Another unwanted pregnancy and another child for grandma to raise.

My very good friend has a daughter who is pregnant again.  Please don't think I am judging this 24 year old.  I love her dearly but I am hoping she will see that in order for life to become what she is seeking, she needs to make better choices.  I know that from personal experience.  I guess that is why my heart hurts for her.  I know that life can really get you down and it is during those times that you don't think about the consequences of poor decisions and you act out of your emotions instead of your knowledge. 

The father of this child is also the father of her second child, whom he doesn't support financially.  He hasn't seen his 18 month old daughter because he has been in prison for the last year on drug charges.  As soon as he came home (to his parent’s house) he wanted to see his little girl.  Well that was the excuse to see her mom and in a moment of believing his lies of how he wanted to make things right, she got pregnant. He isn't planning on becoming part of their lives because he isn't able to make good choices and his life is hard because...well, he wants to make money selling drugs and the cops are watching him.

This young mother comes from a good family and she has been loved and cared for all her life.  Even now she has moved in with her parents and they take care of her and her two little girls...soon to be three.  My friend, the mother and grandmother, is starting to look weary and worn out.  She is the person most would go to for prayer and guidance and yet she is not sure what to do.  She adopted the first little one but knows the father of the second and third grandchild will not sign the papers; but he will allow her to provide for them in every way a parent does.

Since this is the young mother's third pregnancy out of wedlock, the state will pay for her to have her tubes tied.  The family is rejoicing in this.   I guess it is a good way to stop unwanted pregnancies but this will not help her from being used by men if she can't learn to say "no" to unwanted advances.  Her low self-esteem and the feeling of not being loved by her real father have made her seek affection from any man so that she feels loved.

I have met several young single moms with children and I know what that encompasses because I was also a young single mother of two boys.  It wasn't until I found my self worth through the eyes of God that I was able to stop searching for a man's love and finally rest in His arms.  Then He blessed me with my third husband and knight in shining armor.  We've been married for 26 years.  So please don't think I am judging...I just want to know how to help her and the other moms.

I am also a grandparent and I love my grandchildren and when they come to visit I play with them and spoil them and send them back to their parents.  I would take care of them if needed but I don't want to be their mother.  I am a mother of four sons and now I want to spend time with my husband.  As soon as our 17 year old goes off to college we want to act like newlyweds since we have had children with us since we got married.  I am still young at 56 and I have no intentions of raising a second family, yet again let me say that I would if needed. 

How do we help this generation take responsibility for their families?  


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