90 Days on Match.com: Week 3...Should Have Just Ignored You
By Jonesie on January 30, 2014
Okay kids, here I am three weeks into my 90 Days on Match.com experience, and let me just say that although the only way you can get to know someone is by making contact with them...I sure as hell wish I would not have made any contact with, well...anyone! For those of you that may need a refresher as to how this series on my blog came about, please read my first post and catch up on the goings on here: (http://akwardgirlinthecity.blogspot.com/2014/01/90-days-on-matchcom-week...)
Now let's get down to the facts. During week 3 on Match my profile was viewed 52 times, I was sent 13 E-mails, and received a few winks. Here's where it gets a bit dicey...
I worried too much about how I was viewed by the men who e-mailed me. The guys that e-mailed me this week, were men that I had no interest in, and I did not want to come across like a jerk and just ignore them, so I e-mailed them back to "let them down easy". Ugh...I feel like a total jackass just writing that sentence down. Here's the thing. I have been ignored by someone before, you know, you text or call them, and they never respond. Or, you go out with them, even sleep with them and never hear form them again. We have all been there, so I did not want to just read their e-mails and delete them without at least responding in some way.
One e-mail was really sweet, the guy told me how beautiful he thought I was, liked my smile etc. and I e-mailed him back basically letting him know I was not interested and wished him luck on his search. He seemed to understand so this was the "I'm not interested" e-mail I sent to everyone. Well, some of them took my response as encouragement instead of how it was intended. This is one of the caveats of online dating...there is no filter, literally, these men say ANY DAMN THING THEY WANT TO. Most of them could care less about you not responding, or responding to let them know you are not interested. There is something thrilling about seeing that little notification next to your inbox and it honestly gives you a feeling of adrenaline, mixed with feeling wanted. Really.
When someone wants you, you feel good. I don't care what anyone says, being wanted feels good. With that being said, there is also a fine line between being wanted and trying to make someone want you. This is a place we have all been to as well: You like someone, you do things to get their attention, or are bold enough to just let them know you are interested. You may even give them your number, "accidentally" show up at the same party, e-mail them etc. You expect them to like you back right? I mean why wouldn't someone like you? You are amazeballs...but he/she doesn't like you. They don't call, text, or invest any time in you whatsoever. To sum it...baby he does not want you, but...denial sets in. You convince yourself he/she is to busy with work, it's not the "right-time", or they are scared. Listen, no one is afraid of you, and no one is to busy for you, they just don't want you! Accept it and move on.
On Match, I've learned that acceptance may be a bit hard for most to digest. Mainly I think it is because they are trying so hard to prove to you that they are who you want. Also, there are so many different ways to let someone know you are interested through one medium. As I explained in the first post, you can wink at someone, e-mail them, like their pictures and even chat with them through the site. All of those options can be a bit overwhelming...for me anyways. During the weeks going forward I will not respond to every e-mail or wink because it's just exhausting and ends up getting me way to many notifications on my phone (may sound a bit btichy but its true and those notifications mainly come at 1:00 am...argh).
Lastly, I said...well wrote in weeks one post that I had sent out winks to men who had no ethnicity preferences on their profiles, and were sent to me by Match. I did not hear back from them at all. I will continue to send winks to men sent to me by Match, who state they have no ethnicity preferences to see if they will ignore me or respond. Stay tuned...
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