5 Dishes I Wouldn't Feed a Dog … But I Do Eat to Be Polite on Thanksgiving

BlogHer Original Post

5. Pumpkin Pie.
It's not that I find pumpkin pie particularly vile. Especially if it's homemade pie. I just feel like I have already eaten enough of it in this lifetime. I move we ax it from the lineup immediately and replace with a new tradition: Thanksgiving shortbread.

4. Cranberry Sauce.
I've been more than halfway through more than one Thanksgiving feast when the host said, "Crap!" and popped out of her chair, to return with a dish of cranberry sauce. Nobody had noticed. I rest my case.

Flavorwise, I just don't think cranberry sauce does the job of cutting through all that rich food. I can see it making a fantastic ersatz chutney with Indian food, or taking the place of lemon curd alongside gingerbread. But I'd rather let the tartness of the cranberry shine -- if you served me these sweet potato chips with cranberry salsa, I'd be eternally thankful.

3. Candied sweet potatoes
Sweet potatoes are quite nice. I could eat them baked up twice. I could eat them in a box. I could drink them on the rocks. But I DO NOT LIKE those candied yams. I do not like them, Sam-I-Am.

2. Most Rolls.
I've long dreamed of opening up my own quick-serve restaurant called Just Toast -- which pretty much sums up my warm feelings toward gluten. But we've got stuffing, potatoes, and pie crusts to devour. We've probably made a dent in a bready appetizer or two before the Big Show. Unless they're freshly baked yeast rolls, I'm saving them for leftover sandwiches.

1. Turkey.
I've deep-fried it. I've brined it. I've tried heritage and local birds, but I'd still gobble a Peking duck over turkey any day. Or goose. Or capon, guinea hen, partridge, or chicken. Or at least turducken. Or salt-baked fish or standing rib roast or a salmon-leek pie or a nice stuffed squash. Turkey's stressful to cook and it hogs oven space (not to mention energy). The white meat is often dry, the dark meat greasy -- and when it's cooked perfectly? Still turkey.

Lest you think I'm a thankless cad, tomorrow I'll count down the Thanksgiving foods I adore with such a passion that they wind up mysteriously missing from the leftover stash.

But now it's your turn: Which Thanksgiving dishes would you ban before next Thursday if you could?

More Like This

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.