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In the past, my salary negotiations before accepting a new job have been something like this:
New Job: We'd like to hire you for $X.
Me: OK! Great!
Which is to say, I've never really negotiated. In part, that's because the only job I've ever been offered for that I realized had a too-low starting salary was my first one out of college, and I was in no place to refuse any work at that point. In part, though, it's been because the idea of negotiation makes me uncomfortable.
I'm not alone in being uncomfortable negotiating. In fact, I'm in the majority. There has been a lot of work done and there are a lot of theories about women and negotiation. There are books, websites, seminars, and speakers about it. With women still at something less than 80 cents to the male dollar, it's a big deal.
So, when I started this last job search, I promised myself that I would negotiate. It wasn't just my personal responsibility, I told myself, it was my responsibility as a feminist! I looked up the going rate for professionals in my field in my area, and was surprised to find that my previous salary (which I'd considered very generous) was at the low end of the spectrum. I look around and noted what jobs in the field with published salaries were listed for. I came up with a target number for what I wanted to make.
The first job I was offered made an initial offer of about 8% less than the number I'd arrived at. I told the human resources person with whom I was communicating that I'd like to make my target number, but that I'd consider additional benefits (i.e. more paid vacation days) in lieu of salary if the salary number was non-negotiable. The job had good benefits already, so I felt OK in coming down a bit if I had to, but I started with a strong counter-offer. After a couple of rounds of negotiations, we agreed on a salary right between the one they'd initially offered and the one for which I'd asked, with no additional vacation time. Though it wasn't all I'd wanted, I felt good about having forced myself to go through the process.
That position didn't end up working out -- there was a contract issue between the company for which I was going to work and the company for whom they were staffing, and it fell through. Back to the drawing board.
The next offer I received was for a salary 17% below my target. Again, the job had good benefits, so I was willing to consider a slightly lower salary, but this one seemed far too low. Before I responded to the offer, I re-checked the going rates for my profession in my area. The offer was in the bottom quartile for those with my experience, or even a bit less experience. I countered, saying I would like to make 17% more -- my target number. Again, I told the human resources person that I would consider additional benefits in lieu of compensation. The human resources person was surprised, telling me that I'd been offered the highest salary budgeted for the position. For a moment, I second-guessed myself, thinking I'd made a mistake by asking. I stood my ground, though, and requested that my counter offer be presented to the hiring manager.
This time, the response I got was negative -- the hiring manager refused to increase the salary offer at all, or add additional benefits. In retrospect, as low as the offer was for the field in which I work, I should have turned it down. I was a few months into my job hunt at that point, though, and not feeling very self-confident, so I accepted.
That was the job that didn't work out, at which I was employed for two days. The salary offer I received, I now realize, was an excellent clue to how I should have expected to be treated at that company.
On my third round, I found myself in an enviable situation. I had two competing offers. Initially, one offer was 117% of my target salary, the other was 141% of my target salary. The lower offer included full benefits, though, while the higher one did not. As I considered my decision, I was honest with both companies, telling them about the competing offer.
After I told each of the companies about the other, (without making any requests, save a request for a few days in which to make
