Amazon Top 100 Memoir Enemy Within By Karen Ager

What Brings About Change in People?

Excerpt from Enemy Within by Karen Ager

"Despite all my efforts, deep down I felt I was changing. My disease was not only influencing my body but also my spirit. The pain was starting to impact every dimension of my life. Until now it had been easy to ignore; it had been easy to deny. I had kicked it under the bed with all my half-read books. I thought I’d get back to it and deal with it later. But it got back to me first. Rheumatoid arthritis was truly forcing itself into my life. No longer could I convince myself that the disease didn’t exist. How much longer could I pretend that I was healthy like my friends? I started to feel the burden of my secret.

Though Geoff tried to support me through these attacks—which I called ‘flares’—as a young, healthy man, my condition was beyond his comprehension. He did, however, learn to use my RA as a way to gain greater control over me. I believed him when he said that no-one, except him, would ever love me because of my illness. I didn’t know it then, but I’d carry this feeling with me for many years to come.

There were some things, however, that I did know—and that knowledge was grim. I wasn’t going to be the carefree, blonde, Aussie girl who lived happily ever after with her sports star boyfriend; there was never to be another family Christmas at our Black Rock home and, for my entire life, I wouldn’t be free of this devil inside.

I changed when I lost my mobility. At first I was angry, now I am at the point where my loss has brought about a positive change within and I'm optimistic. But it took awhile.

How do you think people change.....or don't they?  

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