Alcohol at Teen Parties: Where Is the Line of Responsibility for Parents?

With this case, ridiculous. They laid down the rules, and a gathering of any size can easily mask illicit behaviour. Hell, I was in a federal prison camp, and trust me when I say, those there can cover up sophomoric shenanigans in the blink of an eye. So too can our children. To hold parents accountable does not meet the reasonable person test, because a reasonable person will be bamboozled. I'm troubled by home invasions; bad enough we have those hell bent on harm bursting in. Now we have to worry about local authorities, because it seems the standard is if they see teens gathered, 'let's bust 'em!' Better to park their arses out front, and make certain no one operates an automobile. Hell, I don't care if they test everyone before they get behind a wheel, but my gosh, have some common sense. The more we create a dividing line between police and those of a community, the greater our future problems. If a parent knowingly supplies booze to a party (and not to their own child within the confines of their home) by all means, I can see the need for an arrest. In this case? Asinine.

Whew. Having waded through the story and the comments, it seems most believe law enforcement went overboard with the charges, and I agree.

America has a nasty streak, nasty in that we seem to love to charge everyone. (For disclosure, I have a felony conviction and I earned it, so this isn't an attempt to slide out from under the charge.) We have 5% of the world's population, and 23.5% of the world's inmate population. Since I rather doubt we are disproportionately ill behaved, we need to take a look at how we so liberally toss charges around. (I'm not going to get into all that now, just wish to make sure it is on the table for evaluating the charges against these parents.

America has a second problem. We love a good buzz, but we have this divide between what we love and its consequences. We deal with the consequences by running around making things illegal, to the point of lunacy, employing methodology that only serves to enhance the severity of criminal conduct by driving up price.

We can more easily prevent adolescents from driving than we can from drinking. We changed drinking laws from 18 to 21 (the week of my 18th birthday, it went from 21 to 18, which was the *right* direction, another issue I won't pursue now.) When my eldest, now a new mom, was a teen, we had a simple drinking rule. You can have a drink in this house, and I'll put it in the fridge for you, but... you can only drink it if we are home, if no friends visit, and once you have a drink, you cannot leave the house. Period. I don't care if parents signed and notarised a document saying they were cool with their kid drinking, they were not going to drink on our property. As with everything else, those inclined to drink need to acquire the skill to drink responsibly, and that is not a skill parents should cede to our colleges or the peers of our children.Continued...

The real truth is that not all teens drink. The sad truth is that of those that do, 90 % of the alcohol teens consume occurs while binge drinking. Alcohol is an addictive drug, and kills more teens than all other drugs combined. It is the third-leading preventable cause of death in the U.S. for the general population.

Adults must stop making arguments that are more supportive of the financial interests of the alcohol industry than of teen health and behavior.

Research is clear and convincing - while education can't be discarded, it doesn't work in preventing teen drinking, particularly when they are being overwhelmed by so many other forces telling them to drink, including parents.

The medical science is far more compelling in defining the harm alcohol causes to the still-developing teen body. Like tobacco products before it, there was a time when "we didn't know what we didn't know." Then we learned. So it is with alcohol.

Forgetting the behavioral problems long associated with alcohol (whether teen or adult), with what we now know about the many serious and confirmed health harms alcohol causes to teen drinkers, it would grossly reckless and irresponsible for adults to lower the drinking age to accommodate more teen drinking.

Adults make a difference. Perhaps a good place to start is by letting children know with certainty that adult life is not about drinking alcohol. With 25% of teens reporting they have seen one or both of their parents drunk, many adults need to concentrate on modeling more mature adult behavior. Their children are watching.

For adults who drink every day, don't think that learning is lost on their children. Just like the use of tobacco products, children learn to use the products you "teach" them to use.

The truth is, teens drink when they are in high school. We can lock down, lock up and lock out, but somehow, some way, they are going to drink. Where should they go? When should parents look the other way? Its one of the most difficult things to deal with when your children are in high school. Any parent who believes they can keep their child from experimenting with alcohol in high school is, in my opinion, missing a "teaching moment" (hate that phrase but oh well).

The emphasis should be on staying safe no matter what. Push for a designated driver no matter where your kids are going - be it a party or a church social.

The drinking age must be lowered to 18 in my opinion. We send our 18 year olds off to fight in our wars, and they are considered responsible enough to cast votes in elections - why shouldn't they be able to drink? It makes no sense to me.

The charges are excessive and ridiculous.

While my children are toddlers, my husband and I have discussed this issue many times. We disagree and I recognize that I am in the minority here.

I come from a family where drinking wasn't a big deal. My parents are from Europe and so drinking was/is a social thing. While I was growing up I didn't have parties with my parents home, but I did have a friend whose parents let us drink at their house. It was usually just a couple of us and we always slept over. When I would go to big parties, I was always the DD. Drinking was never forbidden or outlawed for me, I've never considered it a big deal.

My husband is the other side of the coin and plans on going on lockdown mode.

While I don't expect my children to have parties while I am home...I would prefer to know what is going on.

I'm the mom of two teens. I allow my daughter who is in high school to host movie nights for her friends. Teens need a safe enviroment to hang out. I'd rather welcome them into my home than have them driving around or sitting in restaurants or restaurant parking lots-just so they can be together.

We have never allowed alcohol at our movie nights. I've warned my daughter that her father and I could be in huge trouble if anyone tried to sneak any alcohol into our house. For that reason she makes sure her friends are aware of our wishes and I have been warned about using the plastic red cups. Perfect for hiding alcoholic mixed drinks.

Communication is key. Teens need to be taught about all of the consequences that could occur should they get caught drinking.Like loss of potential college scholarships. And consequences for their parents if their friends drink at their home.

This story won't deter me from having more movie nights.I trust my daughter and her friends. I will use this story to add to the open communication we share about drinking in high school.

Having raised three children to adulthood I can tell you that you can control what goes on in your own home but you have to be at least as tricky as they are.

To this day, my children respect that alcohol is discouraged generally, and not consumed in my home. I can only control what I do, think and say, AND what goes on in my home. What teens do when they are not with you is not really controllable. Part of what you "do" is how you model responsible behavior and part is how you respond when you've discovered untoward behavior. No yelling, just continue to do what's right and remind them of your hopes for their conduct. Taking privileges away works to some degree but they eventually have their own money, car and phone. Forge a good relationship with them when they are small based upon trust, respect and reasonable limit-setting. They generally come around in the end.

Suzi Benoit

Legally they're responsible as well as the parents of the kids who snuck in the alcohol - you are responsible for what happens in your home as well as the behavior of your minor children whether they're home or not. Even so I hope local law enforcement will reduce charges and make sure that the kids who behaved badly will do some community service with the folks at MADD.

The police department has zero tolerance to illegal under age drinking. Parents are responsible to actively supervise children in their home. Consistent enforcement of house rules and public laws is a structure to protect.

Well, I have been in similar circumstances and fortunately for Bill there is media this time and it appears to be postive towards him. What eventually happens unfortunately still may have a lot of twists and turns. I think Bill may be a victim of a hungry justice system (monetarily and/or politically) and be able to afford to feed it, making him a prime victim. I put on my facebook that he could end up with more time then Lyndsay Lohan. At least they did not attach some other potential charges and also give him some easy bail like a $10,000 per charge (the system sees it as easy as that is low, but for Bill you come up with 440k). Part of my point....the "44" is a number that sticks in favor of making some police department look good and if there was something found on the property, then they will probably be minimally right. (also note that some low grade lawyers bill by the charge, so again feeding the system as this may cost Bill the low fee of $1000 per charge and the first thing his lawyer does is challenge the prosecutor in discovery and these get lowered to exactly how many they can prove drank or had it in possession). Lawyer still gets 44,000K. He may end up with court costs as well even though in the end he may get nothing more then probation and dismissed with a chance to expunge (which costs money too). As long as there was something at that party, he is stuck....but a decent lawyer will get this to almost nothing. His job however again depends on how people react. These officers may be in competition to keep their jobs with forces being cut everywhere....I imagine stopping "44" crimes in progress looks pretty good. The numbers don't come with stories when analyzing cuts to departments. So yes with the painfulness of our mostly greedy legal system we have to make choices. My house is the open house for my kids and their friends. My parents were the same way. You can only do the best that you can and deal with these things as they occur. I love my kids too much to change how I raise them and if I go to jail for doing the best I can, then that is for me and God to sort out, not the secular selfish motivated legal system. The big picture and I don't have the answers is how do we change the paradigm of the legal system both nationally and locally. "All men have the potential to do good"; "All men have the potential to do evil". The law should be about truth and justice not money and greed! I hope you have no idea what I am talking about, but it is playing in theaters everywhere (pun intended)!

I work as a the Youth Development Officer in our community and over the last three years I've held more live music events than I care to count. A condition of entry is that bags are checked and no open drinks bottles are allowed. It's not a major drama and if any young person has an issue with it they can leave. I don't see why parents can't do the same thing.

This is scary. I did my share of underage drinking in high school, some of it with the knowledge of the "party hosts" and some of it without. It's not terribly hard to sneak alcohol in somewhere. I think the parents maybe could have "spied" a little more, but I don't think it warrants the punishment they got.

I think the charges are far too severe, and also agree that the kids who supplied the alcohol, and whoever they got it from should be punished not the host parents. Having said that I think it's unrealistic to think that kids won't drink just because it's illegal. I think it's a parents' responsibility to teach kids how to drink responsibly. I finished high school in Europe where the attitude towards alcohol and the laws are more relaxed. I went to bars with my friends, my parents knew it and were ok with it, but one big plus was the public transportation. No one ever drove home.

Many of my American friends were not allowed to drink in high school (although I know they did anyway), but once they got to college and away from their parents watchful eyes, many went overboard.

I don't know exactly how to teach my kids how to drink responsibly but think we're being naive if we truly think that they won't do it, just because it's illegal. Luckily I have a few years to figure it out as my oldest is 7.

Of course, we can never be 100% certain what our children will be doing 100% of the time, but I think it would have been a good idea if the parents insisted that the door to the party room (basement) be kept open, and if the kids knew the parents would randomly be coming down to "fill snacks" etc. Kids are less likely to take risks when the parents will be in and out of the party. Also, spying on them is not a bad thing - good use for a baby monitor up on a shelf or whatever...and let your child know the spying will be happening.

and somehow my sister-in-law used throw parties for her teenaged sons and openly let them drink despite being under age. They did take their keys up front and let them spend the night if need be. Then again there were kids so drunk they passed out in the backyard. Adults were present and participating in the drinking as well if it was a family event. *sigh*

Something similar happened to parents out in my area a few years ago. I remember reading and hearing about it on the news. I think this is a tad bit excessive just like I thought it then. Should they have done spot checks? Yes and maybe they did. Too many odd circumstances though in my book that need additional looking into.

Of course this will deter parents from hosting parties for teens! Who would risk their freedom, career, livelihood, and more? Would you bet your life on whether or a not a teen will tell the truth? NO one with any sense would. Parents shouldn't host teen parties anyway, really. The teens old enough to get and sneak liquor are old enough to figure out how to drink in parking lots, empty fields, empty houses, the woods, and so on. Let them do it. No reason to involve others in the consequences of their nascent addictions.

What I'm curious about is family celebrations. What if wine is served at a Thanksgiving dinner? With 20 relatives? Even if the kids and teens don't have it, wouldn't such a situation fall under this same law? This is very interesting. Basically seems to be moving toward a legal position that no alcohol can be served in homes with children under 18.

I also feel the charges were excessive. Were all 44 kids drinking? How many of them knew ahead of time? How many of them chose not to drink even when they found out?

Furthermore, why isn't the teen who brought the alcohol being punished?

I understand that this law exists to protect our children. I get that. But sometimes the punishment doesn't fit the crime, especially when someone else was going out of their way to lie/sneak. I don't care if that someone was a minor. And actually, I'd like to find out if that teen was 18 -- then that teen should take on the punishment, not the parents.

I think, at the very least, parents should be paying attention to this story. It scares me that I could be held totally accountable for some other parent's teenager who made bad decisions. And that's another point: are the parents of the responsible teen(s) also being charged? How did they get the alcohol? Did they steal it from mom and dad or did mom and dad supply or did an older sibling? Too many variables to smack the blame on this one parent.

I think the charges are terribly excessive. The teens that snuck the alcohol in must have some responsibility in this. My question is who and how did the person that made the call to the police know about the alcohol? It almost sounds like a strange set up. Teenagers do love drama and perhaps someone was out to cause some. Well, if that was their intention, they certainly succeeded.

Wow. That is scary. I think the charges were excessive, especially if they interviewed the couple's children and confessed they snuck it in. Yes, I know the kids could lie and all that, but I think the teens are old enough to have their statements taken into account.

I also believe though that the parents should have done surprise checks to make sure no one was being sneaky, though maybe they had and the resourceful teens were still able to keep it under wraps.

I would wonder who was the squealer maybe? And 44 teens? That may be common someplaces, but I'm thinking, with that many teens they needed help with chaperones.

I agree with you, I want to be the house where my son and his friends can come and hang out safely, but it makes you second guess yourself as it may be a risky move if there were to be one slipup.

Good story, thanks!