5 Things Stay-at-Home Moms Do Not Sign On For

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About three months ago, I became a stay-at-home mom again. I've been one before. Heck, I've been everything before: a working mom, a single mom, a single working mom, a stay-at-home mom, a work-from-home mom, a mom who took her kids to work with her. I'm pretty sure I've been in almost every angle of the stay-at-home mom vs. working mom debate, and even created a new angle or two from which to view it.

Bottom line: I love being a stay-at-home mom. I do "work" during the day while the kids are at school; various things that make money and save us money, but essentially I'm a stay-at-home mom. I love being with my kids, watching them grow and develop and being an integral part of their lives.

There are some things, though, that I did not sign on for as a stay-at-home mom. (Unfortunately, puke, piss and crap are things we do sign on for when becoming a stay-at-home mom -- the kids' stuff, that is). No stay-at-home mom signs on for these things, but many of them just end up happening anyway. Well, not anymore. I'm here to lay it all out on the line, let people know that even though we are stay at home moms, there are things that were not included in this hidden contract that we signed. Don't go trying to add them now!

5 Things Stay-at-Home Moms Do em>Not Sign On For:

  • Becoming a Maid -- We signed on to become a housekeeper, yes, but not a maid. In my opinion, there's a huge difference. A housekeeper cleans the house, picks up general mess, gets down in the dirty every now and then with scrubbing and cleaning like hell, etc. A maid picks up after every person in the house and does what you tell them to without asking questions. I'm no maid, thank you. Shoes left in the middle of the floor will be vacuumed around until you can get home from work/school to pick them up from the middle of the floor. I do not throw dirty socks into the laundry unless they are my own. Any clothes that did not make it into the clothes basket before laundry day will not get washed. It's everyone's responsibility in this house to pick up after themselves and make sure what they need done is easily accessible for me. I will cover the main stuff in the house, but do not offer personalized service. Sorry, if you want that, hire a maid or personal assistant.


  • Becoming Martha Stewart -- I'll admit now, there are times in my life when I do channel Martha Stewart; I'll bake some amazing cookies or cakes, experiment with dinner and prepare something out of the ordinary, or decide to finally organize a section of the house and clean the hell out of it as well. But do not expect these things on a regular basis. That's not what we stay-at-home moms do. We don't cart the kids off to school in the morning and start preparing duck confit with roasted red potatoes and wild mushrooms, with an amuse-bouche appetizer and poached pears in a shiraz reduction for dessert. (Y'all know I had to Google that crap, right? Geez.) Dinner is going to be quick, easy, and something everyone likes. So, if you aren't a fan of eating spaghetti, tacos, pizza or chicken and rice on a regular basis, then you are more than likely out of luck with the average stay-at-home mom.
  • Giving Up All of Our Personal Time -- Stay-at-home moms are just like every other mom out there; we need our personal time and space, too. Just because we signed on to stay at home with the little ones, or not work outside the home does not mean that we are this magical breed of mothers who enjoys giving up our free time for the family, or who doesn't need outside interactions with non-family members. We stay-at-home moms need friends too, and please let us choose them for ourselves. That takes me directly to #4.


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