As a parent of older children one of my biggest worries is protecting them from drugs and/or alcohol. It is no secret that drug abuse and "experimenting" with different ways to get that high--that rush-- is not something confined to the "bad kids" or the kids whose parents are less than involved in their lives. Drugs are a fact of life for every tween and teen these days. They have programs in school starting as young as early elementary years that are geared towards teaching children to Just Say No. For many parents, there is the ability to stand and say, "Look to me as a role model. I didn't do it. You don't have to either." But what about those of us who have gone down that rough road of addiction? Are we still able to stand as role models to our children?

As a recovering addict with over 7 years behind me, I worried in the early days that I would not be able to talk to my children about drugs or alcohol without being a hypocrite. How could I tell them the horrors and the dangers when I did it? Honestly? That is bullshit. If anything, I am in a better position and more knowledgeable in that area to NOT be the one to sit my kids down and let them know how powerful addiction can be. How addiction can take a "normal" life and completely screw it up. How "just this once" can become the very last thing a person ever says before that "one time" kills them.

Motherhood is hard. Period. We have moments where we are overwhelmed, tired, lonely and just want to keep going. Some times--many times--we just want to find that magic pill that keeps us going. Many moms find their outlet in productive ways. Some of us find that relief in ways that lead us straight down the path to addiction.

In an article by Mindy McConnell, she writes about life as a mom and meth addict.

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I never ate or slept. I was severely thin because I wasn’t taking care of myself at all. I’m 5’7”, and at one point I was about 110 pounds. I was also once hospitalized with a kidney infection.

Isaiah was also living among this filth and neglect. I really did want the best for my child, and on meth I simply could not be a mother. I was angry and irritable all the time, constantly aggravated, frustrated, yelling and screaming.

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That is a woman living at death's door and trying to raise a child at the same time. The two are not compatible. Thankfully, Mindy was one of the lucky ones who sought help, got clean and found her life again. For herself. For her child.

When I look at my son, I am so proud. I know that I’ll be there for him. That’s something I could never promise him before. I am someone that he can depend on. I have the direction to achieve great things—and I will!

A role model if ever I saw one.

But it isn't just meth that can take a Mom and cause her to feel out of control. Alcohol is one of those "innocent" drugs because it is legal. If you can buy it at the store, it must be okay. Wrong. For many women, it can be just as lethal and just as dangerous. With luck and help, many of these moms are struck by some incident, some event or just the accumulation of both and they seek recovery. A mom and writer that I admire immensely openly shared her story of recovery. Jen writes:

I have said this before, but my life changed while I was in treatment and was compelled to let go of my past and confide in my counselor about major wrongdoing in my life. We wrote them down, burned them outside in a firepit and gave them to God. I felt something that day. It was the day that I consider "my conversion experience". It was the day that I humbled myself to be real, and it was the day that I surrendered all my baggage. If you read my blog, you know I am not perfect and didn't become a saint that day (still haven't...darn), but rather, I began a process of change that radically started changing my life then and it continues today.

What you may not know about Jen is that she lost the her daughter in the adoption process due to her alcoholism that someone else took upon themselves to report to the agency. Even while she was in recovery and well on her way to sobriety. That pain she carried and still carries for her daughter that she lost could send many people to the bottle for help. She stood strong. I will never forget meeting her face to face. Her pain etched all over features. I saw in her a kindred spirit. I wanted more than anything to hug the pain away. However, having been through the trial by fire, I knew it was walk she had to take. I promised her I would be there if she ever needed someone. She was just two months into her sobriety. I hoped she could see in me that there was victory to be had. That was well over a year ago. On May 29th of this year, she celebrated one year of sobriety.

A role model if ever I saw one.

I also became friends with another mom blogger and writer, Mary, who suffered with alcohol addiction in silence for a long time. Then, we she did decide to become clean, she made the choice and stuck by it. She sought help and recovery and is staying clean and sober and living a happy life with her husband and children. Contrary to the nature of many bloggers, she hesitated on what to share and what to keep to herself.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what to write or what not to write about this process I'm going through of quitting drinking, of becoming a sober individual. Of course I would love to tell you everything, the whole sordid tale starting with my first drink at age 10 and ending with my last at age 38. I would love nothing more than to share with you all of the good times, the bad times, the reckless times...

But here's the truth: People can use that kind of information--stories about your sordid past, your illicit drug use, and your alcoholism--against you. People like employers, husbands trying to gain custody of your children, people who want to deliberately hurt you, people who are looking for your Achilles heel and are more than happy that you revealed it to the world in a public, timeless forum.

She had seen first had what can happen to a blogger who openly speaks about an issue that could be used against her. She chose to share the minimum. Yet, she shares enough to let us cheer her on and support her.

A is for Alcoholic. This is the last week of my outpatient alcohol rehabilitation program. I've learned a lot of things about myself, and I've hopefully learned coping skills that can replace self-medication as ways of dealing with whatever crazy stuff life throws my way.

A role model if ever I saw one.

I know from experience that each of these moms probably don't think they are the first choice in role models when it comes to talking to their kids about drugs and alcohol. If for one second they doubt that they are the very best role models to educate their children, they would be wrong. As the saying goes, "Trust the ones who have gone before you." We moms who have battled addiction are in a unique position to talk to their children. They know first had how horrible addiction can be. They know firsthand of the dangers, the pain, the suffering and the loss that addiction can bring to a person's life. These women are role models for their children and others.

They should be commended and congratulated. For in my eyes, these women are role models. I've seen them.

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~You can find more of my writing at Mommy Needs Coffee, Mommybloggers , Fresh Brewed Reviews and Aggroqueen.~