Aching Heart

Well, it's been a while since I've posted anything here. I have a hard trying to post here because this is like my diary I guess. Over the last few weeks my heart has been aching for a number of reasons. One being all the people affected here in Oklahoma by mother nature. We all know I don't work, I have no money, but I wanted to help. So what I did was load up some extra food I had around the house and sent it to a local church in my hometown of  Weleetka, Oklahoma that took it to those affected. Then, in my own home town I watched it flood from a distance and couldn't help. I know almost everyone there and life there isn't easy, and then the flooding just made things worse. I also just pasted the one year mark of my husband and I near fatal car wreck that nearly took both of our lives. The next day I was sitting on my bed and looked up at my clock and had a flashback of that exact moment when I was in ICU and asked the nurse what time it was and I felt my heart drop when I tried to get up to go see my husband who was in ICU with me in the next room and critical condition. Then my mind when threw some thoughts of what I might being doing now if he didn't make it and just the thought alone made me panic and I began to cry. I realized that god saved us both that night and we are struggling to figure out why. I know he didn't save my life just to sit around and type on my lap top and order freebies and review products all day. So, I am wondering when God will tell me why he saved my life that night. Yes, I know one reason is because of our three wonderful children, but what's the rest. There are kids everyday that grow up with out their parents or have parents that don't care for them the way they should. I guess when I figure out why I am here in this life still I will blog about it and tell whoever reads this. Also lately, we have been camping and it dawned upon me I have a soft spot for kids as we took my sons friend with us and he is not taken care of by his parents and never wants to go home and always stays at our house. I was one of those girls many years ago that if you asked me I would have told you HELL NO I am not having kids and now I have three of my own and want to help so many other kids that I see but I am not sure how as I don't have much to offer but a hug. So many kids today suffer the way I did and I guess I feel I must reach out to them. What most parents need to realize that if you are together or divorced your child is not your therapist. Don't talk to your child negatively about the other parent, grow up and deal with your decision's your child will not be young forever and will realize as they grow what you are doing and grow to hate you for it. You are supposed to be an example for your child. Don't be a child in your child's eyes. Respect the other parent, you will forever be connected to the other parent because of your child. This world is filled with enough hate, and drama. Don't create more. Remember what I said your child will soon realize what your doing so when they do realize what your doing let it be things that your child wants learn and do. Don't feel your child with hate, anger and aggression, if you do, you will regret it, and you cant buy your child's love with money or toys or the latest video games, it will back fire on you, your child will not be interested in those things forever and there will come a time when those thing or your paycheck will stop, and when it does you will wish more than anything that your child loves you for you, and not your gifts or money. All these things I have witnessed or they have been done to me. It's takes alot for me to mentally get threw the day. STOP the cycle now in your life like I have!!! GROW UP!!!!!


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