I STARTED HANGING OUT WITH KATE DURING HER DAYS OFF, AND JIM SPENT HIS DAYS AT MY HOUSE ON HIS DAYS OFF. I WAS A BUSY LITTLE BITCH HUH?

EVENINGS I WAS MOM AND WIFE. MONTHS WENT BY LIKE THIS. JIM STILL PERSUED ME WITH MUCH AFFECTION. NOTHING MORE THAN KISSING AND TALKING. LOTS OF TALKING, I MEAN HOURS ON END. SOMETIMES HE WOULD CALL ME FROM WORK, IF HE WAS TEACHING CPR. MOSTLY HE WORKED NIGHTSHIFT WHEN HE WORKED AT THE STATION.HE OFTEN CALLED TO SAY HI AND SEE HOW MY DAY WAS GOING, HOW I WAS FEELING, WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT SOME TOPIC. HE JUST TRIED SO HARD TO GET TO KNOW ME. HE EVEN CALLED A FEW TIMES WHEN KATE WAS THERE, AND WHEN HE SPOKE AND I KNEW IT WAS HIM, I WOULD SAY,”YEAH KATE IS HERE, HOW DID YOU TRACK HER DOWN”?. THEN I WOULD SMILE POLITELY AND HAND KATE THE PHONE AND SAY “YOUR SWEETIE IS ON THE PHONE”. I AM SURE HE WAS AT A LOSS FOR WORDS WHEN SHE SAID “HI” HAPPY TO HEAR FROM HIM. “HIS PROBLEM, NOT MY FAULT I WAS QUICKER THAN HE WAS”…LOL. ABOUT 6 MONTHS WENT LIKE THIS. JIM, SUGGESTED WE GO SOMEWHERE TO BE ALONE, SO WE COULD BE MORE INTIMATE. I SAID OK, OUR RELATIONSHIP HAD SLOWLY GOTTEN MORE AND MORE INTIMATE AND I KNEW IT WAS TIME. I WAS GOING TO DO WHAT I SAID I NEVER WOULD. BUT, LIKE I SAID EARLIER AS MY REALATIONSHIP WITH JIM GREW, THE DISTANCE BETWEEN ME AND LARRY GREW.

THERE WAS MY JUSTIFICATION, HOW LOW COULD I GO. LITTLE DID I KNOW A LOT LOWER. I REALLY DID NOT GIVE MUCH THOUGHT TO KATE, I KNEW AND JIM KNEW, KATE AND I HAD A FRIENDSHIP OF CONVIENCE. HE PLANNED IT THAT WAY SO OUR FAMILIES COULD DO THINGS TOGETHER, SO HE COULD SEE ME MORE. HE PUSHED HER MY WAY CONSTANTLY. BUT, WE DID LIKE EACHOTHER.BUT, I GUESS I WOULD SAY MY TRUE FRIENDSHIP WAS WITH JIM. WELL, ANYWAY WE AGREED TO MEET AT A HOTEL ON THE OUTSIDE OF TOWN. I COULD NOT SLEEP THAT NIGHT AT ALL. I DID NOT WANT TO GO, BUT I DID NOT WANT TO DISSAPPOINT HIM. WHY DID I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT SOMEONE THAT I CARED SO LITTLE FOR? I WILL ASK MYSELF THIS QUESTION FOR YEARS TO COME. THAT NIGHT, I HAD TO THROW LARRY OFF ANY SUSPICION, SO PLAYED THE PERFECT WIFE, WITH THE GREAT DINNER, AND ENDED THE NIGHT WITH A GREATER BLOW JOB. THERE THAT WAS DONE, AND HE WENT TO SLEEP CONTENT THAT I MUST REALLY LOVE HIM. HOW DECIETFUL IS THAT? HERE IS WHERE I BEGAN TO NOT LIKE MYSELF MUCH. I GOT UP SEVERAL TIMES TO LOOK IN ON THE BOYS, I OFTEN DID AT NIGHT WHEN I GOT UP TO USE THE RESTROOM. THEY NEVER KNEW, I WOULD MAKE SURE THEY WERE ALRIGHT AND GIVE THEM A KISS AS THEY SLEPT. BUT, THIS NIGHT I WAS IN THERE MANY TIMES, THINKING ABOUT WHAT THIS WOULD DO TO MY FAMILY IF I GOT CAUGHT AND IT FELT SO WRONG TO ME. THE NEXT DAY, AFTER THE BOYS LEFT FOR SCHOOL, I GOT THE CALL FROM JIM WHERE TO MEET HIM. AND I COULD’NT SAY NO.

WE MET AT A HOTEL ON THE EDGE OF TOWN, IT WAS A CUTE LITTLE PLACE, AT LEAST IT WASN’T A NO-TELL, MOTEL. “OH, YEAH THAT MAKES IT BETTER”! I JUST KEPT FOOLING MYSELF OVER AND OVER. WE GOT TO THE ROOM, AND OF COURSE I WAS SO NERVOUS, HE WAS TOO. SINCE NEITHER ONE OF US HAD DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE. WE GOT INTO BED AND BEGAN BY JUST HOLDING EACH OTHER FOR AN HOUR OR SO. WE TALKED A LITTLE AND THEN BEGAN KISSING AND TOUCHING. HIS HAND WENT UP MY TOP, AND MY MIND KEPT SCREAMING DON’T, DON’T, DON’T. BUT, I DID NOT STOP HIM FROM UNDRESSING BOTH OF US. I COULD NOT DO IT,”PLEASE STOP” I SAID. I JUMPED UP AND PUT MY CLOTHES ON. “I CANNOT DO THIS, I JUST CAN’T, I AM SORRY I CAME HERE AND TOLD YOU I WOULD” , “I JUST CAN’T I AM SORRY”. HE GOT OUT OF BEAD AND PUT HIS ARMS AROUND ME AND SAID, “ITS OK, I UNDERSTAND”. “IT DOES NOT CHANGE THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT YOU”. I CRIED WITH RELIEF, I DID NOT WANT TO LOSE HIS FRIENDSHIP, BUT COULD NOT DO THIS. WE LAYED BACK DOWN AND TALKED OF OTHER THINGS INSTEAD. WE SPENT THE WHOLE AFTERNOON THERE TILL I HAD TO PICK UP THE BOYS FROM SCHOOL.