5 Things We All Want To Make Sex Better

What Kind of Sex Do You Want? 

Many of us want the same things to make sex better. A large study with 10,000 people between 33 and 43 years old paints a picture of how we all would like to change our intimate lives.

5 things we all want to make sex better

Image Credit: Emilian Robert Vicol

What We All Want:

  • People wanted to kiss or make out 4-6 times a week, but were only kissing 2-3 times a week. Surprisingly, more than half of men and women wanted more kissing, so it wasn’t just women who wanted it.
  • Among men, 81% wanted more oral sex, 75% wanted more vaginal sex, and 47% wanted more anal sex.
  • Amongst women: 48% wanted more vaginal sex, 36% wanted more oral sex, and very few (8%) wanted more anal sex.
  • Anal sex was the least favored activity for both sexes, with men wanting it less than once a month and most women fine with “not at all.”
  • The sex act men were MOST satisfied with was their solo masturbation. 53% of guys were satisfied with the amount they were doing it, but almost a third wanted to be doing less of it (in other words, they would have preferred good sex with a partner to masturbation). Only 15% of women wanted to be masturbating more or less than they were.

Gender Differences

It is not surprising to see that men enjoy engaging more in more varied sexual behavior than women. Men also tend to want more frequency of these more varied activities…For guys the lyrics should be “With a rebel yell, HE cried more, more, more!”

Relationship Satisfaction

An interesting twist in this study showed up in how higher desires for certain activities impacted overall relationship satisfaction.

Wanting more kissing and vaginal intercourse was associated with higher satisfaction in the partnership for both men and women.

In contrast, for both men and women, wanting more masturbation was negatively associated with relationship satisfaction. If sex felt better alone than with the partner, things were not going well in the couple.

Interestingly, a higher desire for anal intercourse for the man was also associated negatively with relationship satisfaction, as was the desire for more sexual fantasies in women.

It seems to make sense that couples who enjoy making love with each other and who know how to please each other want more of the activities that have shared interactions such as kissing and vaginal intercourse, even while these couples know to mix things up with novelty, in new positions, sex toys, and other sex play.

- Dr. E

Science can help us nurture and enjoy our sexual selves. 


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