8 Reasons Little Girls Make Great FBI Recruits
By Pecked2DeathByChckns on August 31, 2014
I own a boy and a girl and am often asked how old they are. My answer is “She’s 4, going on 34, and he’s 3 going on 1”.
This accelerated maturity seems to be the case for many of the other little girls I’ve observed. After careful evaluation of their specific behaviors, I’ve deduced that The FBI and other intelligence agencies may want to start recruiting little girls, in order to take full advantage of their optimal skill sets.
My FBI knowledge of female agents is based on Clarice Starling in Silence of the Lambs, and the gals of The Heat, so I may not be ready to advise federal personnel teams on recruiting practices just yet, but read my case, and I think you’ll agree that I’m on to something.
1. Interrogation Skills – Little girls can effectively break another adult during a questioning stand-off using advanced “Why?” and “Why Not?” interrogation techniques. Techniques involving “Because Why?” and “Huh?” are also employed frequently, and with optimal results.
2. Observation Techniques – Little girls are adept at identifying the sound of a pantry door opening from at least 3 rooms away. Even at this distance, they can distinguish the subtle tone differences between a rustling bag of chips and a crinkling pretzel pack being opened, if they even remotely suspect that a sibling may be getting an unfair share.
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