7 Sexy Ways to Turn Yourself On

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When I think about sex and being turned on, there is usually another person in the equation. But what about turning myself on? What if I want to be the initiator of sex with my partner or want to greet the day with a masturbatory wake up call? Even if you’re in touch (pun kind-of intended) with your sexy side, we all need a bit of inspiration to get in the mood and forget whatever may or may not be on the to-do list.


Image: Kitty Terwolbeck via Flickr


Touch Thyself

Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like women don’t talk enough about masturbation. In the 20 years that I have been friends with my bestie we have talked about everything except masturbation. Maybe never is a bit of an over-statement. In our decades-long friendship we have talked about it a handful of times – which is me being overly generous. But that doesn’t mean we don’t do it. Of course we do, we just rarely talk about it.

Touching yourself is a great way to get turned on.  If I had to pick a favorite time to get to know myself, I would pick the morning because that's when I’m usually alone. If the only door in your house that has a lock is the bathroom, start there. You can take five minutes (it often doesn't even take that long) before you get into the bath or consider having a removable shower head installed. Hand-held shower heads are a girl’s best friend.


Personally, I am terrible at sexting, but that doesn’t mean you are. One way to get yourself turned on is to start thinking about sex as something that is intentional. You are sensual and sexy, so why not share it with your partner? Become intentional by telling your partner what you want to do when he/she gets home, your fantasies and how he/she makes you feel. Make sure you sext what you want done to you – by doing so, you’ll make sure your partner knows what you like and you’ll get turned on just from sharing that information. If you have kids, make sure you put a password lock on your phone.

Wake Up Naked

I like to sleep fully clothed, so sleeping in the buff automatically turns me on. Sleeping naked is often an invitation to explore my body and, if I want my partner to initiate, a way for him to caress and touch everything; from my breasts to the curves of my hips and everything in between.

Have Anonymous “Sex” in Chat Rooms

For the love of... do not share pictures of your body and your face!! Now that the obvious is out of the way, if you're comfortable with this type of interaction, you might become turned on by talking all kinds of "dirty" sexy talk in chat rooms. This could even lead to you touching yourself. Anonymous chat room sex can really let your freak flag fly high and without fear or exposure.

Read Something Hot

It may be trashy, but you’re looking to get turned on, not pick up a literature degree or woo someone with your knowledge of Keats. I like to pick based on cover – the more ridiculous, the more juicy. You’re about to delve into a fictional world of hotness to start feeling hot and bothered, so don’t be embarrassed if you’re buying an actual book on an actual checkout line. You can always avoid both and buy digital.

Watch Something Even Hotter

Porn doesn’t have to be just for the guys. You can enjoy a clip by yourself in the bathroom and on your phone, in the morning, or whenever you get a free moment just for you. Of course watching together is even more fun and can be a jump off point for you and your partner to try new positions and not hold back.

Become the Initiator

Play the dominant role in your sex life by becoming the initiator. Don’t just drop hints, be explicit. Send a sext, turn on a movie, share a clip, read a passage of erotica to your partner or touch yourself in their company. It’s a turn on when women know what they want – an orgasm – and you’ll be turned on that your partner wants to participate too.  

These are by no means the only ways to turn yourself on, but they can help jumpstart a new self-loving relationship with the person who knows you best-- YOU!

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