9 Things You Should Never Say to Stay at Home Mother.

9 Things You Should Never Say to Stay at Home Mother.

What do you do ALL day? Watch daytime TV, have super long showers, go shopping for hours while my toddlers play and care for themselves. How come no one ever asks their caregiver this? Do you pick your child up from the day home  / day care / nanny and ask them what the heck kept them busy all day? I do what you did on maternity leave, or on a weekend, I've just been doing it for longer.

Don't you get BORED? I'd be SO bored. Intellectually stimulating it is not. So I find other outlets (note you are reading my blog). I've befriended other stay-at-home-moms who I find interesting and learn from them, I volunteer, I read (and not just celebrity gossip).
I go to the petting zoo on a Tuesday when my kids have the place to themselves and the workers let my oldest hold the new bunnies, we go to the park, the splash park, the backyard...I am not saying every day is full of adventure, but then again, neither was my career.

You should wear something different than sweats / you look awfully dressed up for being at home with the kids. Seriously, no one wins this one. Wearing your Lululemon knock offs everyday will draw just as many stares as a dress and heels. I have found a comfortable style that works for me : skinny jeans or leggings and layered tops for when I am out, comfortable work out gear for at home that can be washed twice a day if needed. Message here is: Find your style, and rock it. Being at home doesn't mean you can't sport the latest styles, or just be comfy.

 I couldn't give up my career to be at home. This one is tough as it infers that I either a) 'gave up' my career or b) I had a job as opposed to a career, so was no big deal to not go back to. We all make the best decisions for our families. Do I miss work? Sometimes. But if I viewed it as 'giving it up', I probably wouldn't be at home.

My kids would drive me crazy if I was home all day. I am a better parent working. But that doesn't mean I would be. 

There's so much I would get done if I were at home. I thought this too. Alas, my digital photos still sit on my computer album-less, my closets are messy, and the laundry is never up to date. Turns out my toddlers need me to look after them during the day. I have big dreams of tackling things and logging into Pinterest when my kids are both in preschool 6 hours a week. That'll be 2 years from now. I'll get back to you. 

Your a stay-at-home-mom, so you should volunteer for (insert day time activity here). This hasn't actually happened to me yet, but I hear preschool years and on wards are ripe with requests for class room helpers and fund raisers and volunteers. Assuming you have more than one child, what do you with your other children while you are helping out the other? And just because I am at home with my children does not mean I want to become the defacto school volunteer.

I want to be a good role model for my child. Umm, so do I. Working or not does not the role-model make. How we treat and love our children and other people in our lives; how we live, that is what counts.

I want my child to be socialized, not only be around me all day. I don't just sit and stare at my kids all day. We have play dates, and play groups, and attend scheduled activities. Yes, they spend less time with lots of other children in a group setting, but I am not worried this will make them social misfits. 

To work or not to work? Either way: Love, and care for, and look after your children. You are their mom and you are making the best decisions you can for them. They will thrive, and they will love us because of it.


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