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Brittany Gibbons is a writer, humorist,  and catalyst.   Mostly known for her satirical wit and self deprecation, Brittany first gain...
 
 
 
 

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2012 Golden Globes Recap: Surprises, Upsets and Erections?

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I will admit, nothing excites me more than a night on the couch with wine, sweatpants and cold left-over fried chicken, watching Hollywood glitz and glamor, and the Golden Globes are no exception.

Unlike the People's Choice Awards which mean nothing, the Golden Globes are the pre-cursor to the Oscars, and if you enjoy some healthy award show betting, this is the kind of frivolous crap you live for.

First, I simply must discuss Ricky Gervais. Aside from the fact that he is getting considerably slimmer by the second, and his red and black tuxedo made him look like an extra from the set of The Sopranos, Gervais was...not half bad.

I remember last year's trainwreck of a hosting performance, and I've seen Ghost Town and The Invention of Lying, so I can confidently say, Ricky Gervais is not awesome at doing American funny things.

But this year, he was a bit safer, which forced him to be a bit sharper with his wit, and for me it paid off.

In fact, one of my favorite Gervais moments of the night was when he bantered with co-star Johnny Depp about his horrific film, The Tourist (sidenote: Johnny Depp just speaks like Captain Jack Sparrow full time now? Are we all supposed to act normal about it?).

Second only to when, after going after Madonna's virginity, she invited him on stage to kiss her, stating she hadn't kissed a girl in a while, sending him sprinting across the backstage in fear. It was funny and improvised, and it's those moments of the more casual Globes that I adore.

Seth Rogen's erection anyone? Best part of the show.

On to the fashion. Sure, there were some standouts. Michelle William's adorable headband, Tena Fey's gorgeous wine colored gown, Zooey Deschanel's sideburns, and Meryl Streep's banana clip.

Also, whoever punk'ed Angelina Jolie and Natalie Portman by telling them the evening was Bridesmaids themed, and to wear the most hideous past bridesmaid gown they were ever made to don, ever...high five. It was you Melissa McCarthy, wasn't it?

But, aside from all that excitement, the color of the night seemed to be...flesh? Katharine McPhee, Charlize Theron, Heidi Klum, Amy Poehler, Jessica Biel, Diane Lane, Julie Bowen, Kate Beckinsale, Kristen Wiig, Amanda Peet...what is going on here exactly? This is supposed to be fun and flashy, and instead, these women showed up looking like giant fingers.

And also, why were people orange? How is that still happening?

My fashion favorites for the night were Octavia Spencer in a lavender Tadashi Shoji, with ruching to die for. Emma Stone in a wine colored Lanvin, honestly, there is just nothing about this woman that doesn't sizzle. Mila Kunis in a black Dior gown, because, really, Jackie Burkhart who? And lastly, Chris Colfer, in a black tux with a skinny tie. His hair was amazing, I already emailed the photo to my husband, it will be his new look.

Honorable mention goes to Diana Argon. I am not entirely sure what she had going on there in that screaming red gown, but I think I liked it?

The night was full of wtf? moments for me, as almost none of my picks walked away with awards.

Laura Dern taking it for Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy for Enlightened (is anyone actually watching that?) over Zooey Deschanel, Meryl Streep overtaking Viola Davis for Best Actress in a Motion Picture, and Homeland owning the night, taking home Best Drama Series (over Boardwalk Empire, really?) and star Claire Danes taking home Best Actress in a Drama.

I was shocked, but not disappointed, to see the night not overtaken by last year's favorites, like Modern Family, though they did walk away with a lone Best Comedy Series award at the end of the night.

An especially big high five to Peter Dinklage for his Game of Thrones Best Supporting Actor win, he's on my laminated list.

Click here for a complete list of winners.

The entire night has me deeply rethinking my Oscar predictions, especially as far as The Help and Ides of March are concerned.  (Mental note: See The Artist, it looks divine.)

(L-R) Producer Thomas Langmann, actors Missi Pyle, JEAN DUJARDIN, director Michel Hazanavicius, actors Berenice Bejo and Penelope Ann Miller (Credit Image: © Joe White/Globe Photos/ZUMAPRESS.com)

How did you fare in your Golden Globe predictions? Any upsets? Fashion falters? Moments to remember?

____________

Brittany Gibbons

I say funny things.

BarefootFoodie.com

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Carmen Tourney 8 pts

Loved Ricky's God joke. It was my favorite of the night. Even more so than the Jodie Foster joke. For anyone who doesn't already know it, Gervais is a dyed in the wool atheist. So here's the joke if you missed it. He said that the celeb's that were accepting awards were thanking way too many people. If he was accepting an award he would only need to thank two people. His agent and God! Why? Because they both have had the same effect on his career. LOL. I'm so sure he's his agent's favorite client right about now. :)

JChandler 12 pts

The only reason for tuning in initially was for Ricky Gervais, whose humour is intelligent and you can't beat watching him send all the egos into a tailspin. The Golden Globes just doesn't do it for me. Maybe it is because sometimes I would rather buy into the cultivated public persona of these actors than be exposed to some of the shallowness or stupidity that really makes up their personality. Thankfully there are always some presenters and receivers that make up for that.

Brittany Gibbons 8 pts

Also, I forgot to mention this, but Madonna's speech for Best Composer...HORRIFIC.

She won for a (mediocre) song for HER film, that she simply didn't have time to write while directing and editing HER film, but here she is, beating out all the other people who probably worked super hard on their songs, with her frivolous last minute song. For HER film. In case that wasn't clear.

Also I felt bad for her breasts.

CarrieES 5 pts

Loved Clooney...I always do! Here's the rest of my thoughts on the show:

http://carriemotherhood.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-lov...

kdwald 7 pts

I didn't watch. I didn't pay attention to the tweets. And I have no idea what those flesh-colored dresses looked like, but I loved the "they looked like fingers" line. Made me laugh out loud. Thanks. I needed that!

raenovate 6 pts

i think the biggest upset was that ryan gosling wasn't in attendance.

MamaSchinsky 5 pts

Was I the only person who was TOTALLY awkwarded out by Meryl's acceptance speech where she was very obviously getting the death glare from Viola Davis? And OMG Tilda Swinton is terrifying to look at.

Also, Octavia Spencer's dress was BEYOND gorgeous, and her acceptance speech had me nearly bawling.

wa_tracy 9 pts

What about Sarah Michelle Geller's dress?!?! I'm no fashionista, but that was terrible.

Brittany Gibbons 8 pts

wa_tracy No joke, when she came out to present, with her pony tail pulled back too forcefully, with this huge scary smile, she looked FRIGHTENING.

bluebonnetbaker 5 pts

The things I could not get over with this year's show are a) the set looked 70s Cruise Ship-tastic 2) Who the EFF organized the tables? Should there not have been one walkway at least for these stars to get up to the stage? It looked SO awkward!

Brittany Gibbons 8 pts

bluebonnetbaker Yes. Watching them like, maze their way up there was ridiculous. Perhaps THAT was why they were so behind in time.

Jane Collins 74 pts

Thank you VERY much for mentioning Johnny Depp's weird pirate/Irish accent. Totally bizarre and I thought I was going nuts when I mentioned it to a Johnny worshipping sister and she hadn't even noticed it. Great recap of of my favorite kind of TV..."live", glitzy and filled with cringe worthy moments!

Morgan Shanahan 15 pts

I refuse to act normal about Johnny Depp's Madonna accent. REFUSE.

Brittany Gibbons 8 pts

Morgan Shanahan And where the fuck were all his bracelets?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH REALITY RIGHT NOW!?

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Alivia Moonstone
Alivia Moonstone

I am glad Kate Winslet won!