Am I Writing A Post About Break-ups? Really?
By Zandria on October 26, 2008
BlogHer Original Post
Every so often in my blog reading, I’ll come across a post about the ending of a romantic relationship. If the post is especially good and/or thought provoking, I’ll save the link for later. I figured that at some point, since I do write about single life, a post about break-ups would fit right in.
The only thing is, it’s a little difficult to write about break-ups if you’re not currently going through one yourself. I mean, the topic can be a little depressing -- why would you want to bring up those memories if you don’t have to? And if you’re like me, maybe you haven’t had enough break-ups to be able to talk about the subject only in general terms (indeed, maybe there have been so few break-ups in your life that the people close to you will know exactly who you’re talking about).
If I really wanted to, I could write a doozy of a break-up post. It has drama, a touch of revenge, and unexpected plot twists (including a visit to a tattoo shop). And you know what? A lot of it has already been written. I wrote the post months ago, back when I felt like I was finally getting over this particular break-up but I knew I wasn’t completely over it.
I wrote the post with the intention of putting it up on my blog with password-only access so it wouldn’t be available for the entire world to see. But when I was finished, something unexpected happened: I found that the writing itself was cathartic. I felt so much better. All those thoughts that had been churning around in my head were finally out in black and white, and I no longer felt the need to post the story for other people to read.
I’m not saying that I would never post it (with password protection intact, of course). It’s just that, if I posted it now, I’d have to deal with the comments and I’d have to respond to them. These events are in my past, both of us have moved on, and I don’t feel the need to relive it.
When writing a break-up post, some people use the phrase “broken heart” to describe how they’re feeling. I never used that phrase myself. Maybe the feeling of having a broken heart will apply to me (God forbid) in the future, under different circumstances -- but it didn’t apply in this case. My heart was, however, cracked. And once a heart has been cracked, nothing is quite the same after that: you’re more wary; you’re less likely to trust as easily.
Here’s the short version of my break-up post: I had good times, I had bad times. I loved, I lost, I learned. I’m a different person than I once was, but I’m happy with who I am.
Would the short version of your break-up post sound anything like that?
Surfergrrl wrote about the first anniversary of the end of a five-year relationship -- how hard it was to force herself not to contact him, and how difficult it was to go through holidays and birthdays as a newly single person.
Hey Pretty ended a relationship not long ago -- she called the experience “undeniably sad...but also strangely exhilarating.” I know exactly what she means.
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