Anonymous Atheism

In Judaism... to be a good Jew, belief is not required, doing good deeds is.  Religion has a lot to offer based on its historical experience dealing with human frailty. A friend of mine says: "Jewish nonbelievers know exactly what they god they don't believe in expects them to do"- belief is not necessary to live a moral life.  I'm sharing this perspective because I thought you might enjoy it. You might also enjoy the book "Who wrote the bible" that may allow you respect and insight into religion and the bible (old testiment) without requiring you to believe in a supernatural being.  Best wishes on your journey.

Good luck in your journey. I hope you discover the difference between the church & God. The church is imperfect & always will be (why would it not be? it is filled with people). I hope you don't let your disgust at church hypocrisy drive you completely away from God forever. 

I'm coming from a similar background, but I haven't gone to the extreme you have. What I've seen in your post and in the comments is the problem with basing your religion on the bible, as much of Christianity encourages. If you start to doubt the bible, what do you have left? Christianity claims to introduce people to God, but I think only a few groups actually do so. Much of it is hype and relationship with the church and the Bible, but not with God. I don't think religion is really designed to bring relationship with God to people. With no true relationship with God, I can see how easy it is to become an atheist.

I left organized religion in 2009, and it has definitely been a process for me. I'm still untangling so much from all my years in religion (and blogging about it at alivetoreality.wordpress.com). I started doubting the doctrine that the bible is the "Word of God" probably 10 years ago, but it took me a long time to let go of the religion that is based on that book. What I did have, though, were genuine experiences of the supernatural and spiritual world. So I have no doubt in my mind that the spiritual world is real. I don't really doubt the existence of God, but I do question if God is anything like what I was taught. New age ideas of God as a spiritual force that runs through all of humanity appeal to me, but I cannot yet let go of the idea of God as a separate person than me with actual thoughts and feelings.

But I get where you're coming from with coming out to family and Christian friends. I changed my name and started a new Facebook account when I started my blog. The main person I'm worried about finding my blog is my fundamentalist Christian mom, but I guess if she does I can just reject any comments she tries to make. I think she might be happier knowing exactly where I'm at by reading the blog than wondering for years. She already knows that I don't really accept everything in the bible. My brother has kept her wondering -- years ago he told my parents that he doesn't know if there's a God anymore, and ever since he refuses to talk about it.

What has kept me from sliding all the way away from Christian beliefs is a podcast by Darin Hufford from the Free Believers' Network. He's an ex-pastor who has left organized religion but still holds to many Christian beliefs, just not so firmly as fundamentalist types do. I like the conversation because it gets me thinking, and I find it entertaining because he says so many shocking, heretical (from a Christian standpoint) things. He also has a book called The Misunderstood God.

You said in your post that you're up for a challenge, so I guess my challenge to you is to be open to the possibility that God exists and Christianity has just given God a really bad name.

I guess I'm from a different place in many ways, but I did go through a long phase of feeling that I ought to believe, but never being able to. As a kid I found religion scary and as I grew older it made less and less sense.

Still, I'm lucky enough to live somewhere where being an open and out atheist is very normal and nothing most people get very upset about.

The best of luck, there's certainly a good and meaningful life waiting for you without religion.

I am like you -- only I go one step further. I'm an ex-pastor's wife. I've started to do the same thing.....write about the hypocrisy I've seen and expose the inner workings of the Christian church. I will definitely bookmark you and come back to see what else you have to say. You can find my story, which sounds strikingly similar on some points at www.arsenicandchurchgrace.com. Thanks for putting it out there....

I am a bible believing Christian and I go to a church that only preaches the bible - but I totally understand where you are coming from. I was an agnostic. I grew up in a family that was Christian. Taught us that the bible was truth...but when I was a child we grew up in a church that didnt teach that exactly. They would do whats called topical preaching. They picked a topic and found bible verses to go along with what they wanted to say.

I had so many questions that they just could not answer...so I stopped really caring. Besides, why should I believe just because my parents told me to, or because the pastor told me to? I was and still am the secret rebellious one of my family.

Then we started going to a local calvary chapel church. You can find a close one on their website calvarychapel.com - and they only teach the bible. I went and found the answers to my questions. I found people who didn't judge me. I found out why I should believe the bible, why I should believe that Jesus died for me.

I can 1000% understand why you want to stay anonymous - some Christians just are annoying and dont understand the need to question. And they just push too much! Ahem sorry. my issue there. But I would suggest talking to someone. You have fair questions - no matter what they are. No one should believe just because someone tells you to.

There are so many of us like you! I too was raised in a strict Christian household. My dad recently started studying to become a pastor, in fact. However, over time, 3 of his children (That's me, and my younger brother and sister) have used the brains he and my mom gave us to think critically about religion. He doesn't know that the three of us are now atheists. My mother knows, and she has wavered through agnostic and Christian phases throughout her life, trying to hold onto the religion mostly for his sake. My older sister is currently in a "born again" (for maybe the 3rd or 4th time) phase... she used to be the rebellious one but is now the only one of us who my dad can still consider his good Christian daughter... he just doesn't know that yet. Telling him, and my aunt who is also in love with Jesus almost seems counterproductive at this point... they are very set in their ways. I just wish we could be open about our atheism without worrying about the criticism from people we love. I don't care about criticism from strangers, that's for sure.Well, the Christians were once prosecuted and I guess it's our turn as atheists. I can only hope that someday soon the rest of the world starts to see logic and reason and we can be more open. Sorry for the long rant but I wanted to let you know there are more of us out here than you can imagine!

Oh that's almost my story! I love Bart Ehrman, too. Originally, I was reading a book by John Selby Spong, an Episcopalian priest, and something he said caused me to realize that the Bible was a human and therefore fallible document. Which meant that the truths I'd been taught to follow were not all necessarily literal. It didn't necessarily mean that there are not lots of truths in the Bible or that Jesus isn't a good way to connect to God (or whatever word you like... Source, The Universe, etc). And the more I learn about the history of christianity and the Bible, the more I feel it was intended to be a metaphorical religion, not a literal one, and not necessarily one that speaks to everyone - we each have to find the way to Source that feeds our own personal souls. I follow a Pagan path now b/c I find that Nature is where I feel the closest to Source. I love talking religion and sometimes write about my path beyond christianity at zebrabelly.com, hope to talk to you more!

I grew up in a really religious Pentecostal family. Not the type that wears long dresses and doesn't cut their hair, but think "holy roller" and speaking in tongues type. I am 30, but have considered myself an agnostic atheist for about 3 or 4 years now and only JUST officially came out to my family this summer. I'm sure they knew by the few things I've posted on my facebook regarding religion, or creationism in schools, etc. but it was the first time we have openly spoken about my husband's and my disbelief. Surprisingly they took it really well, and I wish I had told them outright much earlier. I've spent way too much time worrying that they would reject me, when all along, it would have paid off to just be open with them. I know that isn't the case with every family out there, and I consider myself very fortunate. I know it's still a sore spot with my mom, but she doesn't bring it up, which I'm grateful for. As far as the people I live around down here in TX, I have never hidden who I am. I think there are far more atheists around you than you think, it just takes one person to come out to break the ice. Be strong, be bold, and pave the path for those who will follow. We need closeted atheists to come out so that we can be recognized as a contributing part of society. Good on you for challenging your own beliefs. I wish you the best of luck in your journey.

I was anonymously living as an atheist. I live in the Canadian Bible Belt, and it sucks. You are judged for not being associated with religion; the first question a lot of people ask when meeting you is what church you attend. It's bizarre. But I spent most of my early twenties figuring myself out, and trying to gather why I felt the way I did.

Ironically, I think my sister just served a very religious mission in your area.

I feel ya! I really do!

I'm with you.

I believe wholly in God, and yet stay far away from churches. Spirituality does not equal religion, IMHO. You can have one without engaging the other. I tell everyone in my small Southern town that I'm a Christian Pagan. They hear "pagan", shake their heads, and pray for me. And on the other side of the coin, the full pagans I know are much more genuine and usually, more intentionally spiritual as individuals. Isn't that funny?

I look at the deity I believe in as an actual, real cosmic force of good -- because of solid things which have happened in my own life, my own experience -- which I call God, and the Bible as a not-always-terribly-consistent book made by fallible people who meant well, but are still human.

Of course, these days, that just lands me in the New Age category. Which is fine... categories are overrated anyway. :) But what's funny is, I think the Biblical disciples would have been, too.

It's all about putting in the time and learning what YOU really believe (or don't!), and not just buying the easiest packaged product off the denominational shelf.

I'm like you. Just like you. I tend to follow Buddhism b/c of a general agreement with the philosophy of it and it isn't a religion. I "came out" with my beliefs, and it closed a lot of social doors if you will, but my family came around after a bit. There are still times when you can tell people "skip" over you in regards to certain life questions, but I accept their beliefs in hopes that one day they can all just accept mine as being different. I think everyone should search for themselves what suits them.

a few friends and I used to joke about starting a support group for survivors of fundamentalist christian churches. I even went so far as to set up a ning group - a week before ning started charging, so we just let it drop.

people dont understand what a big deal it is to leave your church - to let go of all that tradition, and family, and friends... they also don't understand that we're not doing this just to be rebelious - it's a matter of integrity.

It's almost like you have to come out to your family as a non-christian - and for many of us, the response from family members is quite devastating.

And in many of the churches, particularly the most conservative, they can be very emotionally abusive to even the youngest children. I remember having nightmares after watching movies of heads rolling down the street from executions, and children forced to be raised by "non-believers" because the rest of their family was "raptured," but they were left behind because they didn't say the sinner's prayer... As a 4 year old, I would get up in the middle of the night and do bed checks if the house got too quiet, to make sure i hadn't been abandoned by my raptured family. I said the sinners prayer thousands of times, over and over again. I just couldnt believe it enough.

People are always talking about their personal relationship with Jesus, but it turns out that most of their relationship is with the Bible. If you suggest that they might be able to skip the Bible and go directly to the source, they usually can't imagine it. Do you think you could develop a personal Christianity that isn't Bible-based, since it is the Bible that put you off Christianity? I'd love to know what you think about this. I don't have a dog in this fight since my beliefs are about 90% "there's no way of knowing" and 10% "I think there's a loving creator that is just too big for us to understand."

We're here. There are more closet atheists than you imagine. I got lucky in that I went off to college shortly after de-converting and was able to come out to my friend group without major relational consequences. My suggestion is to look for a free thought or atheist group in your area.

I congratulate you for pursuing this journey. I know that it was difficult for me to come to terms with what I now deem my "humanism" both personally and openly with my friends and family. My mother still considers me an "agnostic" and joking calls me her "little heathen" because I no longer attend a church. She still goes weekly and is very involved in her church but she's also very open-minded and socially liberal. The United Methodists seem to be good about that.

And I miss church because the fellowship was always so warm and comforting. But I feel like a hypocrite because I don't believe in a god that created the universe and sits watching us all the time and I don't believe that Jesus was anything more than a really good guy. That doesn't make me an evil person. I still agree with a lot of the Bible's teachings and I think I'm a better person for being raised in a strong Christian faith.

I've actually thought a lot about attending a Universal Unitarian Church. A lot of their followers seem to feel the same way I do.

My husband was raised in an Evangelical Christian household and attended private christian school through 8th grade, but his faith has waned as well. Surprisingly to me, he now considers himself agnostic.

Contradictions fill the whole world. Human beings are extraordinarily contradictory critters. Communication (whether it's written, verbal, or visual) is an imperfect art, both in the giving and receiving of meaning. No one should trust the Bible as a supernatural document because, well, it isn't supernatural. It's a book. It's filled with communication, which is, let me say it again, imperfect. Finding a perfect religious document or a perfect religion -- wild goose chase, in my opinion. Finding the tools and habits and community that you need in your life to keep you focused on striving to be a better person throughout your lifetime...that is, I think, worth some effort, whether or not what you find you need is a religion. I wish you all the best in your journey. :) (Just for the record: I'm Catholic, not a perfect one, and I don't attend church because anyone else or because God wants me to. I attend church for me.)

I think it's great you are asking questions and really looking into you heart about your beliefs. I am a Christian, and all my investigating has led me to this. The only challenge I have for you is to stop focusing on people, churches, etc. and all their flaws, because there are many, but to seek solely for yourself. Most pioneers in the faith, (Luther, Lewis, etc). all went against the grain in some ways, only to receive a bigger glimpse into eternity. Just like Christ, their biggest setbacks were other "believers". A book recommendation I have is "Surprised by Joy' by CS Lewis.

Enjoy the journey!

Hi there! In our church we believe that it's in the Bible we need to change according to it, so I guess we're a total Bible-believing church. I had religious relatives and always made fun of them (sorry guys) and didn't come to my faith until late. But I cannot be part of a hypocritical church. It's not like ours has no sin (cough, cough - far from it), but you can see people changing as they grow so that's encouraging.

Anyway, I'm not sure I could live in the Bible belt. The winch might get too tight. Good luck on your spiritual journey and big hugs. :-)

this was such a good read. i'm a "fallen off the wagon" christian i guess. i wouldn't call my self an atheist because atheism is a religion too.

i just don't know what i believe anymore, and you know what? i live a good life, i'm kind to everyone, and if you live by the golden rule isn't that good enough?

and isn't god understanding enough to accept my inability to logically grasp the bible? i'm not sure i'll ever be a "regular" again, but i sure miss the music and the fellowship of my church back home. oh, and they didn't care if i questioned the bible... moravian church in Lititz PA is where i raised my kids and sang in the choir for 10 years.

maybe in this instance it would be better not to announce your new religion to your family, because you know it would hurt them.

I have read quite a bit of Bart Ehrman, good choice! I am not so anonymous agnostic. I actually have an MA in Religious studies. I was going to go on and be a youth pastor. I was a church camp counselor, Jesus rock groupie, junior deacon! Then I persued the academic study of religion and it became just that, academic. I am contining to persue my education and plan to go back for my PhD next fall in religious studies. My family knows and they aren't happy with it. They still make me say grace at holidays. Last year I put my foot down and they passed the duty on to someone else.

If you ever need someone to chat with, look me up!

I hear ya, AA. I was on a spiritual quest for much, much too long - 24 years - and finally ended up in a church that aligned with my beliefs. I could just never get around the fact that there are 22 major religions on this planet, but only one is supposed to be correct? Couldn't swallow it. Can't. Won't.

Since you are a reader, I feel obliged to recommend the writings of Ernest Holmes and Ralph Waldo Emerson. Good to see what is out there on your spiritual path.

Best of luck, AA! Hope to see your name one day, and all that it represents.

I'm not there, or there. I see myself as spiritual/ creationist (note the username;) ) I also live in the bible belt. For me it was many small, but three big things that brought me to this point.

1) Meeting groups of people who's first question for me was what church do you belong to? 20 min later the same people participating in hurtful gossip about their friend…. ( more than three times now )

2) Taking a good close look at "the canon" this same text is shared among several large world religions… Notice how differently has it been "understood". Then realize the influence a scribe could put on a message because of the lack of original vowel markings.

3) Comparing the similarities of biblical story ideas outside " the canon",