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The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way.
~Judith Martin
A funny thing happens in the summer when the college kids return. In the beginning of the summer, when you are glad to see them home, you may chuckle about the ways they have changed and the pseudo-adult habits they have acquired while at school. But after a very little while this oh-I'm-going-out-at-one-a.m.-to-none-of-your-business-where-Can-I-borrow-the-car-and-can-I-get-some-money routine gets real old! And after a few short weeks and some heated text messages between you, the new, less romantic kind of mid-summer madness takes over. Pretty soon, everyone is counting down the days until school starts again!
I know this is not just happening in my household because my husband came home from grocery shopping this evening, having run into two friends of ours.He was a little amazed and overwhelmed because both friends immediately complained about the drama unfolding in their homes, too. He said their exasperation was the top of the conversation, as if they were all escaping to the grocery store to find each other and commiserate! The question on everybodys' lips, what do we do with the Frankensteins we have created?
In light of this reality, I have decided to reprint the following post that I wrote 2 years ago. I offer it as hope, and comfort...with the upmost compassion and empathy for all of us parents questioning what we did to end up here. And how it is that we are experiencing such a profound generational misunderstanding about what growing up means--what work ethic and true independence and fundamental respect are supposed to look like. I hope this helps!
21 is the New 16: Launching or Re-Launching an Adult Child
I am sitting on the cold, stiff, white paper-covered stirrup chair in my OB/GYN’s exam room. I am there for my annual check-up. She delivered all of my children and she has taken liberties with my body in furtherance of its care that I do not much like to think about. So we know each other fairly well. She is a personable, but a very busy, woman. Her exams are thorough but efficient, with no time for dilly-dally. After the usual battery of examinations and questions, she asks her exit question, “Everything seems great. How is your stress level?”
Most years, I say, “Oh, not too bad…considering life!” And she, most years, chuckles and shakes her head with understanding as she says goodbye and backs out of the door. But this year, I say, “Funny you should
