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"I was a late bloomer. But anyone who blooms at all, ever, is very lucky." - Sharon Olds I, too, am a late bloomer. Late to writing, late t...
 
 
 
 

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Eighth Grade Graduation: The American Coming-of-Age

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Two dresses: one for the actual ceremony and one for the party after. Matching shoes, of course. Manicure, pedicure (OK, I couldn’t resist). Hair softly curled like Leighton Meester (of Gossip Girl fame). I even allowed her to wear make-up (shimmering pink lip gloss and iridescent eye shadow) for the first time. All this because my daughter was graduating from eighth grade.

‘Tis the season of graduations, and along with that comes the requisite hand-wringing and tsk-tsking about too much pomp given the circumstances. The New York Times argues we are “overpraising what should be a routine accomplishment.”  The blogging world is atwitter with complaints of excess. Uncool Mom laments that the cap and gown doesn’t mean what it used to. She wonders whatever happened to the notion that “to everything there is a season” and believes the season for graduations should begin with high school and not at the end of middle school.

I beg to differ. I believe our children need a meaningful way to mark the transition from childhood to young adulthood, a way that is honored and revered by the adults around them. Coming of age rituals are not exclusively religious but have a long history across a multitude of peoples and are celebrated in a myriad of ways.  The Jewish community honors this transition with the Bar and Bat Mitzvah. The Latino community celebrates with the Quinceanera. Roman Catholics and some Protestants have Confirmation. These ceremonies do have one thing in common: They bring the community together to honor and initiate its newest members. 

Our country, once called a melting pot, now referred to as a salad, brings people of different races and religions and classes together as we continue this experiment called Democracy. We need a common ritual to welcome the next generation. While we might wish that a high school graduation could be the one unifying demarcation point into adulthood, sadly with a drop-out rate amongst all males of nearly 20 percent and the numbers even higher for blacks and Latinos, we can’t confidently use this as a set point for the American coming-of-age.

Eighth grade is the last year we can be assured the vast majority of children will pass through together on their individual paths to adulthood in the United States. So let’s celebrate this transition. Let’s recognize it for what it is, the important step towards becoming a contributing member of our great nation.

I thought of this as I watched my daughter accept her diploma. She will go on to high school and college and likely graduate school as her mother and father have. She will become another citizen working to live not only her own dream but to play her part as we collectively realize the dream of our forefathers. She is the future they wished for. I couldn’t be more proud.

Visit these bloggers as they, too, celebrate their graduating eighth graders: 

Do you have an eighth grade graduation story to share? Please do. Let’s honor our children’s coming-of-age together.

Gloria Steinem once said, "The first problem for all of us, women and men, is not to learn but to unlearn." I am working on unlearning each and every day. How about you?

Lisen Stromberg

www.prismwork.com

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Rebecca Miles 5 pts

Rituals tend to become less meaningful when applied in a broad-brush fashion. The graduation gown and hard-won diploma which mark high school and college graduations should be reserved to mark the effort and achievement required to attain the diplomas. While I was thrilled to watch my daughter move from kindergarten to first grade, elementary school to middle school, etc., those achievements are not on par with the rigor of high school or college graduation.

We decry the lack of rigor in our educational system, wondering why our high school graduates are not able to compete on the job market or in college. I have to admit that I like keeping the tokens of rigor where they belong. I would much prefer finding other ways to celebrate the development milestones of our children.

Learning Through Teaching: http://rmiles2go.blogspot.com/

IsleDance 5 pts

Interesting. I never thought of this as a coming-of-age time. I think I assumed that was around age 16 or so. But then again, we never really did anything about that in these parts. Something to ponder...

One Friday night, I loaded up my life and headed out... ( http://isledance.blogspot.com )

Beverly Flaxington 5 pts

I have a daughter leaving 8th grade and a son leaving 5th going to middle school. Both schools are having many different "celebrations" and I am loving each and every opportunity. I remember my 8th grade graduation so clearly and I hope they remember these, too. Life is filled with things we "have to do", why not take every opportunity to celebrate whenever there is a chance to do so!

Beverly Flaxington

Blog: Dealing with Difficult People ( http://dealingdifficultpeople.blogspot.com/ )

Book: Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets ( http://www.understandingotherpeople.com/ )

Lisen Stromberg 5 pts

It was pink and long and I had a Dorothy Hammell short hair cut. I thought I was the bees knees until I tripped up the podium. Oh well, just a sign of the adolescent times.

Lisen
www.prismwork.com ( http://www.prismwork.com )

sassymonkey 6 pts moderator

I also didn't have a kindergarten graduation either. I had one in sixth grade when we moved from elementary school to junior high. We did not have one when we moved from junior high to high school. It would have been rather silly has we shared many of the same facilities and they were beside each other.

I like ritual. I like ceremonies. But when things get to be too much like high school (two dresses, cap and gown, etc) it makes me wonder if we aren't trying to get kids to grow up faster.

Funnily enough, my college graduation was the most low-key one that I participated in. I didn't even think about what I was going to wear until that day.

Contributing Editor Sassymonkey also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

JennaHatfield 10 pts

I had an eighth grade graduation.

I wore a navy blue one piece romper type get up that was popular at the time. My hair was too short for my face and my glasses were huge. We did not have a cap and gown though I wish we would have so I could have hidden my lack of style.

Oh, and I had braces.

No one was pregnant. Like at our high school graduation. There were approximately ten more of us at 8th grade graduation than four years later. It was a simple, innocent, happy day for the lot of us. I hope my children get something similar.

Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )), from Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ), is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.