40 Days of Singleness: The Beginning
Its been 10 days since we broke up, and its literally hit me, just last night, that I am single again. For the first time since April 15, 2013. While that doesn’t seem like a very long time within the greater scheme of things, it was the longest relationship i’ve ever had. Now I wake with a different sense of both freedom, and loneliness. Very bittersweet.
It didn’t truly hit me that I was single until last night, as I went to bed and thought “I would really love to cuddle right now.” And while I have the option to call someone and go cuddle, I want that sense of familiarity that comes with loving the person with whom you cuddle. Like cuddling, with options to kiss and grope at will, without having to go through the hoops of explaining what happened the next morning.
Loneliness is an interesting thing. I think of it like a fog. It creeps slowly, but before you know it, you’re completely engulfed in this feeling of “Alone” It helps me to keep busy, so I have been burying myself in my work, and reading. I’m scared to let my mind sit for too long, because I have the terrible habit of re-hashing ALL my failed relationships, and I sink into this hole of sadness. I refuse to do that, so as part of my grieving process, I decided to write about how I feel, in hopes to express my feelings and get my mind together.
So if you’re reading, and I know I have at least ONE reader *waves at Lockage* welcome to my journey. And hopefully I will remember to post everyday. *crosses fingers* 40 days of trying to get a social life, get back in touch with myself, and possibly move on, but not too fast. Names will be changed, however, because, while I don’t mind talking about things, I don’t really want to embarrass the people I talk about.
More to come tomorrow.