3 Steps to Overcoming Fear in Firsts

Next week I'll have my first day at my new job. I've put together an outfit and look that helps me feel confident but I still have some nerves. How can I get past them so I can arrive feeling unafraid of this new experience?
Practice approaching routine activities with awe, gratitude and trust so that you can build those muscles. Then when you encounter new experiences you can call on your muscle memory to help overcome your fears.

Fear of the unknown and paralysis in firsts can be overcome through creating a new understanding of awe, gratitude, and faith.

Step One: Create a Sense of Awe

Close your eyes. You about to set the stage for newness. You are going to understand when you open your eyes that you will experience everything for the first time.

When you notice the dresser in front of you, the person in front of you, the view you are about to see, it will be entirely new. New landscape, new smell, new feel, new meaning and understanding.

You can open your eyes to everything and see it as if you are seeing it for the very first time. Imagine putting a case on a pillow for the first time. Imagine washing a dish for the first time. Each and every activity you do can be enhanced with your engagement on a level of newness. Expansion of your awareness occurs at the point of doing the same thing yet having new experiences created from your thoughts and emotions.

Challenge yourself to find a place of awe before you open your eyes. Allow yourself to look forward to the deeper sensations behind whatever it is you are about to experience. Come into a place of acceptance of whatever it is you may be experiencing, wherever you are and whomever you are with.

When we can generate a new understanding of our often mundane lives by viewing it through a lens of awe it helps stimulate our souls into new understanding of the same experience even if we have have had the same experience for years. You probably will continue to have many of the same daily experiences no matter what, yet it is up to you to bring life to the monotony of everyday life.

This inspiration of new thoughts, new meanings and new understandings will increase your awareness and increase your consciousness.

Take a look at something you have seen everyday. Take five minutes to describe it. See how many different dimensions you can see in that one object. If you can do it for a pencil, a picture frame, anything simple, it will help you see the people around you in a new light, too and inspire awe.

Second Step: Appreciation and Gratitude

You can increase your happiness by starting with awareness. Awareness that you can creatine your own experience through the thoughts in your mind. The second step of increasing your happiness is adding a piece of happiness science. {big smile!}

In this case, you want to come into appreciation for whatever it may be you are experiencing for the first time. Think of something to be grateful for regarding this action. Even if it is as simple as putting on a pillow case for the first time.

You choose to bring yourself to this experience. You can create this experience through your thoughts. Close your eyes, then open them with a sense of awe and newness. See something you have never seen before and bring in a sense of appreciation for something new even if the experience is old – gratitude will naturally follow the sense of appreciation.

Step three: Faith*

You may approach the ‘new’ with fear. You may be paralyzed at the thought of doing something new. You may find comfort in the ‘same’ thing every day. You may even seek the mundane and get excited in routine, day in and day out.

What do you do if something unexpected happens? What if you are planning on something new in the future and have anxiety about it? What is your relationship to the ‘new’ of life? What is your relationship to overcoming fear and anxiety of the unknown?

May I offer this as a solution.


Simple. May I offer you a perspective that whatever is happening, it is happening with your best interest at heart. No matter what it is. Even if it is ‘bad’ it is ‘good’. I believe in a notion of "faith," that ultimately only good will come from a situation.

As you approach the first day of school, the first day of a relationship, the first day at a new job, the first day in a new city greet it with a sense of awe, gratitude and faith.

This will help you to grow comfortable in your ‘new’ experiences, releasing you of nervousness, anxiety, and fear.

Practice makes perfect. You have to practice. At any moment you can close your eyes and open them to see something new. Any moment you are approaching a ‘first’, you can choose, awe, gratitude, and faith, with the confidence and comfort that whatever zest you want to add to your life, whatever ‘first’ you want to rock, you can do it! Using awe, gratitude and faith you can overcome any sense of fear, anxiety or discomfort in the experience.

Remember to say YES! to life, no matter what the first may be. Show up with a sense of deeper meaning and purpose and hold a sense of gratitude for every aspect of your life whether you are creating a sense of ‘new’ from the ‘old’ or a sense of excitement for the unknown.

You can shape your experiences. So next time you are experiencing a 'first' approach it with a sense of awe, gratitude, and faith. This will help you to create sustainable happiness in your life.

How do you overcome your fears the first time you do something or on the first day of a new experience?

Dr. Aymee Coget, Sustainable Happiness Expert, founder of The Happiness Makeover™ Training Program offers services and products on how to become happier at her website www.happinessmakeover.com. Ask questions and visit her on Facebook or Twitter (@draymee), or her blog www.draymee.blogspot.com.

*Please visit our Life Well Lived Glossary for more information about terms used in this post.


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