50 Wacky Alternatives to Yelling at my Kids

Let’s face it. I am no expert. I don’t have a PhD in parenting. I don’t have a PhD in childhood behavior. I don’t have a PhD in therapy. The only PhD I have is that I am a Parent Holding Determination to find solutions to not yelling because it was destroying my kids' spirit. It was destroying me. So, I started getting creative. And a little wacky to keep from yelling. Here is my perhaps embarassing, hopefully helpful, list of the top 50 fun, silly, serious and other things I have done the last 100 days to keep from yelling. Consider it a cheat sheet for not yelling…or a source of entertainment. Either way I hope you enjoy it!

50 Alternatives to Yelling at your Kids:

Fun Alternatives (Added bonus: I don’t yell and kids start laughing and changing behavior):
1. Run around the house  (adrenaline boost)
2. Start talking jibberish  (makes kids laugh and stop pummeling each other)
3. Start blowing bubbles  (relaxes me, reminds me of childhood and that I should CHILL OUT)
4. Get the camera  (forces me to see behavior wasn’t so bad)


5. Laugh. Even if you don’t want to.  (laughter is good for the soul)
6. Bang arms on chest like a gorilla  (a good release and a great entertainment for kids)
7. Put hand in front of mouth and pretend to “toot” a horn  (great attention getter)
8. Do Jump and Jacks  (releases positive chemicals or something like that!)
9. Do push ups  (see above)
10. Start clapping and keep going until the kids have stopped annoying behavior  (a good release)
11. Start drumming on table/counter until rage is gone  (a REALLY good release)
12. Start the Hokey Pokey  (silliness can snap anyone out of it)
13. Start a Dance Party  (adrenaline + fun, what’s not to love?)
14. Sing. I especially like “La la la, la la, la LAAAAA”  (it’s unexpected which works wonders)
15. Pretend to have Laryngitis  (silence also works wonders)

“I look like a Fool” Alternatives:
16. Yell into a Closet  (clothes don’t have feelings)
17. Yell into a Kitchen Cabinet  (cereal boxes don’t have feelings either)
18. Open up the freezer and put head in  ­(it cools me down and snaps me out of my mood and makes kids laugh)
19. Raise two hands in the air (it gets kids attention, like a warning signal that I’m about to blow)


20. Go to the bathroom and scream into the toilet, then flush it away  ( um symbolic?)

21. Shake body, arms and legs  (like The
Wiggles, Shake shake Shake your silly’s out)

22. Get on back and put legs and arms in the air and howl like a Dog  (yes, I did this,read here)

“I’ll be considered a bad parent” Alternatives:
23. Put the TV on for longer than normally feels okay at moments that are especially dreadful  (Sometimes TV is better than yelling, right?)
24. Have ice cream sundaes together  (Fun family activity makes me want to have fun, not yell)
25. Start the day with Orange Yogurt  (A very small food coloring goes a long way)

I don’t know how to categorize Alternatives:
26. Go to The Orange Rhino Facebook page and yell there…   (that’s what the page is for!)
27. Text a friend announcing you’re going to lose it  (hopefully he/she will say “don’t!!)
28. Set up phone calendar to notify you every 30 min to not yell.  (annoying but helpful)
29. Stare at something in room that you love.  (finding happy moments erases anger)
30. Ask your child WHY are you crying?  (the response will make you give a hug instead)
31. Ask your child WHY are you doing that?  (the response might make you understand behavior and make your desire to yell decrease)
32. Tell yourself “I won’t yell. I won’t yell.”  (Tricks you into believing you won’t!)
33. Say “I love you. I love you. I love you.”  (Hard to yell when you realize you love someone).

More Serious/Expected Ideas
34. Count to 10. Or 100. Or 1000 until you calm down.  (forces one to regroup and get perspective)
35. Walk away  (more opportunity to gain perspective)
36. Take a deep breath  (if one is breathing, one can’t yell!)
37. Whisper  (don’t know why this works, it just does!)
38. Turn the Lights off  (the shocking factor stops kids in tracks and adds calmness)
39. Eat  (Food in mouth, mouth can’t yell. major pros, major cons, um hello 5 pounds)
40. Keep a journal and write why you want to scream  (paper is a great listener)
41. Grab your hands together and squeeze (a great release)

How I remind myself not to yell
42. Buy orange napkins and keep in the kitchen
43. Buy (or receive for Mother’s Day!) orange kitchen towels
44. Wear more orange (necklace, clothes)
45. Put orange post it notes all over the house ESPECIALLY where one is apt to yell

46. Print out Orange Rhino Logo, attach popsicle sticks and have Kids hold it up when crankiness starts


47. Get kids involved! Have them yell “ORANGE RHINO!!!” when they sense the volcanic eruption coming!

48. Wear an orange hair elastic around wrist

49. Place orange flowers in a vase in kitchen

50. Serve Orange Foods  (oranges, peaches, cheese, Cheez its, carrots)

So there you have it. 50 things I have tested in order to keep myself from yelling. Clearly, it has taken  A LOT of creativity. And A LOT of patience. And A LOT of self control. But hey, my kids are worth it. They totally deserve to be raised in a more loving environment.

www.TheOrangeRhino.com
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"I can't yell for 365 days...but I can still pick my nose!" 

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