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It all started when an American girl fell in love with a German boy. In 2001, I started a little website for friends and family to follow our wedding...
 
 
 
 

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The Drunk Driver Who Hit Me Got a Slap on the Wrist

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On Monday the drunk driver who hit me a few months ago -- earlier in my pregnancy -- pleaded guilty to two of the five charges filed against her. She pleaded guilty to two misdemeanors: driving drunk (OVI, or operating a vehicle impaired) and for failure to maintain distance between my vehicle.

The two most serious felony charges -- underage drinking and possession of drug paraphernalia, which could have simply been beer bottles in the car -- were dismissed as part of the plea deal. The one other misdemeanor charge -- having a high alcohol content -- was also dismissed.

So what did the judge feel this girl owes society for her irresponsibility?

No jail time. Actually, she was going to get 180 days in jail, but 177 days were dismissed and she'll spend the remaining three days receiving mandated treatment in a program for drunk drivers in an effort to resolve any issues that motivated her to drive drunk. Ironically, I spent exactly three days after the accident in a prison of my own, on military quarters in my hotel room, separated from family, dependent on others for food, all while frozen with whiplash. But I digress...

Her license is suspended, but she's allowed to drive to work and back.

So I had no part at all in this process. This case was the State of Ohio versus this young lady. Both Martin and I submitted victim impact statements, detailing what life has been like for us since the incident and expressing our hopes for this driver's future, but ultimately, it was up to the judge to determine what was just in the eyes of the law.

I admit, I expected more.

When it comes to a senseless crime like this -- one that is so reckless, so preventable and so rooted in selfishness -- I am of the "by the book" variety. I think every relevant charge should apply and held to the letter of the law. No plea deals. No dismissals. When it comes to drunk driving, I think there is no excuse to not hold someone completely accountable.

But obviously, I'm not the judge in this case. I'm just the random woman who was in the vehicle that got in her way; yet another person who has had to pay physically, emotionally and financially for another's stupidity.

Just last week, my good friend Gary's 21-year-old son Devin, was riding his bike on his way home from his job as an actor at a local Renaissance fair in Wisconsin. A teenager with poor vision, who wasn't wearing her glasses as required by her license, was driving her car along that same road when she decided to answer her cell phone at the same time. As she paid attention to her cell phone -- and not the road -- she slammed into Devin on his bike. Despite her windshield being crushed and caved in, it didn't dawn on her to stop immediately. According to reports, she didn't even realize what she'd done, and she didn't stop and call for help until miles down the road. By the time help got to Devin, it was too late. Last week, Gary and his wife Ruth had to bury their boy.

A blogger friend of mine, Heather Johnson, was 19-years-old and driving home from nursing school in 2003 when an inattentive teenager blew thru a red light and T-boned Heather's car. In a split second -- and at no fault of her own -- Heather was permanently paralyzed from the neck down. That day was the last day Heather was able to move her hands and legs. She is now dependent on others to care for her, and while she now blogs -- using specialized equipment -- with a positive spirit buoyed by a loving and supportive family, she also writes honestly about those quiet moments when the gravity of everything she lost momentarily pulls her down again.

In comparison, my suffering pales.

The most frightening aspects of my experience with this drunk driver are

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Ashleigh Burroughs 6 pts

Sympathy for the person who injured you... that's a tough one, isn't it? My family and I are struggling with anger and pity - he shot the gun but he's crazy as a loon. Does the one mitigate the other? I don't know... my 9 year old friend and a judge and 4 others are dead, I'm still limping 8 months later, and we don't have a Congressperson because she's in rehab, too. On the other hand, what does the anger get me? Nothing but a knot in my stomach. I don't know if I can forgive, but I am trying to leave the anger in my nightstand.

Good Luck to you,

a/b

cate52 5 pts

Besides being a blogger, I suggest you contact EACH & EVERY Ohio State Legislator with your accounting of this event. Find out what exactly are the laws concerning teenager licensing. Some states require additional driving time with an adult in the vehicle, prohibits cell phone usage [unneeded distraction], etc. And if I were you, I send your account of this matter to every major newspaper as a letter to the editor for publication! Driving is a privilege, not a right. But I'll be the first to say that driving distracted is just as dangerous as drunk driving... you know the people that are texting, putting on makeup, eating, etc. However, are you also aware that the Ohio Legislature is considering selling alcohol in the building??



The Redneck Princess 6 pts

I got hit by a very drunk woman about 8 years ago, her lawyer kept getting the trial put off, for over a year...by the time we finally got to court the stupid cop that was on the scene had forgotten what had happened (and obviously she didn't have the forethought to read over her report before the trial) the judge shook his head as he let her walk out the door, no slap on the wrist, nothing. I couldn't believe it...I am glad you and your baby are ok, and hope you are totally healed up sooner than later.

JulieW 5 pts

Thank you to everyone who has commented and reached out to me, not only after this post, but also immediately after the incident. It is so frustrating to hear so many similar stories, but also inspiring to hear how others have tried to turn such a situation into something positive. At this point, I have to hope that the driver who hit me realizes how lucky she is, and that she does start making better decisions for her future.

KarenLynnn 19 pts

Wow. First let me say that I am so happy that you are "ok" as in alive and the baby is kicking. Thank goodness. I can't believe she got off. Drunk drivers always seem to get off. I think that is why there are civil suit attorneys advertising "been in an accident call me!" I was in a car accident once I got rear ended and it took months make that years for me to get over the jitters whenever I have to stop in traffic to make a left turn. Maybe you should hit her in the pocketbook. Not that I am an advocate of lawsuits but she should get more than a slap on the wrist. She won't learn otherwise. Best to you. I'm going to follow you so I can meet your baby!

ShoreBookworm 14 pts

Thank goodness you were not more badly hurt! And the baby is fine, very exciting he will be here soon. :) Much luck and happiness there!

But it is frustrating to read about your experience and horrifying to read the others that you cite. Drunks by definition make bad decisions, so drunk drivers are probably always going to be with us. In my area, a repeat offender, who had been drinking, asked a passerby to breathe into the device that had been court ordered into his car to prevent it from starting if there was alcohol on his breath. The passerby happened to be a cop, so he was snagged. Otherwise, he would have bypassed what had been intended to keep him off the road. Insane.

As far as the courts go, you really have to scratch your head sometimes. You saw it first hand. Then there is the jaw dropping case of Raquel Nelson in Georgia. Her little boy was killed by a hit and run drunk driver when he darted away from her while they were crossing the street. The driver was caught and turned out to be a repeat offender. He got 6 months in jail. But then Ms. Nelson was arrested, tried and convicted of VEHICULAR HOMICIDE, of her own 4 year old, because she wasn't crossing the street at a cross walk. She was facing more jail time than the man who killed her son.

Sometimes it really seems as though the inmates are running the asylum.

OneMommy 10 pts

I am sorry for the pain you have suffered. I am sorrier that this person is not going to receive the help and real wake up call she probably needs to not do this again. I am angered every time I hear in the news that someone died b/c someone who had been drinking and driving, and it had not been their first time, once again got behind the wheel...

victorias_view 121 pts moderator

I never understood why people cannot just call a cab and make the roads safe for everyone involved...Drunk Driving is a selfish act, I have lost friends at a very young age, because they made unwise choices by getting in the car with people who were far from being considered sober.

The court system is never black or white. I suppose they looked at the age of the driver, past offenses, and if they demonstrated remorse. I find it infuriating that they would not own up to there actions.

It`s time people grow - up and realize that when they drive drunk that they are playing with other peoples lives and that is an unfair game to the victims that they take with them.

My Traveling Troop 6 pts

What a tough ordeal to go through!

I think if the court system handed down tougher punishments for drunk drivers, more people's lives would be safe, sound and better off!