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There were many times in my life when I encountered miracles and tragedies which I wanted or needed to share with the people around me. I have this insatiable need to "talk it out" so I can hear myself think or get advice and know that someone else is listening to me when I need to be heard. Sharing miracles are positive things that my friends and family wanted to hear but during the tragic times, sharing to much of my pain only caused them an enormous amount of grief and stress which was compounded on their own daily struggles. They wanted to help me but I was so bogged down with my self righteousness I never stopped to think about how it was really affecting them. They had lives too and calling them every day to share a new detail of an old problem got old really fast. They were always loving, supportive and giving up their time but there was a point when I realized that I needed to give them a break . That's when I decided to reach out and find myself a different kind of help.
The day I walked into an Alanon group was the day I discovered something awesome. I remember sitting in my chair raising my hand through the whole meeting waiting to spill my guts and after being shushed for the hundredth time, advised that it was OK to just "listen", I was finally called upon to share. I started crying while spewing out my story and could feel my heart racing a thousand miles an hour. When I ended my story, the lady next to me put her arm around me and hugged me the rest of the meeting. I really hope I was wearing waterproof mascara because I was sobbing uncontrollably on her t shirt. I was told that they had all been there and that they understood what I was feeling. I was shocked! How could anyone really understand my pain and tell me that I really wasn't crazy? I finally felt at peace. They reminded me that the only one I needed to "fix" was myself and that they would be there every step of the way. This community of people helped save me from my self righteousness and helped me begin my life's transformation towards changing my attitude. It was amazing to find a group of friends who were not judgmental because they all had the same kind of troubles that I was experiencing.
I am so proud of myself for taking that step of reaching out for help when I was at the lowest point in my life. It was hard to pick up the phone and call those numbers searching for a local group and even harder driving myself there but I had reached my bottom and I was desperately ready to pull my way up.
Thought for the Day
Finding Peace
Finding the positive things around you is easy, you just have to realize they are there. We can recondition ourselves to let go of control in order to let others be who they were meant to be and ourselves, what we are worthy. Acceptance, tolerance and appreciation for the diversity of individuality is essential for finding peace within ourselves.
