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I am a married mama of two living in the great state of Texas. I blog, I live frugally, I parent, I play, I write. Join me on my blog Family Friendly...
 
 
 
 

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All Frugal People Are Poor

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misconceptions about frugal living

Recently I was chatting with a friend of mine who confessed something to me. She told me that she adores my blog, but won’t follow it publicly because she doesn’t want her friends thinking she’s poor. I have to admit, I was a bit offended at first.

Once I recovered from the shock, I settled into confusion. This woman is actually one of the wealthiest friends I have. She lives in a very nice home, in a very nice neighborhood and her children attend private school. I can’t think of anyone who would look at this woman and ever make the assumption that she was hurting for money. Not to mention, her husband’s career (which I won’t mention because it gives up a bit too  much personal information) is in an incredibly lucrative field where he makes well over 6 figures (and that’s kind of a given with the work he does…).

She was nervous people would think she was poor simply for publicly following my blog?Really?

~So if frugal people are poor, what does she think of me?~

The more I thought about it though, I guess I can understand. You see, I’m a pretty open book person. People know when things are good for us, and they also know when they are bad. I have never hesitated saying, “Nah, we’re kind of broke right now so we’re going to have to decline.” or ” We’re saving up for “x” so we aren’t spending money on “y” right now.”. That just doesn’t bother me. I do know that not everyone enjoys the same flippancy when it comes to discussing their finances however (although people seem to be quite open when talking with meabout it…I guess because they know I would never ever judge someone’s financial situation).

Why though?

Now don’t get me wrong, I understand not talking facts, figures and salaries. I don’t talk about that stuff either. Not only is that way too much information, it also can come across as bragging (or in some cases, seeking pity).

The problem my friend had (and don’t worry, I got the total okay to write this post keeping her as anonymous as possible!) with publicly following a frugal living blog was that her love of freebies, coupon shopping and bargains would make her seem poor to her other friends.

So that leads me to ask…why do people immediately assume that all frugal people are poor?

~Frugal and poor are not mutually exclusive…not by a long shot~

That’s why I chose the misconception that all frugal people are poor as the first posting in my Misconceptions About Frugal Living Series. Because it is…it’s a total misconception. Just look at some of world’s richest people who claim “I’ve Got Billions, but Don’t Like To Spend It” . My friend is another obvious case of someone living frugally who is nowhere near poor.

In fact, the truly frugal often are the wealthiest of their peers because they are so cautious with their income.

So let’s bust this frugal living misconception:

Sure some are frugal because they have to

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alysia75 5 pts

I don't think being frugal necessarily has anything to do with being poor, or with one's financial situation at all. Finding deals is fun!

FamilyFrugal 5 pts

Cheese is definitely worth the extra $.20! LOL...but we don't often get drinks. Not worth the $2.

Family Friendly Frugality ( http://www.familyfriendlyfrugality.com/ )-Want to learn about frugal living? 

A Southern Mom Loses Weight ( http://www.asouthernmom.com )-I will lose 100 lbs in 2011. Watch me.

FamilyFrugal 5 pts

When I first started blogging I was hesitant to let family and friends know about my blog because although they knew about my crazy, they had never really seen it in black and white. ;)

Family Friendly Frugality ( http://www.familyfriendlyfrugality.com/ )-Want to learn about frugal living? 

A Southern Mom Loses Weight ( http://www.asouthernmom.com )-I will lose 100 lbs in 2011. Watch me.

FamilyFrugal 5 pts

I almost deleted that out. It's the teensiest bit snarky. I am no stranger to snark, but I try to keep my online presence pretty snark free, LOL

Family Friendly Frugality ( http://www.familyfriendlyfrugality.com/ )-Want to learn about frugal living? 

A Southern Mom Loses Weight ( http://www.asouthernmom.com )-I will lose 100 lbs in 2011. Watch me.

FamilyFrugal 5 pts

He has no problem with me using coupons or shopping strategically...but I doubt he'd ever use 10 coupons in one transaction because he'd be embarrassed (I admit, I was too the first time).

Family Friendly Frugality ( http://www.familyfriendlyfrugality.com/ )-Want to learn about frugal living? 

A Southern Mom Loses Weight ( http://www.asouthernmom.com )-I will lose 100 lbs in 2011. Watch me.

FamilyFrugal 5 pts

I'll be posting post #2 in this series tomorrow ;)

Family Friendly Frugality ( http://www.familyfriendlyfrugality.com/ )-Want to learn about frugal living? 

A Southern Mom Loses Weight ( http://www.asouthernmom.com )-I will lose 100 lbs in 2011. Watch me.

BringUpBee 5 pts

California doesn't know about double coupons either. At least not in my area.

jennyvag 5 pts

I'm not poor, but I love to save where I can! Who wouldn't?! I openly talk with friends about how much I saved using coupons or scoring an item during a great sale. Often times, I get them interested in shopping for sales too!

I feel a little bad for your friend for having to hide something she likes (your blog) from her other "friends."

IWantThursdays 5 pts

I sometimes feel that my husband secretly feels this way. Not intentionally, but sometimes some of the things he does completely countermands what we are trying to do by living frugally. Or by saying something that I feel is private (like how much our house cost).

I agree: frugal is not poor, but I think we have a long battle to fight before the masses see it that way.

tara

More of me at: http://iwantthursdays.blogspot.com

sassymonkey 6 pts moderator

Cheese is always worth the extra 20 cents. It's *cheese*. lol

Contributing Editor Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

lightpoints 5 pts

Call me poor…and then call me ten years from now. love that!

Grace Hwang Lynch 7 pts

I've noticed this for many years. The same friends who live in verrry nice homes with great jobs, etc. won't pay an extra 20 cents for a slice of cheese on their burger. In fact, I'd venture to say their frugal ways help them to live save money for bigger things.

Quite honestly, I think growing up without things may contribute to an attitude of wanting to have the image of having nice things, and treating oneself to things you couldn't have.

But I do understand the fear of being perceived as poor. The thought crossed my mind as I started blogging about my effort to give up clothes shopping for a year. Ultimately, I decided the benefit of doing this experiment and sharing it with others outweighed whatever judgements people might have.

Grace Hwang Lynch blogs about changing her shopaholic ways at A Year (Almost) Without Shopping ( http://ayearalmostwithoutshopping.blogspot.com/ ) and also about  life

victorias_view 18 pts moderator

I believe by having a budget and sticking to it - is the best way to live :)

I prefer to save, developed new found love for groupons, and read the fliers on a regular basis. We drive two little cars and if we're judged for that - all I have to say is no car payment and money in the bank :)

sassymonkey 6 pts moderator

But nothing like the couponing you see in the US and definitely no double-coupons. I used to hear about it tv shows and thought it was something that only existed in tv and movies. ;)

Contributing Editor Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

lisanoel03 5 pts

I'm not the BIGGEST couponer or frugalist out there by any means but it makes me CRAZy when my friends comment about stuff we do and how "wow, I wish we could afford to do that" but yet when they ask about how I actually do it, it's always "oh, I don't have time for using coupons"
The things that makes me most crazy is that these people are often living on a significantly larger income than I am but bemoaning the fat that I can take my kids to a ball game or a one night stay at a water park. It's all about priorities in my book and I will gladly take a little extra time to save on the things we need so I have a tiny bit extra to do some fun stuff and make memories with my kids.

Desi Valentine 12 pts

We're not intentionally frugal people, though our renewed commitment to the environment has indirectly made it so. We make homemade as much as we can, buy used goods when possible, purchase from bulk bins, compost, and are working toward growing our own food.

The consequence? A much smaller household budget (yay!), and several friends and clients who think we're broke (bizarre).

Thanks for posting this!

FamilyFrugal 5 pts

One of the most famous frugal billionaires!

Family Friendly Frugality ( http://www.familyfriendlyfrugality.com/ )-Want to learn about frugal living? 

A Southern Mom Loses Weight ( http://www.asouthernmom.com )-I will lose 100 lbs in 2011. Watch me.

FamilyFrugal 5 pts

not in the projects, but when my dad left my mom after 16 years of marriage (and being a stay at home mom), we ended up on every kind of assistance you could think of while she tried to pull us up and out of it. She died before that was possible...but I think what I dealt with back then makes me so much more thankful and appreciative of every bit I have today.

So much of being content with your financial circumstances is about attitude. Sounds like you have the right attitude and you are happier because of it!

Family Friendly Frugality ( http://www.familyfriendlyfrugality.com/ )-Want to learn about frugal living? 

A Southern Mom Loses Weight ( http://www.asouthernmom.com )-I will lose 100 lbs in 2011. Watch me.

FamilyFrugal 5 pts

We are nowhere near rich. I'm not sure we ever will be. But we are working our way towards wealth, which in my opinion is totally different.
Wealth, to me, is more than just a six figure income!

Family Friendly Frugality ( http://www.familyfriendlyfrugality.com/ )-Want to learn about frugal living? 

A Southern Mom Loses Weight ( http://www.asouthernmom.com )-I will lose 100 lbs in 2011. Watch me.

FamilyFrugal 5 pts

I love antiques and buying used and living "lightly on earth" (I might borrow that, LOL).
Gardening though? That was my frugal failure of 2010, LOL. I'm hopeful to do better this year though!

Too many critters in my back yard!

Family Friendly Frugality ( http://www.familyfriendlyfrugality.com/ )-Want to learn about frugal living? 

A Southern Mom Loses Weight ( http://www.asouthernmom.com )-I will lose 100 lbs in 2011. Watch me.

FamilyFrugal 5 pts

Canada doesn't have many coupons? This isn't the first time I've heard this. That's unfortunate! Coupons save me so much money.

There needs to be a Canadian call out for more coupons!

Family Friendly Frugality ( http://www.familyfriendlyfrugality.com/ )-Want to learn about frugal living? 

A Southern Mom Loses Weight ( http://www.asouthernmom.com )-I will lose 100 lbs in 2011. Watch me.

FamilyFrugal 5 pts

Thanks for letting me know! I'll have to check them out!

Family Friendly Frugality ( http://www.familyfriendlyfrugality.com/ )-Want to learn about frugal living? 

A Southern Mom Loses Weight ( http://www.asouthernmom.com )-I will lose 100 lbs in 2011. Watch me.

ThePlusSizePrincess 5 pts

I've always thought that frugal people were smart! Just because you make good money doesn't mean you have to spend every penny of it unwisely. I grew up on dirt poor, on welfare and living in the projects, but when I think of my childhood, my most prominent memories are those of family togetherness, church and just an overall feeling of happiness and safety - which I wouldn't trade for a million dollars. :)

I'm "poor" now and I wouldn't change a thing! My husband works part time {by choice} I work from home {by choice} and although we have pretty much no money, our bills are paid we have almost zero debt and we do not get any type of assistance.

Wonder how much debt your friend has on her credit cards and how much her car payments are? I have zero credit card debt, both of my cars are paid for and I still pick up cans to recycle for cash. :)

The Plus Size Princess ( http://www.theplussizeprincess.com ) :: diets & dachshunds & cakes & calories & tiaras & Tosca & marathons & muscles & walking & weights & trying to live healthily ever after.

Bekah 5 pts

Oh my goodness yes! I mean...on the wealth scale we certainly arent at the top. My husband is a teacher, I am a stay at home mom, that should tell you enough. And yet...we have money to put into our savings account after each paycheck, and we have no credit cards. I get side-eyed by my ILs for shopping at discount grocery outlets, or for a dented box/off brand name, but honestly, I just dont even care anymore. It used to embarrass me, but I know that my efforts to cut our grocery bill WAY down have dramatically impacted our life. In fact, at one point we were completely convinced there was no way in heck I would be able to stay home with Jack, and yet...here we are. We arent rich, but we arent poor. We are happy, and we live within our means, with an eye on our future.

grannysu 5 pts

I know some of my sons have never really understood why I prefer buying used (cheaper and recycling at the same time), raise a garden (fresh, I know what's in it, and cheaper!), or do many of the things we do as part of our normal lifestyle. One said,, "Mom you make good money now, you don't have to do that."

My salary isn't the point. Living lightly on the earth is, and why spend for something new when I can get antique, vintage or next-to-new for a fraction of the cost--and have something different and probably worth keeping in the bargain? Just doesn't make sense to me.

Granny Sue Stories from the Mountains and Beyond www.grannysu.blogspot.com ( http://www.grannysu.blogspot.com ) susannaholstein@yahoo.com

sassymonkey 6 pts moderator

The people in my life that I know that probably have the biggest income live the most frugally. They live comfortably below their means. I strive to be more like them.

I don't often clip coupons because well, I live in Canada. We don't have coupons anywhere near the same level that Americans do. I have no doubt if we did that my husband would be all about seeing how much he could save with coupons, especially since right now money is tight (which I have no problems saying) due to the fact that we bought a house in the past year. We do what we can.

Contributing Editor Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

betsyrbeck 5 pts

Very Interesting! I just now printed Coupons of my Favorite Brands for free from "Printapons" you can find them online.

FamilyFrugal 5 pts

I really couldn't agree with you more. I think you hit the nail on the head:
"Being frugal is about living within your means - whether it is how you grew up, or the result of living outside of your means - and is something all people should consider."

No matter what started you on the path to frugal living...living frugally is just about the smartest financial decision anyone of any income bracket could make!

Family Friendly Frugality ( http://www.familyfriendlyfrugality.com/ )-Want to learn about frugal living? 

A Southern Mom Loses Weight ( http://www.asouthernmom.com )-I will lose 100 lbs in 2011. Watch me.

Buddy Bits 5 pts

I'm not ashamed to admit I'm frugal. Nor am I ashamed to admit that while in college I was sucked into using credit cards, which I am still paying for. But to admit that frugal and poor are the same thing - never! Being frugal is about altering your lifestyle - and it is an honorable thing to do. Being frugal now means that later in life, you may be able to purchase a new car in cash and eliminate car payment hell. Being frugal now means that you may be able to retire early and not worry about your future. Being frugal now means that no matter what happens to the economy, you won't have to worry, because you didn't spend your money as you got it.

Being frugal is about living within your means - whether it is how you grew up, or the result of living outside of your means - and is something all people should consider. I do understand your friend's predicament, however, I think it is because of a society that has deemed frugal as cheap and poor. Shame on society for causing us to think this way.