I live in the Bible Belt. Good old Nebraska--Home of the Huskers football team and...not much else. We have 270 churches in my city according to the Yellow Pages. There is every flavor of Christianity a girl could ask for, and probably a few more besides.
Like most people around here I was raised to be a true believer. I grew up in an off-the-beaten path sort of denomination and very sheltered as a result. I was in my senior year of high school before I knew what an f-bomb was.
At the ripe age of 20, I realized that my church was completely insane. None of it made sense, from the weird rules about dancing to the crackpot founder (probably more about that in future posts). So I went in search of what I was sure would be truth--a different, more accurate Christian denomination.
Unfortunately, I soon discovered there was no such thing as a Bible-believing Christian church. At some point I would always hear the leadership say, "Well yes that's in the Bible, but we don't really believe it was meant that way." So, I gave up on church and yes, I've read the verse about not forsaking assembly with other Christians. If they could all be inconsistent, so could I, right?
Turns out I'm a bit too logical for that and I began to have my doubts. The clincher came as I listened to a Christian radio show host read an email from an ex-Christian. I've read a great deal on objections to Christianity, but this email really poked me in the eye. The worst part was that the best defense the host offered was that the caller didn't understand what he was talking about and never went beyond that criticism.
So I set out to disprove the ex-Christian's claims for myself. I read an excellent New Testament scholar's work. His name is Bart Ehrman - check him out. It validated everything the guy said in his email.
Long story short, my faith slowly disintegrated and here I am, an anonymous atheist. Atheist because I found out I can't trust the Bible as a supernatural document or trust that God exists. Anonymous because my friends and family don't know yet. They are all religious to varying degrees and I don't know what this will do to our relationships.
My blog is going to be about my journey to discover life after Christianity. I'm trying to start with a blank slate and figure out what is most important to me, what are my values based on and are they still valid? I would welcome suggestions for topics, questions, or even challenges that could lead me back to Christianity or theism.
Are any of you out there like me?