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Once or twice a month I get an email from an aspiring activist, social entrepreneur, or nonprofit professional who has just moved to the Bay Area and wants to set up a phone call to discuss the Bay Area's, "social change scene." I usually agree to the calls. My one requirement is that they send me 3-5 questions beforehand that they want to discuss during our half hour chat. Recently, a young woman sent me questions that were different than the kind I usually receive. They went beyond, "Where can I find a job?" to, "How do I live my life?" I thought I'd share some of my answers with you, and hope you'll add yours in the comments as well.
1. What are the 3 most common mistakes (the kind that serve as a barrier in achieving your big picture dream) you see people making?
a. Not realizing that "for sure" doesn't exist.
There are very few things in life that are 100% guaranteed, which is scary, but if you have a big dream for your future, chances are achieving it will involve taking some risks and leaps of faith. There will never be a guarantee that you will succeed, but on the bright side, there will never be a guarantee that you will fail! Even if you feel like you need more experience, more skills, more time, more money, more confidence, more whatever before you can pursue your dream, take a step, even if it is a small one, towards your dreams.
b. Not breaking big dreams down into small actions.
People can feel so overwhelmed by their big visions that they become paralyzed. Breaking down what you want to do into small, manageable actions can help you move through your paralysis. Also, taking action often provides answers to questions that thinking will never provide. I thought I wanted to be a massage therapist, until I took a class and realized on the first day that I had to touch hairy, naked people I didn't know! Needless to say, I did not pursue that path.
c. Not balancing planning and flexibility.
Some people are very flexible. They live on intuition and instinct and can change their plans on a moments notice, but if you don't mix some planning in with instinct, you'll spend all of your time putting out fires and taking opportunities that may not ultimately lead you to your goal. Other people are planners. They map out every step that will take them to realize their vision. Unfortunately, things don't always go according to plan, especially if you are starting something new, and you need to be able to come up with alternative solutions and course corrections, or you'll become frustrated and burned out very quickly. To succeed, you'll need to balance flexibility and planning.
2. What are the fundamental rules you live by (the ones that make someone successful) And/or what are the important practices every successful changemaker incorporates into their daily routines?
I can't speak for other people, nor can I say that I do all of these things, but I aspire to follow these "rules."
a. Family and friends come first.
When you are on your death bed, will you be thinking about how you wish you had written more emails, or went to more conferences, or wrote more reports? I doubt it. The call to, "make the world a better place," can be exciting, energizing, and all-consuming, but don't forget the people in your life who mean the most to you. How you live your personal life can be just as world changing and impactful as how you live your professional life.
b. Make time for the three R's: rest, reflection and recreation.
Social change work happens over the long haul. You may not see the results you want to achieve in your lifetime (i.e. the end of poverty). Most people who do social change work do so because they are emotionally connected to a cause. That emotion can give you energy, but it can also exhaust you. It's important to make space for regular (daily, weekly, monthly) times to reflect, rest and recreate to keep you fueled for the long-term.