The 2012 Garbage Can Attack

Summer is coming and school will be out soon. This means the teachers get a break and we (parents and police) work harder. Every year we have what’s known as the senior prank which happens in the weeks preceding graduation. Our police department waits with bated breath to see what this year’s class will come up with.

In a much earlier blog post, I mentioned the most famous of the dastardly deeds as being the great tire caper. Some industrious youths dropped tires over the tallest flagpole in town. Trying to figure out how the kids managed to scale the pole with large tires became an unsolved mystery for our department and the teenagers responsible never talked.

This season the PD kept vigilance throughout town in hopes of discovering a clue to this year’s follies. Well, we failed again and as much as the tire caper was legendary, I think the Class of 2012 topped it.

I was on my day off or I would have taken a picture of the display that greeted several of my fellow officers as they tried to overcome the laughter of every car driving past. During the night, more than three hundred garbage cans were placed five feet apart down our Main Street sidewalks on both sides of the road.

The stolen confiscated cans belonged to residents throughout town. Each police officer was chosen as a victim and only our trash receptacles were decorated with ribbons and signs.

Phone calls began flooding dispatch as early as 5 in the morning. Hundreds of residents went to place their large blue plastic bins on the side of the road for pickup and discovered themselves targets of the trash heist. The garbage company was notified and brought citizen records to identify each can number to its owner.
My Trash via Class 2012
I was informed at 7 am that I needed to come and get my garbage which I had placed out the evening before. No one has come forward as a possible witness and like years past “mum” is the word on the streets. I felt sorry for the duty officers having to sort and call everyone but I couldn’t help my laughter when I arrived to pick up my container.

Class of 2012, I bow to your industrious thinking and I’m not sure if this country is ready for how you will change the future one piece of garbage genius at a time, but I am. Congratulations!


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