AD/HD... It's not just for kids anymore!
I don't know if it has to do with age, having kids or just an infinite lack of sleep; but the older I get, the more stupid I become. And it's beginning to be a problem.
So the other morning I go to the gym like I try to do at least four times a week. And I don't even know why I bother anymore because nobody really seems to give a rat's ass about my FAT ass, but I do it. And I do it with all the enthusiasm of a slug on a mission to go nowhere. And while I'm huffing it up on the treadmill, I'm thinking about all the things I'd like to get done today, like shower and eat lunch. And then I remember that the husband used up all the milk that morning to make a strawberry cocktail for our daughter. "If I hurry," I think, "I can make it over to the grocery store before my 2-hour free parking time limit expires!" So I hurry, which is sort of a joke because I'm on a 30-minute timer.
I walk into the store and grab a quickie hand basket. I do this because I don't need a cart... I only need milk. (You've been there, you know.) Then I remember that I need to grab a butternut squash for a little Moroccan dish I was planning to prepare later; but as I'm picking out the perfect size (because size DOES matter when you're cooking this meal), I remember about the milk. So I head over in that direction and pick up a few more things along the way. When all was said and done and the cross-eyed cashier handed me my receipt, I realized that it would have probably been smarter to just buy my own cow. But who has the space?
By the time I get home, I have to pee so bad that my eyes are floating, so I grab my stuff and run into the house. Three hours later, it dawns on me that I forgot to unload the car. DAMMIT! Lucky for me, it was still cold outside; otherwise that Salmon aroma might have started swimming upstream in my Upholstery, and then I would have had to endure fish jokes from my husband for the next ten days! It's a good thing I forgot the milk or that would have been the stupidest thing I had done all day long!
More Like This
Recent Posts by sassypiehole
Most Popular on BlogHer
Most Popular on Humor
Recent Comments on Humor