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Blogging at isthisthemiddle.blogspot.com while meandering the minefield of midlife. I read, write, teach, and laugh as much as possible. Not always i...
 
 
 
 

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American Hitchhiker, American Heart

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He’s doing it. Sean’s* hitchhiking from the middle of America to the Atlantic Ocean.

He left Iowa on Sunday. He’s 24, my former student, a writer. Smart, funny, serious. Tough, hopeful, cynical, vulnerable.

Yes, he’s read Kerouac’s On the Road.

He’s an Iraq war vet-- 2 combat tours, single dad of two boys, a son, a brother, a former Marine.

He currently works as a prison guard in a Midwestern state. Not his first choice of a job, but in this economy, it’s just that, a job. He doesn’t complain. He took the week off from work for this trip.

Sean is staying in daily contact with some friends through Facebook, with brief updates of where he is, how many times a day he was picked up by cops, what rides he got, where he slept.

His mission of discovery asks one big question that has many parts. The big question is—does anyone in America have the heart to take a crazy risk?

The smaller parts of the big question: who will pick up the tall, scruffy, blond guy with the backpack? Will they leave him by the side of the road, cover him with dust, rain, condescension? Refuse to even look at him? Lock him up in jail? Rob him, beat him, leave him in a ditch? Will they take a chance on Sean? Will they fear him?

Sean’s journey makes me look at myself. No way would I pick up a strange hitchhiker of any description, at any time. Well, at least I doubt it greatly. That lesson was drilled in to me at a young age.

Yet I’ll never forget the day my mother, who was 50 at the time, came home and said something about the hitchhiker she’d picked up.

Teenager that I was, I flipped out. How could she pick up a stranger?

“Oh,” she said, “he was just a boy. A college kid, probably. And it was starting to rain.”

How many hitchhikers has my mother picked up in her lifetime? Is she still picking them up? I don’t even want to know. She has a huge heart, but I want her to be safe. Let other people take the risks, is my uncharitable attitude.

But what about Sean?

I’m conflicted. How can I hope or expect other people do what I wouldn’t do? Stop and give Sean a ride? I can’t make any sense of it.

But I want Sean to succeed, to get to New York, to the Atlantic Ocean, to find what he’s looking for. To write a great novel out of the experience, even if that wasn’t his intention. To get home safely to the Midwest.

He’s only trying to find out about America’s heart.

What would you do if you saw Sean on the road? Do you ever, or never, pick up hitchhikers? Have you ever been the hitchhiker, looking for a lift?

*Sean is not his real name.

 

Melanie

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isthisthemiddle 107 pts

If you've been following "Hitchhiker," Patrick (aka Sean) has posted his first person story of the journey on Blogher. Please show him some love if you get the chance.

http://www.blogher.com/rolling-0

KathyArch 5 pts

I hitch hiked EVERYWHERE as a young teen. When I got a license and car, I never, ever passed up any hitch hiker. Always gave them a ride. But that was nearly 40 years ago. Now days I won't pick up anyone. No matter how "harmless" they look. If my car were to break down and I had to walk, I would not accept a ride with anyone. I would ask them to make a call for me instead. Not sure what's changed the most. The world or me. Maybe both.

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

KathyArch That's what I wonder. Are we different, or is the world? Thanks for telling about your days of hitching and for your insights!

JanetJ 5 pts

Forgot to mention the name of the book: Redwood To Deadwood, redwoodtodeadwoodbook.com.

enjoy!

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

JanetJ Hah! And I forgot to check the next post, thanks!

JanetJ 5 pts

HI Enjoyed your hitchhiking post. Must be something in the air: Our book club recently read a riveting book about a middle-aged guy who hitchhiked around the country for three months. And told some really great stories.

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

JanetJ Cool! What was the title? I'd like to read it!

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

Sean update: he made it to Boston! He flew home over the weekend. Made it back safe and sound. I'll interview him and let you know how the trip went!

HomeRearedChef 119 pts

Thank you, Lady, I am looking forward to hearing all the details. isthisthemiddle

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

HomeRearedChef Me too-- he's an extraordinary young man. I think he'd been back from Iraq only about a month when he landed in one of my English classes. He worked his butt off in class and edited the anthology of student work. Guys like Sean give me faith in the future.

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

Not all hitchhikers are homeless people, and Sean is not homeless.

But some hitchhikers are without homes, and this reminds me of when I spent some time in Portland, Oregon, interviewing people at a Catholic church for a book my team was writing. The church's special mission is to feed free lunches daily to the homeless.This church has a lay woman as pastor (lots more of this happening due to priest shortages), and when I called her before I drove over to the church, she gave me directions.

Part of her directions were,"You'll know you're getting close to the church when you start seeing homeless men. Don't be afraid of them. If you get lost, stop and ask one of them how to get to St. Francis."

"Don't be afraid of them." I hadn't realized it, but I was afraid of them. By the time I'd seen the dining hall, met the former homeless people who run it, and spent a few days interviewing people, I understood a little better what the pastor meant. Just because someone is homeless doesn't mean they should be feared.

Just because someone is hitchhiking doesn't mean they should be feared, either, but I still won't be picking one up. I do feel like a hypocrite.

Well, maybe I'd pick up a woman who had car trouble.

victorias_view 312 pts

I have a friends mother who hitchhiked across Canada in the sixties. I was always in awe of her. It would be a spectacular risk but I think it would be a great adventure. If only I was as brave...I also have friends who have their own stories and I was always envious of their on the road lifestyle.

HomeRearedChef 119 pts

You remind me of "Easy Rider," the desire to be liked them, if we could. victorias_view

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

HomeRearedChefvictorias_view The freedom of the open road. At least we can imagine it! Thanks, Virginia!

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

victorias_view I wonder if it is truly more dangerous now, or if it is just that we have a 24 hour news cycle. Are people so different from the way they used to be? I really don't know.

Victoria-- I think you have a bit of the wild child in you-- I hope you never lose that sense of adventure, even if you don't hitchhike!

victorias_view 312 pts

isthisthemiddle I don't know if it is or isn't? In the past I have picked up hitchhikers I lived in a small community and usually knew the person who needed a lift into town. However, a complete stranger I'm not sure if I would...

Is it safe for a woman to hitch hike? I don't know. Times have changed and I think it depends on your intuition. You really have to trust it before getting in the car.

Once upon a time there was a wild child - she is just hibernating until the little ones go off to university ;)

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

victorias_view A hibernating wild child-- I like that. Just be sure to feed that girl some adventure once in a while!

DesiValentine4 99 pts

I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't hitchhike, either, which is a sad reflection on where we've come as a society. There shouldn't be anything wrong with stopping to help someone who needs it, giving someone a lift somewhere to save them a dangerous walk through the night. You know? But it's just so dangerous.

HomeRearedChef 119 pts

That is exactly my point! DesiValentine4

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

HomeRearedChefDesiValentine4 I don't think we can go back to the way it was. Too much has happened, I guess. Too hard to trust.

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

DesiValentine4 Yes, and after my car broke down on the way home from work one night, I was the one walking through the snow on a lonely highway with no cell phone (1993). Thanks for your thoughtful comment!

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

So true that we were taught never, ever, to pick up a stranger. We've heard so many horror stories.

I guess it bothers me because our parents also taught us about charity. Then I also think, what if my husband was broken down and needed a lift? Who would pick him up-- he's tall and could be intimidating to a stranger.

HomeRearedChef 119 pts

I think about that too. What if one of my children, or me, are stranded on the road and need help? But fear keeps us from being "charitable." How sad our lives have become. We are afraid of everything!isthisthemiddle

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

HomeRearedChef I'm really taking a good look at myself through thinking about this question. There's something so American, so adventurous about the lure of the road. I feel an article or two percolating.

KarenLynnn 91 pts

I'm with HomeRearedChef , I just will not pick up a hitchhiker. I've read far too many serial murder books and true stories too, yeah, too much of a chance for me. I wish him the safest travels. i also wish you peace, because i know you are worried.

I am a reformed hitchhiker myself, but back in the early 70's it was safer. not much, but a little safer i guess. ok i was naive and trusting.

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

KarenLynnnHomeRearedChef It's sad in a way that we have heard and read so much about the worst that we almost have to assume that we can't trust a stranger. Yet there are folks, probably a lot more men than women, who do routinely pick up hitchhikers. Why do they do it, I wonder? Thanks for the comment and peace to you, too.

HomeRearedChef 119 pts

LOL! I love that you are "reformed," I feel better now. And I too, Melanie, with you student all the very best. I will keep him in my prayers, if that is alright wit you. (Smile!) KarenLynnn

isthisthemiddle 107 pts

HomeRearedChefKarenLynnn Thanks, Home Reared Chef-- I'm praying, too. He's a good guy with a big future.

HomeRearedChef 119 pts

Wow! That is a very difficult question you ask. First, I've never picked up a hitchhiker. Second, though I've been tempted many time, like you, I've been taught from young that we just "don't!"

I think back about all the horror stories I've heard growing up, the terrible things that happen to either the driver or the hitchhiker. I am not that brave. I will not take a chance.

Great post, Melanie, and very thought provoking.

~Virginia