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I have worked in the field of technology for about 25 years but I still don’t know how to program my cell phone. I explained it to a client one time, saying, “I’m a practitioner of philosophical technology”—meaning I can talk about it without actually doing anything about it.
This philosophy extends to never reading manuals associated with any form of technology, even my landline phone. I believe everything is plug n’ play (and why not, I wrote a lot of the copy that said it was).
Technology was pretty straightforward in the 80’s, but in the 1990’s things like streaming video came along. I triumphed over that technology by getting a company to pay me to launch a website that streamed short films, without actually owning a computer that would let me see the films.
Eventually I upgraded—and my troubles began. There was a lot more to plug before I could play. I could have read the manual, of course, but I find them pretty boring. So instead I gave them to Wally and the Snapper, who were by then 7 and 8 and old enough to learn about bits and bytes, if not the birds and the bees.
It was such a successful strategy that I never again even took the shrink wrap off the manuals. I would just give the technology to my sons and said, “Hey, let’s play, ‘take your son to work day’.” Wally is now majoring in physics and I like to believe I had a hand in his interest in science and technology.
I have stayed ahead of the curve, philosophically speaking. I got into Skype several years ago, video conferencing several years ago and Twitter last year. Just last week the Snapper and I were out to dinner and the TV in the bar had a story on about Twitter. The Snapper asked, “What is that?” and I was able to discourse at length. Hey, I can’t throw a football but my sons know who to come to for the latest in technological trends.
Last week I finally upgraded to a new cell phone. My first instinct was to put it aside for when I had time to take it to the cell phone store, where they could do it all for me. But the Snapper was pestering me because he wanted my old phone (his is currently held together by duct tape—don’t ask).
After several days of moving the instructions from the kitchen counter to the dining room table and back again, I finally read them and learned I could program my phone myself and move all the contacts by going online. I did it! I didn’t even get bored and terminate the application before it had fully downloaded. I transferred all my photos and my contact list. When the Snapper came home yesterday, I displayed my updated and function
al new phone, which, let’s be honest, I bought because it has a screen large enough for me to see without my glasses. But I didn’t say this to him. Instead I said, “Look! I downloaded all the data myself! Doesn’t it look great?”
He casually picked up the phone and scrolled through the pictures. Then he said, “Mom, you should have just bought the Jitterbug phone for old-heads” and left the room.
Meaning, no matter how ahead of the curve I think I am, I will always be pre Y2k for my
