The 2008 Emmy Awards: DVR Shortcut Recap
Television's biggest night had drama, pathos, and naked people on the stage...well, maybe not naked people on the stage, but I got your attention didn't I?
Last night was the 2008 Emmy Awards and since I never believe in watching the show in real time, I use Megan's Patented DVR Shortcut Method. How it works is I start watching the recorded show about an hour and a half before the live show ends, then I try to click through fast enough to finish watching the DVR version just as the live show ends.
That way, you watch three hours worth of inane speeches and bad hosting jokes in an hour and a half. It's a better viewing value. On with the show.
First some quick fashion hits from E!'s red carpet coverage:
Out in front of the Nokia Theatre, there's Ryan Seacrest. I'm dreading those five hosts already.
Heidi Klum is taller than all four of her co-hosts. If you're a man, does hosting a reality show mean you have to be shorter than 5'5"?
Chandra Wilson, from "Grey's Anatomy" looks magnificent in black with red shoes and retro 50's hair.
Sandra Oh's also in black, but her dress is a lovely lacy, Oscar De La Renta.
Sandra's appalled when Seacrest asks her to bring Mom up on stage. "What's your Mom's name?" he asks.
Ashley Jensen from "Ugly Betty" looks like she has a g-string around her neck.
There's "13," Olivia Wilde from "House." Everyone's doing that "throw the hair up in a loose bun" thing, but she's the first to pull it off. When she smiles she looks like a Cover Girl model.
Mariska Hargitay has Sarah Palin hair. Does that mean she's a Republican?
Teri Hatcher's in a yellow, strapless gown with ruffles at the neck and down the front.
Debra Messing's with Seacrest now. Her husband is nominated. Who is he? We'll never know because Seacrest doesn't ask her. Strapless is big this year and she's no exception. Very pretty.
Vanessa Williams is in a dress that's like a white canvas with an abstract expresionist painting on it. I like it 'cause it's different. Her hair is elegant and neat looking.
America Fererra is in strapless black, short number, with red Rita Hayworth lipstick and wavy 50's hair. Also very glam shoes.
Kristin Chenoweth looks very pretty. I call her Chen-now-with, they call her Chin-no-with.
Patrick Dempsey, McDreamy himself, is arriving and looking very McDream-a-licious. Sorry Blayne.
Mary Louise Parker from "Weeds." She's in a weird shade of blue and looks like a vamp from "True Blood" got to her. Red carpet done.
I'm skipping Jimmy Kimmel's Barbara Walters Special parody show. Not interested.
They start the show with current TV stars saying classic lines from classic shows. It's hit and miss. Why didn't they just show clips of the real characters saying the lines. Duh!
My girl Oprah opens the show and she's wearing a red gown with major cleavage. Overall, not the most flattering dress though.
She's like, "Welcome...TV wonderful...inspire, entertain...blah, blah...not easy times in the world of TV"---reference to the writers' strike?
Then Oprah introduces the five hosts alphabetically and out they come. Tom Bergeron, Heidi Klum, Howie Mandel, Jeff Probst and Ryan Seacrest. Heidi Klum's in a tux. She's looks great. Probst isn't wearing a tie and looks extremely hot. Short, but hot.
The opening is truly dumb. Something about how they have nothing special to say. Howie Mandel is an idiot. Best line, Probst has "never hosted a show that has indoor plumbing."
William Shatner's on stage and he and Bergeron rip off Heidi's tux to reveal sparkle, hot pants outfit. O-Okay.
The woman of the hour, Tina Fey comes out with Amy Poehler to present Supporting Actor in A Comedy. They show stills of previous winners as they intro to the clips. The five nominees are then in five screens behind the stage. That works, good idea.
And the winner is...Jeremy Piven. Don't watch "Entourage," don't care. Doogie Howser was robbed.
Click through Seacrest and Bergeron in Seinfeld diner set. They show a clip from "The Contest." Saw it already...click...click...
These long clips are going to mean no acceptance speeches when the big awards come up. I hate that.
Julia Louis Dreyfus is standing in front of the deli set. Looks weird. She's giving Supporting Actress in a Comedy. Winner: Jean Smart for "Samantha Who." I don't watch it but I like Jean Smart.
"I have a tuxedo on under this dress, but I'm not ripping it off." Now that's a good adlib. She should host this show. I'm behind. Gotta catch up. Click...click...
Clip of "Desperate Housewives," and then, there they are all seated on a couch like in a Vanity Fair photo.
It's Best Supporting Actor in a Drama. If William Shatner wins this again, I'm gonna be sick.
And the winner is...Zeljko Ivanek! Mr. Deep Fried Southern Charm himself. Wow! And now I know how to pronounce his name. It's Jel-ko.
His acceptance speech: loved doing "Damages," and thanks "especially Glenn Close and Ted Danson 'cause I'd be watching this at home without you both."
Ricky Gervais! I like him. He won last year but wasn't there. So far, he's the funniest of the night. Have him host next year.
He intros first funny clip reel of the show. It's of previous winners. Jackee Harry from "227" says "I wonder if I get paid more money for this."
Click....Nominees for Directing Variety or Music, the guy who's directing the Emmys wins and directs himself accepting for winning...very strange.
Click...click...right past Conan O'Brien...Supporting Actress in A Drama...Dianne Wiest for "In Treatment." She ain't there. If you ain't there, you shouldn't get it. Sorry Ricky.
Even though I love writers, I click through Writers for Variety, Comedy or Musical...it's "The Colbert Report." Don't watch it. Don't care.
Steve Martin salutes the Smothers Brothers. Don't remember the Smothers Brothers. Martin used to write on it? Okay enough of this....click.... Tommy Smothers is channeling Johnny Carson. Half of the audience is like, who's the grey haired old guy?
Josh Groban's up. I like him but, what the...? Is he going to sing TV theme songs? Yes, he is. "Friends," "Happy Days," "Mister Rogers," theme!? Who knew Groban could do voices? Best one is from "The Jeffersons" with the choir. Not bad. Kinda fun.
Laura Linney wins for Best Actress in Mini-Series for "John Adams." I saw part of "JA" and Linney was very good, but Phylicia Rashad should have won. Tom Hanks and Rita are there applauding, I think Hanks produced "John Adams."
I've got forty-five minutes left...I better book it....click...
Heidi changed outfits again. Now she's wearing a tiger rug.
Angel, er I mean David Boreanz and some unknown girl are giving out Writing in a Comedy Series. Who is it? Tina Fey.
If there was any reason to believe that there shouldn't be a category for best reality host, it's the five of these hosts trying to make this dumb idea work.
Thirty minutes left...Martin Sheen...Academy Guy....click....click...
Best Made For TV Movie and there's Christian Slater and Christina Applegate. You just know everybody's looking to see if they can spot her reconstructive surgery.
I didn't say I was doing that! I said everybody else was. Don't blame the messenger.
Winner is "Recount." A lovely woman in a gorgeous brown dress, Paula Weinstein?---yep, Paula Weinstein, accepts the award.
I click past Probst on the "Dragnet" set. That leads to William Peterson and Laurence Fishburne co-presenting Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Mini-Series. Fishburne is in a red jacket. Not traditional, but striking.
The winner is...Tom Wilkinson. I knew it, he's British and a movie actor. He's not there either.
Stewart and Colbert present Best Mini-Series Directing. The winner, Jay Roach of "Recount" wants us to go out and vote.
Howie is talking about how he was on "St. Elsewhere" Now that was an excellent show. That was also when Howie could actually act. Howie, what happened?
Clip of "M.A.S.H." Click...click...
Sandra Oh and Patrick Dempsey are presenting Supporting Actress in a Mini-Series. It's Eileen Atkins and she ain't there either. What is this, a boycott?
Kathy Griffin and her awful looking hair come out with Don Rickles. The funniest part is when she orders the audience to salute Rickles and "GET UP!!" Heh.
Best Reality Show Winner: "The Amazing Race." That's six in a row.
No time left: Best Mini-Series award given by Sally Field to Tom Hanks who played her son in "Forrest Gump." There's some pre-programmed synergy for you. Hanks won for "John Adams."
Outstanding Variety Performance goes to Don Rickles. He can still walk on to the stage and because they're scared Kathy will come after them again, the audience gets up quickly. Jeremy Piven is like, who is he?
Rickles best line? How his wife is so wealthy now, she "sits in Malibu on the sand with the jewelry, signaling ships." His wife doesn't seem to find that funny.
Click...click...Directing for a Drama winner is Greg Yaitanes, for "House." He used to direct "Alias" and "Lost" among other things so I'm happy for him.
Best Writing for a Drama: Matthew Weiner, "Mad Men."
And the winner is: "Lost" or "Damages" would be amazing......"Mad Men!"
I'm okay with that.
After the break Probst comes back to tell us that the reality show host winner was going to host the rest of the Emmy show. Then he says goodnight. Mercifully.
Unfortunately I went ten minutes past the end of the live Emmy show, but I still consider that a viewing victory.
All in all, a crappy show, but some excellent and deserving winners. Not one total ripoff in the bunch.
The Bare Skinny has more on the Emmy fashions.
Janet At Blindie.com has her Top Ten Emmy Moments.
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Megan Smith is a BlogHer Contributing Editor covering Television and YouTube and she thinks the Emmy Award statuette is the classiest of all the major entertainment awards. Her other blogs are Megan's Minute: quirky commentary around the clock, and Video Runway.