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As a parent of older children one of my biggest worries is protecting them from drugs and/or alcohol. It is no secret that drug abuse and "experimenting" with different ways to get that high--that rush-- is not something confined to the "bad kids" or the kids whose parents are less than involved in their lives. Drugs are a fact of life for every tween and teen these days. They have programs in school starting as young as early elementary years that are geared towards teaching children to Just Say No. For many parents, there is the ability to stand and say, "Look to me as a role model. I didn't do it. You don't have to either." But what about those of us who have gone down that rough road of addiction? Are we still able to stand as role models to our children?
As a recovering addict with over 7 years behind me, I worried in the early days that I would not be able to talk to my children about drugs or alcohol without being a hypocrite. How could I tell them the horrors and the dangers when I did it? Honestly? That is bullshit. If anything, I am in a better position and more knowledgeable in that area to NOT be the one to sit my kids down and let them know how powerful addiction can be. How addiction can take a "normal" life and completely screw it up. How "just this once" can become the very last thing a person ever says before that "one time" kills them.
Motherhood is hard. Period. We have moments where we are overwhelmed, tired, lonely and just want to keep going. Some times--many times--we just want to find that magic pill that keeps us going. Many moms find their outlet in productive ways. Some of us find that relief in ways that lead us straight down the path to addiction.
In an article by Mindy McConnell, she writes about life as a mom and meth addict.
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I never ate or slept. I was severely thin because I wasn’t taking care of myself at all. I’m 5’7”, and at one point I was about 110 pounds. I was also once hospitalized with a kidney infection.
Isaiah was also living among this filth and neglect. I really did want the best for my child, and on meth I simply could not be a mother. I was angry and irritable all the time, constantly aggravated, frustrated, yelling and screaming.
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That is a woman living at death's door and trying to raise a child at the same time. The two are not compatible. Thankfully, Mindy was one of the lucky ones who sought help, got clean and found her life again. For herself. For her child.
When I look at my son, I am so proud. I know that I’ll be there for him. That’s something I could never promise him before. I am someone that he can depend on. I have the direction to achieve great things—and I will!
A role model if ever I saw one.
But it isn't just meth that can take a Mom and cause her to feel out of control. Alcohol is one of those "innocent" drugs because it is legal. If you can buy it at the store, it must be okay. Wrong. For many women, it can be just as lethal and just as dangerous. With luck and help, many of these moms are struck by some incident, some event or just the accumulation of both and they seek recovery. A mom and writer that I admire immensely openly shared her story of recovery. Jen writes:
I have said this before, but my life changed while I was in treatment and was compelled to let go of my past and confide in my counselor about major wrongdoing in my life. We wrote them down, burned them outside in a firepit and gave them to God. I felt something that day. It was the day that I consider "my conversion experience". It was the day that I humbled myself to be real, and it was the day that I surrendered all my baggage. If you read my blog, you know I am not perfect and didn't become a saint that day (still haven't...darn), but rather, I began
