Appreciating Mental Health

So this week my husband is gone which means I can't get out and exercise.  Of course I could exercise inside and I could bundle up the kids and put them in the bike trailer, but I just don't really feel up for braving the cold and wind.  It makes me appreciate how well I've been doing over the last bunch of months.  It makes me appreciate how focused I was on making change happen because right now I'm not feeling very focused.

I'm feeling far better than I was yesterday and the day before.  Those two days I was feeling "wanting" or "bleh".  Today I was just grumpy, but felt more in touch with it.  I think a lot of it was hormonal and I also think a lot of it fed on itself.

When I'm in that mode, I can feel my body really wanting some type of stimuli - something to get it back to its normal state.  And, the easiest way to get some stimuli is to eat which then leaves me feeling fat and bloated (because I don't just eat a touch) and that leaves me feeling bleh, but also still not stimulated or zesty.

I have learned that exercise helps give my body that stimuli it needs (unless this theory of mine is all just a bunch of BS), but when I'm feeling this way, it's really hard to just get up and exercise which is why I like running.

When I leave the house, I can just jog slowly and as my body starts to kick in so does my pace - not always a heck of a lot, but enough to make it count as exercise.

So today I am appreciating how nice it is to have a partner that can watch the kids when I go exercise in the morning or on the weekend and I am appreciating how helpful it is to have a gym partner to help me commit to waking up in the mornings and I'm appreciating how much better I feel when I am exercising. 

Even if my body doesn't feel better, my mind knows that I'm not just sitting in my slump of stupiferous slothy slufferness and that counts.  I wonder how much my hormones, my inactivity, and my food choices lead to this slump that I so easily find myself in?

It makes me super keenly aware that I need to make sure that I have a plan for the winter when I can no longer run outside (I'm too accident prone to risk running on slippery ground) and when it won't be as easy to wake up as early or when I just feel the dark of winter start to set in and the life of two busy children in one small house becomes a bit overwhelming.

Taking care of one's mental health is really what I'm doing and it's a heck of a lot of work.

I'm not doing a very stellar job this week so this is a good darn chance to appreciate what I am doing to work through it and I'll count that as counting even if I just ate more hummous and moose burger and mint chip cookies than I could have.  I just wish I'd exercised so tomorrow I will work harder to get that part back on track.


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