5 Ways To Avoid Being Played
Are you single and tired of meeting the countless people out there who are only after one thing? Do you wonder why you can’t meet a great guy/girl? Today more then ever the players, both men and women, are out for a good time with no strings attached.
We have come up with a list of what to avoid if you are looking for a committed relationship.
1. The Bar Scene: While we know couples who met their spouse/partner at a bar, it may not be the best place to focus your energy towards meeting someone great. We are not saying you can’t meet someone at a bar, we just want you to be clear that most people out late at night at a bar have been drinking and may just be looking for a fun time. You can still hope to meet someone interesting but know that if you hook up with a random person at a bar, don’t act surprised if they don’t call you afterwards or if they turn out to be less than stellar when you get to know them sober.
Here is a great scene from Crazy, Stupid, Love where Ryan Gosseling, the ultimate player, tries to use his pick up lines at the bar. He is hard to resist but resist away ladies. You can spot a player when they tell you everything you want to hear. It almost sounds like it is rehearsed, because it is. These lines have been used on many girls before you. Don’t be naive.
2. Serial Dating: Are you constantly going on dates and wonder why you have not found Mr./Mrs. Right? Part of the problem is that you are dating too much. If you have 3 dates with different people in one week, it becomes hard to differentiate between them. Who loves kayaking and hiking verses who loves going to dinner and the theater? Also, you may discard a potentially great person because you are already thinking of the next guy/girl, what to wear, what to eat, etc. This overindulgent attitude will keep you from investing time or an emotional connection with the person you are out with. Slow down the dating, go on no more than one new date a week and really focus on the person you are meeting. Remember you are ultimately looking for someone to be in the “fox hole with.” Look for admirable qualities and before you leave for your date tell yourself, I will find 2 positive attributes about this person before the end of our date. This will have you going into the date happy and excited to actually get to know this person. There are many quality people out there, it just takes time to get to know one another.
3. Mr./Mrs. Wrong: Do you think someone is really cute and a lot of fun to party with but have heard they are a player? This information is your cue to move on, don’t pine away for someone who isn’t worth your time. Many people think that they will be able to change the other person into wanting a serious relationship. As if Mr./Mrs. Wrong will spend time with you and then they will magically fall for you and not be a “dog” anymore. Let us save you time and say, NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Most players are going to continue to enjoy this carefree lifestyle for a long time. At some point they may want to settle down and really try hard to find a quality person to share life with, but the likelihood that it will be at the very moment that you meet them is slim to none. Instead focus your energy on meeting upstanding individuals who share your same interests and/or values.
4. Read Between the Lines: Are you dating someone who is always looking around the room? Can you keep your dates attention? If not, then you are probably out with a player. Someone who really cares about you is less concerned with their surroundings and more into what you have to say. If you have to compete with the other people in the room for their attention, then it is probably time to call it quits.