40 Weeks of Fun: 20 Advantages of Being Pregnant

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Having been pregnant for a little more than 17 weeks now, just a few weeks from the halfway mark, I've been through the nausea, the mood swings, and all of the other typical pregnancy pains you might imagine. I know from my fellow mamas and mamas-to-be that though times have been a bit trying now and then, in reality, I ain't seen nothin' yet.

Rather than dwell on future aches and pains, I decided it would be much healthier to focus on the bright side of things. It's not all bad! I've thought about this, and there are some SERIOUS advantages to spending 40 weeks knocked up. Check it out.

40 Weeks of Fun: 20 Advantages of Being Pregnant

  • 1. You don't have to buy tampons for almost a year.

  • 2. The bigger you get, the better people tell you you look.

  • 3. Never worry about leftover pickles again.

  • 4. Moments of stupidity and or irrational behavior are easily excused on account of "the hormones."

  • 5. When you accidentally fart, you can blame it on the baby. (I imagine this as a continued benefit of motherhood.)

  • 6. Extra hair that insulates you from extreme temperatures. (And not just on your head, you lucky thing.)

  • 7. Extra loose joints and ligaments, perfect for circus performances.

  • 8. Explore a fresh culinary perspective with exciting new food cravings and aversions. (Maybe I'll write The Ketchup Cookbook.)

  • 9. Random and often inappropriate flashes of sexual attraction. (Ooo, Mr. Belvedere, you are looking FINE.)

  • 10. Great excuse to go clothes shopping.

  • 11. Lower stress level thanks to a randomly selective memory. (Bills? What bills?)

  • 12. Kiss fishing for small talk goodbye. You now have a solid and inexhaustible topic for LIFE. (No one ever gets tired of hearing about your diapering/breast feeding/college tuition strategies, right?)

  • 13. Once your bump gets big enough, you can sit things on it -- like cats and cups of coffee. How convenient!

  • 14. Misogynists will now view you with more quantifiable value. (That is, until you pop the kid out, then you'll go back to being a nameless sexy vessel.)

  • 15. Have some laughs making your non-child bearing friends uncomfortable with gory details. (It's called cervical mucus.)

  • 16. Enjoy the new-found feeling of smug superiority that comes with being a parent. (Psshhtt. I'm a MOTHER.)

  • 17. An all-access pass to ditch anyone and everyone in order to nap. (Your REAL friends will understand, jeez.)

  • 18. If you don't feel like lifting something heavy, just put a hand on your belly and sigh while gazing sadly at the nearest non-pregnant individual.

  • 19. Unlimited free water at bars and restaurants! (Luckily, free toilet breaks are also included.)

  • 20. And here's the big one: You get your very own baby at the end! (Yours to keep, no refunds or exchanges.)

There you have it, twenty reasons being preggo rocks. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go throw up my breakfast.

 

Originally posted on Mary Makes Babies

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