365 Reflections - Reflection 20

IMG_0202Well, it's getting tougher and tougher to select a photo and to find writing material. Last night's sleep was a replay of the Big Bang in my office. My current employer, in part enabled by the absence of the calming influence of his wife, decided to tell me what he really thinks of my imminent departure. And he held no punches. He is every bit a bully and willing to sever all future relationships in order to make his point. It's one of those moments that I will replay for the next couple of days, over and over in my head with different outcomes and witty comebacks that, at the particular moment in time, I was too flustered to dig up and toss out. I know I will get past this. I also know that it is my ego wanting to lash out with the same vehemence that was directed toward me, but that doesn't really help.

As I look at the photo I selected, it is also interesting that this one wanted to be chosen. Now that I think about it, while the picture looks serene and pastoral, the days surrounding this photo and road trip were some of the most painfully self-inflicted and dramatic in my half century on this planet. Perhaps that's why my subconscious chose it - to demonstrate to me that I have grown. The events surrounding the period of this photo are not ones I will ever subject myself to again. The lessons from this particular period were learned over a year of self-inflicted wounds - ones that I kept volunteering to receive again and again.

And in comes my wiggle butt full of love and adoration - giving me dog kisses and washing my face with his particular brand of love! Did he read my vibrations and know that dwelling in the past serves no one? I don't know but continue to believe that there are no coincidences. My job, here on this planet, is to grow and become the best me possible. Events like the one yesterday are to show me the progress I have made and allow me to develop more skills along my journey. Yesterday, I held my ground with a bully while not being provoked into doing something stupid. By holding my ground, I have added another brick to the foundation of the new belief structure called "I matter".  And I do matter - to my son, my mother, my family, my friends, my new employer and especially my dog. I have value that they have seen all along and that I am proving to myself, even if it is only one brick at a time.

What about you - do you believe in coincidences?


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