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Sparkle (2)
The other day as I waited in the checkout line at the grocery store, I picked up an entertainment rag of a magazine. The cover touted Angelina Jolie as a bad mother--leaving children LOCKED in a hotel room while she went out drinking.
The story inside left me aghast. Not because of Angelina Jolie and her supposed "bad mothering" but at the implied judgment of mothers everywhere. Why? Because Angelina Jolie is a mom and a human.
Let's look at the shameful things she does as a mother according to what I remember of this fine piece of journalism.
- She goes out to dinner with her husband and drinks wine.
- She leaves her children in hotel rooms under supervision of staff? nannies? all of the above. In other words, they aren't alone and have a babysitter.
- She stayed in her room/slept until noon when her kids have been up for "hours."
- She exercises for two hours a day. I think that counts as "work hours" for a woman who works in entertainment.
- She shops online. It sometimes takes HOURS.
- She eats oddly, probably in a disordered way.
- She doesn't allow leftovers to be kept.
Now let's think about this:
- Her husband isn't tarred as being a bad father for this dinner attendance, drinking and sleeping in.
- Mothers are often told to have "couple time" and "date nights" but at the same time--leaving the children with a sitter=bad mother.
- I may be alone in this, but if I knew my kids were in safe, capable hands--I am pretty sure that not rising in the morning and having a Suzy Sunshine Mommy moment would fall to the end of my list--especially if I had been out late the night before.
- Exercise=work for her and therefore this is really a working mom issue AND another damned if you do/damned if you don't for other mothers. You are told as a mother to exercise, keep fit and healthy to set a good example for your children but again, you should somehow accomplish this without relying on sitters/family members and of course, best of all, while your children sleep. (No mention of whether her husband exercises "excessively.")
- Angelina has to shop just like the rest of us. She also can't shop offline without being hounded by the paparazzi. I also shop online because it is convenient (especially as a busy, working, mother.) It sometimes takes hours! Dare I count up all the hours it takes between the two of us here to shop for the six children--just for the holidays it takes serious time. Three of our children are adults. None of them needs extensive wardrobes for public appearances. We don't need extensive wardrobes since we work from home. No one will take our picture as we hit Starbucks on Friday morning and then roundly criticize our mom jeans from Meijer or t-shirt from BlogHer or Threadless.
- Very few mothers eat perfectly all of the time. In fact, if you do as a mother, could I meet you? Again, this is probably job and personality related. Sure. It could be disordered, but look at her job, lifestyle, and is any mom perfect? I didn't see anything suggesting she makes the children eat this way. No, not a great example for the kids, but I have been guilty of just token servings of foods I dislike but want my children to eat. (and again, her husband's "eating example for the kids" wasn't discussed.
- Doesn't keep leftovers. Do you really eat all the leftovers you put in the fridge? Would you keep them if you had a chef on hand to cook? Does her not keeping leftovers really put a damper on her humanitarian work in other countries? As more than one child has been known to remark: "If there are starving children in Africa, why don't you just ship this dinner to them?" It's a ridiculous thing to say to a child and an even more ridiculous thing to say to an adult. I am fairly sure that the fact that we put leftovers in the fridge on a regular basis isn't making a difference in the wthorld. (except for when we get carry out leftovers that come in clamshells and then that is a negative difference in the world.)
I bet you see yourself in some of these tidbits of "bad mothering" and that is why the article bugs me. No, we may not do things to Angelina extremes. Who knows? The "sources" were disgruntled/previous staff from what I gathered in the article. I am very sure
