Angelina And Me
by Her Bad Mother

Angelina Jolie and I don't have a lot in common. She's a world-famous celebrity who is adored by millions and married to Brad Pitt; I am a blogger who is adored by tens, maybe dozens (on a good week), and married to an awesome guy that you've never heard of. But there is this: we're both mothers. And we're both in therapy.

According to Star! Magazine, Angelina has started therapy - at Brad's insistence, apparently - to deal with 'intense mood swings', body image issues and possible PPD.

All of which I can totally relate to; all of which I struggle with; all of which many new moms struggle with. Hell, if Angie's struggling - even with gazillions of dollars to spend on nannies and nurses and trainers and dieticians and special therapist-doctors - then it's no wonder that so many moms with less support have such a hard time. Which is almost exactly what my psychiatrist told me today at our first session - without support, the work of being a new mother (never mind being a not-so-new mother) can be brutally hard. "You're sleep-deprived," she told me. "You need supports in place that will allow you to sleep. Otherwise no amount of anti-depressant medication in the world is going to make this better. Do you have the resources to hire a night nurse?"

No, we don't have the resources to hire a night nurse - not for any length of time, anyway. But to judge from Angelina's experience - because what do you want to bet that they have a team of night nurses at their disposal? - having that kind of support isn't necessarily enough.

But you have to start somewhere. For Angelina, I guess, it's therapy. For me, it's therapy AND a prescription for sleeping pills (so that I can help myself get to sleep when the baby sleeps) AND a plan for my husband to sleep with the baby in another room.

And maybe some cinnamon rolls. Because that body image issue can wait until I've had some sleep.

 

Catherine blogs as Her Bad Mother, and cannot wait until she can fill her Atavan prescription tomorrow.

Submitted by Her Bad Mother (view blog) on Wed, 10/01/2008 - 20:37

Comments

 

This is so important for other struggling
moms

It's wonderful that you're sharing your struggle. On your blog and here. 

---

I blog at MomGrind

I manage my kids' activities at UpToUs

Submitted by Vered on Wed, 10/01/2008 - 20:29
 

From another sleep deprived mama

It's been over a year since I've had more than 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. On good nights I will get a single stretch of 4. That happens maybe once a month. I feel your pain. I knew before I got pg that this would be the hardest part for me. It sucks to be right. My daughter was born 3 months premature, so I got to start the sleep deprivation cycle early. I am too sleep deprived to be the kind of mama I want to be, need to be, KNOW I can be, and yet, caring for her means I cannot get the sleep I need. It's a vicious cycle.

All I have to say is night nurses are all well and good, but they don't work for those of us who breastfeed unless they are WET nurses, too.

I've been in therapy for about a month and a half now, with a PhD, not an MD, so no meds for me, yet, but I'm sure that once she weans, I'm going to need help getting my body to figure out it is allowed to sleep the EIGHT HOURS IN A ROW I DESPERATELY require.

Submitted by Cassandra on Thu, 10/02/2008 - 08:37
 

Therapy is Good

Therapy is good no matter who you are. 

We all have issues that we can't resolve on our own or with friends and family.  Go Angelina (whom I initially was 'against' with the whole Angelina/Brad/Jennifer drama) and Go Her Bad Mother!!!!!!

~Mia.

My blog is General Hysteria~

Submitted by MiaHysteria on Fri, 10/03/2008 - 05:14
 

You're Not Alone

I have had 3 children and have suffered with ppd with all three of them.  The last one was by far the worst, because you of course have to still be mom to 3 children, right?  My youngest is 3 and we are finally seeing a little light at the end of the sleep tunnel, but the fact that he is now sleeping in my bed could be something there (insert bad parenting note here). 

Please know that it will get better, you will start to see old glimpses of yourself, and eventually get a night's sleep.  You are lucky to have a hubby willing to take the nighttime responsibilities from you, be happy there. 

Good Luck & Good Night!

Teresa

Submitted by Teresa B on Fri, 10/03/2008 - 12:52
 

So glad you're sharing your

So glad you're sharing your feelings -- your trials and tribulations. It's so important for women to feel safe telling the truth about new motherhood.

It is true that sleep management is a very important tool in dealing with PPD. Your doctor is EXACTLY right that no amount of meds or therapy will help you get better if you're being tortured by endless sleep deprivation.

Even those of us who can't afford night nurses -- which is almost ALL of us -- can get some sleep. My husband and I had a 2-nights on, 2-nights off deal. For two nights I got up with the baby the entire night, and for the next two nights I slept soundly throughout the entire night in a room without a monitor and knew that my husband was in charge. And yes, he had a job to go to in the morning. But that's life. In sickness and in health, right? He knew this was what he had to do for our entire family to get healthy.

And it helped immensely. The truth is studies show that unless you get 5 hours in a row of sleep, what you are getting is NOT helpful.

Katherine Stone, author, Postpartum Progress at http://postpartumprogress.typepad.com

Katherine Stone
Postpartum Progress

Submitted by katstone on Fri, 10/03/2008 - 17:40
 

It *is* amazing what getting

It *is* amazing what getting a full night's sleep will do for you. My baby (the youngest of my 7) is 18 months. I stopped nursing him at 16 months. I got a full nights sleep shortly thereafter and lo-and-behold, I'm nearly human again.

 I still can't get anything done with him and his 3 year old brother hanging on me, but at least I'm sleeping.

 

Good luck!

 

 

http://mamafasha.blogspot.com

http://MKSkinCare.myarbonne.com

Submitted by Kian Yamaguchi on Fri, 11/14/2008 - 16:03
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