I’m progressing better than I thought I would. The roughest part of the surgery was the part where the anatesgloist had to put an IV in my jugular vain because I have no other veins that would hold up for the IV”s. I still have hard times with stairs  and riding in cars, so right now I’m only allowed tp drive short distances and walk short amounts each day. I was also sacred of getting back in the habit of using pain meds again but so far with my family standing behind me I have done really well. Now don’t get me wrong the longer I took them the more I wanted them. It was really hard to start with. Being a pill head is a tuff road. Ok enough about that lets move on!!!

Jesse got to stay at home and take care of me while I was down and that ment a lot because I’m not the easiest person to live with when I’m in pain. Bless his heart he tried to keep the house clean, but I like things done a certain way and he just does things how ever he wants and that drives me crazy!!! But I gave him an A for effort. He was a prince he waited on me hand and foot and even spent the night in the hospital. Which was good because I freaked out when they had to put a main Iv line in my juggler vein. (my veins are tiny and blow so easy) I was stuck a total of 10 times before the decided to do a main line in my neck, but I must admit it sure did the IV meds kicked in a lot faster in my neck LOL.

I can tell I am coming off the pain pills because I’m crying and I’m down in the dumps more so that usual and I do not want to be alone and my body just feels out of wack .My skin is crawling and it just about all I can think about. It’s hard to try to keep control. I keep getting upset with myself because I am weak and and I’m letting these feelings bother me. I never in a million years would have dreamed that I would have become an addict back in 2009 when the pain clinic prescribed med pain meds and methadone. I mean I was in Law enforcement I knew better, but when you are in so much pain you cant function you become another beast .

I beat the methadone addiction in 2110 so I know I can beat this 6 week pain meds usage as well/

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