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All I Want For Christmas Is No More Jerry Lewis Telethons

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When my nephew, my sister's youngest boy, was diagnosed with Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy, I started paying attention to Jerry Lewis and his 'kids.' This was, of course, after wailing and weeping and rending my garments. I think that it might be the third stage of terminal illness/disability grief: looking for famous examples of said illness/disability and/or advocacy thereof. I looked to Jerry, because his telethons were all I knew of muscular dystrophy.

That was a mistake.

The telethons are uniformly upsetting to anyone who loves a child with muscular dystrophy (and, presumably, any person with muscular dystrophy or any related or comparable condition): as Anna Palindrome pointed out in Bitch magazine last week, Jerry treats his 'kids' like helpless, gibbled waifs whose only hope in life is to have bigger, stronger people pity them and maybe toss a few coins their way. This has provoked nearly two decades of protests from groups representing persons with disabilities, but such protests have fallen on deaf ears: why would anyone protest Jerry? Who does such good? For the kids? When protesters turned their attention this year to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, who were honoring Jerry Lewis for his humanitarianism, the Academy brushed them off: Jerry, after all, is a hero. What would these kids do without him?

Well, they'd retain some dignity, for starters. From Anna Palindrome:

"Telethons and donation drives raise a lot of money, and the best way they do that is by showing the general public an image that will invoke either pity or outrage. Pity is often easier, so over and over, in an effort to raise funds to "help" people with disabilities, the worst, saddest, most pathetic images one can come up with are shown. In the end, this "help" leads to the final image in people's heads: having a disability is horrible, pathetic, and sad, and we should all feel nothing but pity for people trapped in the prison of their own body."

My nephew, Tanner's, life is spent battling this image. He's barely ten years old, and he's spent more than half his life struggling to be seen as just a regular kid, a kid who has some challenges, for sure, but a kid who is not defined by those challenges. But he has muscular dystrophy and he's in a wheelchair and he's dying and since preschool, basically, every kid and parent and teacher who has met him, with very exceptions, has treated him as sick and pitiable. This would probably happen, to some extent, without Jerry's telethons and other media that present persons with disabilities as pitiable, but those things certainly make it worse.

And, as Anna Palindrome points out, it's not just Jerry and muscular dystrophy:

"The Jerry Lewis Telethon isn't the only regular event that reminds people that Disability = Bad/Horrible/Awful/Pity. We can't forget the campaigns by Autism Speaks, an organisation supported by Lindt Chocolate and Alfonso Cuaron, amongst many other famous names. They produce videos like "I am Autism" (the video can be seen at the Bitch site, where you can also find a link to the transcript) ... In summary: Autism is horrible and scary and bad but all these people who don't have autism are coming together and they'll fight it! They'll make it all better! They have a VOICE! (Not heard: actual people with autism.)"

Programs to help persons with autism or with muscular dystrophy or any other disability or condition are great inasmuch as they serve that purpose: getting help to people who need it. Yes, funding research into muscular dystrophy is important: my nephew will die from Duchenne's, but hopefully, someday, there'll be treatment that will prevent other boys from dying. In the meantime, however, Tanner needs support in maintaining quality of life. He needs support so that he can try to live out his life, so far as possible, comfortably and enjoyably and not - NOT - as a pitiable freak. Getting funds to support swim therapy isn't as sexy as SAVING HIS LIFE WITH A CURE or PUTTING AN END TO MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY, but it matters more to his daily life. And to the extent that shock-and-awe campaigns put all of the attention on POOR POOR DYING KIDS LIKE TANNER who will NEVER WALK AGAIN and who NEED OUR HELP because they are HELPLESS and OH GOD aren't you THANKFUL that YOUR kids aren't like Tanner??? These just hurt him, and everybody who loves him.

(Those of you who

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suebob 7 pts

My sis, who had Multiple Sclerosis, complained that the MS Society fundraisers were all things that people with advanced MS couldn't do, like hundred-mile bike rides. "Can't they have 'Sitting Quietly for MS'?" she joked. She was so mad about that and other things that she asked me not to volunteer for them.

Here's a short film about autism made by an autistic man, Taylor Cross, when he was still in high school. I think it is charming though not nearly long enough. Last I heard, he was working on a feature-length version.

It does make the point, through the words of those interviewed, that they are mostly ok with being autistic and are certainly not full of self-pity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYu-s8VVCKk

califmom 5 pts

As the mother of an autistic child who also has Tourette Syndrome, I've had the opportunity to witness firsthand how organizations representing the disabled can do it right and do it wrong ( http://asansouthwestohio.blogspot.com/2009/09/auti... ). As you said, Autism Speaks gets is all wrong. They do not speak for my son. He speaks for himself.

By contrast, the Tourette Syndrome Association ( http://tsa-usa.org/ ) actively involves people of all ages with Tourette Syndrome. They have a youth ambassador program to help educate communities about Tourette Syndrome. Ambassadors are young people with or without Tourette Syndrome. Both groups are encouraged to apply. The point isn't to create "poster children" for Tourette Syndrome, it's to create a group of young people who can educate their peers. In addition, TSA offers resources that focus on helping individuals with Tourette Syndrome lead full and successful lives in their communities, in addition to funding research into medical treatment.

AmberS 5 pts

I actually have never seen the Jerry Lewis telethon. However, I feel the same way about other telethons I have seen. There is a definite bias towards portraying the very worst cases in the most pitiable light possible. Perhaps it's effective, but I feel that it's exploitative on some level.

When my daughter was born prematurely and in the NICU, the images I'd seen from telethons and television haunted me. I had a totally skewed vision of the experience, and that was not helpful. I can no longer watch any telethons at all, I am just not willing to expose myself to that level of emotional manipulation anymore. I will donate to charities that I consider worthy, but not at telethon time.

~ Amber

www.strocel.com ( http://www.strocel.com )

Suzanne 5 pts

There is a guy in my MFA program who is obsessed with Jerry Lewis and wrote very academic papers about his comic genius, as well as his involvement in telethons.  I wanted to gouge my eyes out.  Not only do I agree with you that the telethons are not very respectful to the people they are helping, but I believe Lewis made several nasty remarks about women not being funny.  He is definitely on my shit list.  I'm too tired to make a joke here, but I really want to.

Suzanne also blogs at Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants ( http://cussandotherrants.com ) and is the author of Off the Beaten (Subway) Track ( http://offthebeatensubwaytrack.com ).

Her Bad Mother 5 pts

(I'm sorry if that last comment sounded snarky. It's more about me and my reactions than your comment.)

Her Bad Mother 5 pts

And... Tanner is fighting a disease, but he IS also fighting an image. The quality of the life he leads - the only life he has - and it's a really f*cking short one - is directly affected by how people treat him. And if people treat him as pitiable - and they have, and it's hurt him - then his all-too-brief life is made a lot less happy and he just doesn't have enough happiness to waste it on people treating him like shit, yanno?

Her Bad Mother 5 pts

I'm not just coming up with this out of the blue. Organizations for people (OF people) with MD have been protesting Jerry Lewis for decades, have been fighting to get the way they're portrayed CHANGED. Jerry Lewis disregards these protests. Jerry Lewis, for his part, is on record as saying that if you don't want to be pitied for being in a wheelchair, you *shouldn't leave the house.* He defends his use of pity-exploitation, because HE thinks - he SAYS - these kids are pitiable.

Tanner does not want to be pitied. Tanner wants to hold his head high.

Media events like Jerry's telethons do a lot to shape how kids with MD are seen. I think that they could be doing things differently. I think that they SHOULD be doing things differently. I think that we should aim higher than 'well, so what if it's flawed, at least he's doing something.' The flaws with how people with MD are presented in the media HURT those people - just ask Tanner. Ask the writer of the original article. We should accept that as an acceptable cost? Why? There are other organizations, other efforts - why not throw our support behind those? And/or increase the pressure for organizations like Jerry's to do things differently?

I'm not saying that anyone who gives money to or supports MDA - or watches a telethon - is bad. God, no. I'm saying - I said - we should exert whatever pressure we can to make those things better. And not turn a blind eye to the failings of efforts like Jerry's just because they're *efforts*. The kids deserve better. Tanner deserves better.

mommyneedstherapy 5 pts

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I find it very interesting that you view the telethon that way. I've watched it since I was a young child. I started volunteering for MDA when I was 16 because of Jerry and the telethon. I spent 15 summers working with kids with MD at their summer camps. In those 15 years I have worked one-on-one with five boys. I have known over 60 very closely. I have loved and lost many children to this horrible disease.

In fact, I was just talking with a boy that I personally took care of at camp from the time he was 6 until he was 11 and “graduated” into the older boy’s cabin. He's now 24, a college graduate, working, and enjoying life. I talk with his mother frequently too and we talk about how much he has achieved, and we talk about how his health is declining, and how he is able to do less and how painful it is to know he probably won't be with us when he's 30. She calls me whenever she hears that one of the boys I took care of passes on. We cry together. And she calls me his second mom.

But back to your message…

Are they broken? Well, uhhh...yes, their body is. But that doesn't mean their spirit is or their mind is.

Sadly it is human nature to look at a person that is "different" in some way and react to that. It is ignorance and it is up to each and every one of us that knows better to educate other people.

But seriously...you think a telethon is responsible for that? Of course it relies on shock and pity. Because it works to get people to donate! And the money that the telethon raises is what pays for things like summer camp, and research, and treatments, and therapy. I saw it first hand for 15 years! And I still see it with the kids that I continue to be in contact with. 

Not once in those 15 years, or since, has one of those children (many who are adults now) ever told me they hate the telethon, or that they felt it portrayed them in a negative way.

You say "telethons are uniformly upsetting to anyone who loves a child with muscular dystrophy" and I disagree! I see stories of hope. I see stories of real families that feel real pain and are getting real help from an organization that raises much of its money via a telethon.

Your nephew isn't battling an image, he's battling a disease! And that f*ck*ng sucks, no doubt about it.

It is going to take money to find a cure, and again, it sucks that there probably isn't going to be one found in time for your nephew, or for the boys that I have cared for and loved over the last 25 years.

Do you know what an article like this is going to do? It is going to turn people away from an organization like MDA that helps people; because you have a voice that people listen to.  “Well Catherine says the telethon is bad, bad, bad. I’m not going to donate my money there.”

I don’t think everything Jerry does or says is funny. He frequently fails on the PC exam. His humor is from a different era. But he is still doing something that is important to him and that is helping many, many children and families. But if you can show me corruption in the MDA organization, or give me proof that Jerry has done truly horrible things (and I don't think just because you don’t like his sense of humor that qualifies as something horrible) then I’ll rethink the telethon.

And just to put things in perspective, I have a son with multiple disabilities. But they aren’t physical. They are mental and behavioral. I don’t have to deal with him being treated with pity every day; I just deal with being thought of as a crappy parent, or people thinking he is a “bad” kid.

Obviously you hit a nerve with me…  

Her Bad Mother 5 pts

... in my opinion. Precisely because it ISN'T a televised pity party. End of day, when it comes to kids with MD (or any such condition), it *does* fall to 'big strong men and women' to do much of the heavy lifting (firefighters raising money for kids with Duchenne's - same thing). But it can be done in such a way as respects the dignity of those kids, and that works to fight the stereotypes of them being weak and sickly and pitiable and broken, so that they can feel strong in spirit, keep their heads held high.

(A good example, though, of someone with MD doing it for themselves: Darius of Darius Goes West, a young man with MD raising money on his own iniative. We need to be celebrating this kind of thing more than the Jerry approach, I think. http://dariusgoeswest.org/)

JennaHatfield 10 pts

I am interested, however, in your opinions on the IAFF and the work they do every year for the Fill the Boot campaign for the MDA. Is that acceptable or not as it is still, using your words above, big strong men and women doing the money raising. I am honestly not provoking here. I ask because my husband has gladly participate every year in the IAFF Fill the Boot campaign. Considering the money technically then goes through the Jerry's Kids campaign, is this something unacceptable? Is the fundraising okay at the local level if it isn't a televised, visual pity party?

I'm just honestly concerned which is why I ask.

@FireMom ( http://twitter.com ) from Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com )